What has a guy done that instantly made you lose interest?

[LusaBatoosa]

The ones that spring to mind:

• Thought Jordan Peterson 'had some interesting ideas.
• Used 'female' as a noun.
• Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date.
• Really poor spelling and grammar. Not the occasional mistake or lapse (we all make them), practicaly unintelligible messages.
• Said he 'wasn't a reader'
• Was a picky eater.
• Was teetotal.
• Was religious.
• Wore a chain.
• Didn't drink water.

The dating pool has pee in it and, on top of that, I'm fairly unreasonable. I'm very happy I met my husband. 🤣

• Referring to a previous gf as "crazy"
• Becoming aggressive when watching sports
• Rude to waiting staff/ customer service staff
• Driving aggressively
• large collections of stuff like action figures or funko pop thingys (this one is a bit mean of me, but I don't like clutter)
• Dirty hands

Strange list OP, can't help thinking that some blokes would put you on their list of females - 😉- not to date.

Eating with his mouth like a washing machine-didn’t want to see that ever-dumped within 3hours

They mean, ‘I am going to treat you very badly and I do not want to hear a word about it’.

That’s exactly what they mean.

The paying for the first date thing is really tricky to navigate now. As a bloke, I'd not mind doing It/have done It, but It was really the norm for the women I stumbled on whilst doing OLD, admittedly the Guardian was my platform of choice, to insist on us both paying 50/50. I didn't usually fancy generating a needless argument. I took a girl to the Sky Garden in London for a first date, payed the entire bill myself, combined It came to £150, I never heard from her again. Still, a nice afternoon was had. Didn't fancy her sadly!

Small hands
Huffy / moody men
Noisy eaters
Negging
Stingy
”Romantic” - just an excuse for being creepy
🤮

When I was young and inexperienced..
a guy who was stalling taking the date upstairs. Fine, but he’d told me it was his house where he lived alone. He was waiting for his elderly grandmother to fall asleep, she was in bed and it was her house 🙈.
And more recently, a man who just couldn’t write straight on a blackboard advertising his business. The words would veer off a cliff at the end of a line, or cramp up where he’d run out of space and become really tiny. I felt it was some sort of metaphor for his life. 😂Instant ick

I have rejoined Mumsnet after an absence to thank everyone for this thread. The most resonant post for me is the one that answers the query about drama. It is so, so true.

Thanks for the laughter. I do hope those of us still looking find someone compatible.🙂

Wore beige socks. His feet looked dead.

I don’t think you should second guess yourself. If you want to split the bill, do it. If you want to pay the whole thing, do that. As this thread has illustrated, there is no right or wrong way, as women aren’t monolithic. Some would ditch you for not paying (me) and some would write you off for not going 50/50.

You’re trying to find someone on the same page as you, and that’s only going to happen if you’re being your authentic self.

-Treats me like his mother
-Asks me out after the funeral of my first love
-Believes in god

I'd be put off by someone who dismissed whole genres of subjects/topics eg I don't like modern music, history is pointless, don't do politics etc
It's also a fine balance between nothing to say and too opinionated.
Unintelligent with no wish to learn...I don't mean uneducated, I mean thick.
Men who tell you they're a nice guy and always get treated badly.
I also find that men who tell you they can't stand cats because they're sly, users, disloyal etc...I often find they are control freaks, can't stand something/one they can't control.

My 2 worst character traits though are neediness and jealousness.

And they’d be well within their rights. Unlike some posters on this thread, the idea that some people might not want to date me does not upset me. 🤣

was such a cheapskate he used to freeze a sliced loaf of bread and just take out what he needed & defrosted it

-took his own snacks to the cinema

Erm doesn’t everyone do this?!

I also put no drama on my dating profiles because what I mean is if you’re already in a relationship or have trust or mummy issues then I don’t want to deal with you.

Just want to add weight to this, it is so true. I have experienced this and it was terrible. It is well worth making this better known. If you challenge their terrible behaviour, it's drama.

I find this hugely validating. I don't like drama either, but I think that women's definitions and experiences of it often hugely contrast with those of men.

His feet looked dead.

I AM IN TEARS! 😭🤣🤣

Told me that he'd watched a video or read some mentalist article about how suits of armour couldn't possibly fit actual humans and that they'd been made for aliens.

Remarks / comments / innuendos about sex on date one. I lose interest instantly. It somehow makes them come across as desperate for sex and it gives me the ick. (Maybe I'm being a bit irrational!)

I think you’re being completely rational.

@LusaBatoosa , wise comments, thanks. Women aren't monolithic or homogenious, nor are men, so to avoid misunderstandings, best to communicate clearly and establish the preference before the date, probably.

This is wonderful. 🤣

Exactly ...

Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date.

That's pretty audacious

what is wrong with saying 'please may I have/? It's a perfectly well mannered way of ordering and far more polite than 'can I get'

Yes it is a noun. But can also be used adjectively as in "female Prime Minister" . As far as I know.

If they insist on paying for the whole date.. I don't want a man to pay for me, creates imbalance and expectations.
Is a sleaze.. wandering eyes, porn addict, constantly liking randoms photos.. basically a walking horn dog.
No depth to them
Basic chat