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Original poster

Husband doesn’t like me reading

143 replies

JEM61 · 21/09/2023 23:10

Hey all,

So quick one. I want to know if I’m being a total d1ck here. I love to read in bed, my husband sits in bed on his phone and I like to read. However, he gets really sulky and makes a big deal out of it if I read a book in bed. He’s said it’s a tactic I use to ignore him and divide us (!). He’s fine for me to be on my phone and scroll through nothingness, but to pick up a book and read I usually end up apologising for. Anyone else or just me?

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 22/09/2023 02:00

Possibility is he feels uncomfortable with the idea that you are more well read than him. Rather than pick up a book himself, he'd rather stop you reading.

Maybe he has inferiority issues around his own intelligence.

His problem not yours of course.

RantyAnty · 22/09/2023 02:01

He's a weirdo.

Mothership4two · 22/09/2023 02:17

According to YouGov 36% of British people and 43% of British women say they prefer to read when they go to bed so it is hardly unusual.

It is quite an odd thing for him to say unless you are reading on for hours every single night so no cuddles, etc.

Hibiscrubbed · 22/09/2023 03:10

He sounds like a total dunce.

PerfectMatch · 22/09/2023 03:36

WTF? I read every night in bed while DH listens to the radio. Each to their own! Apart from the fact that it's entirely your choice and not his, reading is much better for your "sleep health" and your attention span. Honestly he needs to shut up about this. Does he try to control your behaviour in other ways?

Blueeyedmale · 22/09/2023 03:47

Jesus Christ sulking because you are reading a book,that's not only controlling but absolutely pathetic of him,I'm picking up the mumsnet terminology quite quickly LTB,enjoy your books,you don't need any new chapters in your life that involves him

Mothership4two · 22/09/2023 03:54

@PerfectMatch

I read every night in bed while DH listens to the radio

So do we. I actually find the noise of the radio irritating but put up with it and don't tell him (I find noise distracting). Now read from a Kindle so as not to keep DH awake when I read on. He goes to sleep within minutes. It's called compromising which OP's DH isn't doing

merrymelodies · 22/09/2023 04:42

Books rule!

Dump him, OP. He sounds controlling and not terribly bright.

frozendaisy · 22/09/2023 07:50

He sulks because you read a book, but he reads his phone.

Where do you find these toddler men?

If you want to stay with him, and I'm struggling to understand why, don't you just bluntly say "you read on a screen I read on a page, can you understand that? So stop sulking because I will never stop reading"

What else is there to say?

StoatofDisarray · 22/09/2023 07:51

LunaNorth · 21/09/2023 23:13

Or separate houses?

Actually…separate lives?

The latter.

FarEast · 22/09/2023 07:55

You’re not the dick. He’s controlling and acting like a child. What egotism, to try to force you to do what he’s doing.

KyliesPencilCollection · 22/09/2023 07:58

I got this from an exh too. He hated the fact I might be learning something, increasing knowledge. I was cleverer than him anyway, and he hated it.
Arsehole.

MakeAListTheySaid · 22/09/2023 08:42

JEM61 · 21/09/2023 23:10

Hey all,

So quick one. I want to know if I’m being a total d1ck here. I love to read in bed, my husband sits in bed on his phone and I like to read. However, he gets really sulky and makes a big deal out of it if I read a book in bed. He’s said it’s a tactic I use to ignore him and divide us (!). He’s fine for me to be on my phone and scroll through nothingness, but to pick up a book and read I usually end up apologising for. Anyone else or just me?

I think the fact that he's made you doubt yourself enough over reading a book, to have to ask this here, shows that he's very controlling and has worn down over time. He's done such damage to your confidence that you actually think reading a book in bed could make you a 'dick'.

Get rid of him.

MakeAListTheySaid · 22/09/2023 08:43

**worn YOU down

NoSquirrels · 22/09/2023 08:45

What else is he controlling about?

Olika · 22/09/2023 08:49

Absolutely ridiculous

Bralessandfree · 22/09/2023 08:54

Bootskates · 21/09/2023 23:17

What does he want you to do when he's on his phone so as not to cause a "divide"? Sit gazing at him lovingly until he's done scrolling?

Exactly this.

The book absorbs you and takes attention away from him.

autienotnaughty · 22/09/2023 09:17

What does he want you to do stare at each other in silence? If you are talking neither needs to be doing anything else but otherwise both do what you want.

The "your dividing us " makes him sound like a controlling twat. It would be a deal breaker for me. But I love my books. Seriously I wouldn't pan

autienotnaughty · 22/09/2023 09:18

Pander to this

Passepartoute · 22/09/2023 09:33

So what are you supposed to do? Gaze into space waiting for him to tell you something fascinating about whatever he's looking at on his phone? If he wants your attention he needs to get off the phone and offer more interesting company.

Mapleunicorn · 22/09/2023 10:13

My ex did this. One of the many subtle signs I missed at the time that i now realise was him being a controlling dick

OkIAmDoneNoReally · 22/09/2023 10:26

He's being a dick, I read every night before I switch off. Husband scrolls.

Mmhmmn · 22/09/2023 10:28

@thatwassociopathic 😆love it

HorribleNecktie · 22/09/2023 10:31

What the actual fuck is he on?

If my husband tried to tell me not to read he’d be out on his arse.

Mmhmmn · 22/09/2023 10:32

Don't apologise for being a civilised person who enjoys reading.

Perhaps the years of scrolling his phone have rotted his brain - or was he really always a pathethic and controlling arse?

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