My Husband just said “know your place!” In an argument

[Thefirstime]

My husband just said “know your place” in an argument I'm absolutely fuming..

then followed it by saying your a “housewife and a mum”

WTF..

his family have meddled a lot lately and he then becomes distant towards me..

Woah! I am getting flashbacks to my exh telling me that , "he put the roof over my head." Like I was some charity case.
Also not forgetting my divorce barrister telling the judge that I might not do paid work outside the home but I contributed equally by providing full time care to a young dd and 2 sd and running the household.
One of the happiest days of my life when the Decree Absolut came through.

I saw the title and thought of Alf Garnett.

This bloke's a dinosaur.

Oh OP this really is the end of the line for your marriage.

No point in trying to stay together. Nothing to be discussed.

Go get a solicitor and start divorce proceedings.

I agree you should know your place. It’s not with him.

This reminded me of the Harry Enfield Sketch "Look, Listen and Take Heed - Women Know Your Limits!"

What a contempable twat of a man. Brought you up to MC indeed! Kick him to the kerb and your life will be instantly 100 times better!

When you leave you can say you have thought about what he said about knowing your place and it's not with him.

I can't believe what I've just read.
Unfortunately some men are like this.
You don't have to put up with it though.

I would actually leave my husband over this. I don't want my DD thinking that's normal!

There is no coming back from this, and as far as I'm concerned this isn't a marriage, not in the emotional sense. You are not considered an equal and he can't spell it out clearer than he has.

Tbh, I know

it’s very sad to think of my son here in the middle of this.. in past arguments my husband said he would never leave The family home that he reminds me he bought so I guess I would have to.. very unsettling and emotional turmoil for a 5 year old

but yes I’m aware it is heading that way sooner than I imagined

What he says he won't do and what a judge says he has to do may well be two completely different things... Yes, you'll both come out of it poorer, but it's important that your DS doesn't continue to see the utter contempt with which he treats you - because he'll learn that is how men treat women.

Chuck him in the bin

Just because that’s what he decrees from his high horse, doesn’t mean the law will agree with him. It’s a marital asset. See a solicitor.

What he says about the home is irrelevant.

When you are in the right mind go and see a solicitor OP.

He sounds absolutely horrid and modelling really bad relationship dynamics to your son.

He has overplayed his hand this time. What an IDIOT!

What he says about you must be true @Thefirstime , because his mum told him. His thick parents have set him up for a lifetime of loneliness and dissatisfaction.

How sad though. He could have had a happy marriage with a partnership of equals, but instead he would rather view your relationship as Master and Servant.

This is just as infuriating to me as 'cant you keep your woman under control' 😡

This.
I would not stay. Ever.

In all honesty I couldn’t stay with him after that. He’s shown his true colours and what he really thinks. I don’t think any amount of therapy will change that. I’m so sorry.

Finish your studies and get a job, then take the kids and leave.

This. How sad he thinks you are inferior to him. I don't think I could get past this.

Well the therapy is a waste of money.

He can try to stay in the family home, after you get your 50% out of it and anything else, and he pays child maintenance.

If you're the main carer, there might even be an order for you to stay in it, I'm not sure.

You need to consult an excellent family law & divorce solicitor immediately.

As for who bought the house .... Unless he had some type of air tight legal agreement, it's half yours.

How very foolish or him to have gotten married, not very smart for a man who thinks women are beneath him.

As for your job, if you earn little enough to qualify for UC, you get 85% of childcare paid, up to cap.

You need to see how much CM he'll be paying too.

Depends on how many overnights Mr big man takes him for. Only overnights.

Cab is good on benefits.

I don't think you're going to change values like his, I'm sorry.

How to see a divorce lawyer with no means of paying them?

We have a joint account only. I guess I would have to use that.

mum aware the position I have found myself in isn’t ideal and makes me dependent- many lessons learned here