My Husband just said “know your place!” In an argument

[Thefirstime]

My husband just said “know your place” in an argument I'm absolutely fuming..

then followed it by saying your a “housewife and a mum”

WTF..

his family have meddled a lot lately and he then becomes distant towards me..

That’s horrible! WTAF…

Good Lord! Has he been reincarnated from the last century?
Know I have this sketch in mind. s

I assume this argument was about something where he thought that as the Big Man of the house, you didn't have the right to ask for or do something or to suggest he behave in a certain way?

I think it's very very difficult to get past this. I'm also guessing this isn't the only time that he has behaved in a patronising and/or controlling way?

What a sexist misogynistic pos.

Deal breaker.

Now, not know. Grrrrrr.

Well, yes, I think you should know your place - somewhere he isn’t, with people who actually appreciate you.

Marriage ending territory unless followed by months of extreme remorse, grovelling and radical change in behaviour.

He’s exposed himself hasn’t he. He obviously thinks you’re his subordinate.

Point out that if he carries on spouting that bollocks, your place will be his ex wife.

I hope you don't have daughters, OP (or sons for that matter, as that's where all these hopeless husbands on MN come from).

Ime arguments tend to bring any deep held but normally unacceptable feelings to the surface.

I'd bet this is how he really feels and I don't think that I could get past that.

I presume he meant in the kitchen and you have suitably reminded him this is where you keep your best knives?

He's shown his cards, now time to assemble yours OP-absolutely eyewatering to read this in 2023.

I think your place right now should be online looking for a Divorce solicitor op.

You said ex wrong

He's told you how little he regards your value and contribution and now it's up to you to decide what you are going to do with that information. Personally, I'd call it a day.

This sketch is the first thing I thought of.
We still laugh about it now.

The fact that he said something like 'know your place' with a straight face, is beyond me 😕

His balls would be my new stress ball keyring, I kid you not.

You need to say, 'Know your place. If you speak to me like that ever again, you'll be my ex'. And mean it.

Tell him to know his place as a sad little misogynist and bigot.

God. I’d forgotten my ex-H used to say this to me. Horrid. I got out; you can too x

What did you want from the thread, OP? You can’t be dependent on a man who thinks you’re worthless, so plan to gain employed he can parent 50/50. Is the fact he’s a gross misogynist a new thing?

I’m so hurt by this..

he has been controlling and patronising in the past which we’ve worked on - he’s in therapy..

obvs therapy isn’t working.. it’s usually when his family are in our lives or staying with us.. his mum is a manipulative medlar..

how awful to say this though.. I work part time in a low paid job - to be honest I think he might want to be alone.. he’s been very distant and we lack deep emotional connection..

I feel slightly stuck - I am currently taking a course to retrain..

Unless there is a massive drip feed coming where the argument was because you rang up his boss or something (Ie something that clearly isn’t your place to meddle in) then of course he is being unreasonable.

What was the context?

The context was he wanted to go fishing first thing on a Saturday morning after our son’s first full week at school, I asked that he consider going in the afternoon instead so we get the morning together - he said I was being controlling and he provides everything so I should know my place..