Wear it to Asda

[TheGoodBanana]

Have you ever used the phrase "wow if I looked like that in that dress/bikini/underwear I would wear it to Asda" or similar?

I got a new outfit that I felt absolutely amazing in, big breakthrough for me as I am so critical of my body.

So I was super excited and sent a pic to my DP saying I felt amazing and didn't want to take it off. Then joked I would wear it to ASDA.

It's just a silly phrase and there was clearly no intention of actually wearing it to Asda I was just excited.

Now he is sulking saying I was trying to make him jealous and just wanted to flaunt my self for other people to see.

I genuinely just felt good about myself for once and I think he is being ridiculous and trying to tear down my self esteem to punish me for daring to look good. It's just a silly phrase!

Was I being insensitive and flaunting myself or is DP just having a tantrum because he doesn't want me to feel good about myself.

If that’s normal behaviour for your DP you’d be better off without him.

You are normal. Your partner is an insecure knob.

Your dh is a Dick.

I think he is being ridiculous and trying to tear down my self esteem to punish me for daring to look good

You're right, that is exactly what he's doing.

Wow. Wear it to Asda if you want to, his reaction is way off. To the extent that I'm worried for you. Are you OK?

I thought so, I was fully expecting him to apologise for being so silly today but he's doubling down.

Apparently I treat him horribly and I was trying to make him jealous. It's just a silly phrase I am sure I have said it loads, about other people though. Like a celebrity or something, like wow if I looked like her in that outfit I would never get changed.

Grade A prick. He's trying to keep you insecure so you put up with his shite.
I'm sure your self confidence would soar without his chipping away at it. 💐

Seriously, get out before it gets any worse.

He is an insecure twat. Enjoy your new outfit.

I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'wear it to Asda' (to me that sounds like a bad outfit rather than a good one i.e. it looks so bad that I'd only wear it to Asda).

But regardless, you can wear what you want, when you want, where you want. He's being a prick. I assume there are other things like this that he does too?? This is unlikely to be an isolated incident.

Wanker. Wear it to Asda, Sainsburys and whatever goddamn supermarket you like op!

Don't wear it to Asda if it will upset him. Wear it to Sainsburys. And take a photo of yourself posing seductively under the giant orange letters.

I wear stuff to the tip or to Aldi. Basically anywhere incredibly normal where you'd be at home wearing slobby clothes.

He sounds like a dick

Wtf?

"I was trying to make him jealous and just wanted to flaunt my self for other people to see."

That is such a disturbing sentence to me.

Let.me give an example of how a decent partner would have reacted.

"Hey look at this dress, don't I look great, I love it, I'd wear it to Asda!"
"Wow! You look fantastic! You totally should go to ASDA but I think better still we should go out tonight, somewhere nice so you can show it off. ;)"

Or words to that effect.

Basically, a partner should build you up... not knock you down.

He's making it all about him.

You need to help him understand that not everything you do is for his benefit.

Well done for seeing through him.

I was expecting you to say he made a scathing remark about people who shop at Asda!

But this is ridiculous!

I'm really hoping that's not a serious comment. She doesn't need to 'help' him understand anything. Unless it's by dumping him 😉

I hope for your sake you end this relationship. I find it worrying that you are still justifying what you said.

He is a possessive, angry little man who will fuck your life up if you let him.

Have you been together long and does he say other possessive shit to you?

@GreyCarpet that might do it!

Stop trying to justify and explain yourself. You owe him fuck all.

It isnt about the phrase. It is about the confidence. He doesnt want you to have any.

You’re not his possession.

Hes using emotional manipulation (accusations, sulking) to control how you behave.

This is a HUGE red flag. Don’t ignore.

I am so glad I am not being unreasonable here. I am going through therapy for lots of reasons but low self esteem is one of them.

I had him so high up on a pedestal as perfect and I was always the one in the wrong and not quite good enough so it feels like such a massive step to me that I have spotted his behaviour and been able to call it out without feeling guilty or being sucked into an argument. I usually take responsibility for both of our behaviour but I can actually see that this is his stuff, not mine.

I told him to work on building his own self esteem rather than tearing mine down.

I actually feel like my therapist might cry happy tears

That made me laugh out loud. We don't have a Waitrose in the vicinity but we do have an M & S Foodhall, I can flaunt myself amongst the Percy Pigs.