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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What has a guy done that instantly made you lose interest?

507 replies

LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 17:14

The ones that spring to mind:

  • Thought Jordan Peterson 'had some interesting ideas.
  • Used 'female' as a noun.
  • Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date.
  • Really poor spelling and grammar. Not the occasional mistake or lapse (we all make them), practicaly unintelligible messages.
  • Said he 'wasn't a reader'
  • Was a picky eater.
  • Was teetotal.
  • Was religious.
  • Wore a chain.
  • Didn't drink water.

The dating pool has pee in it and, on top of that, I'm fairly unreasonable. I'm very happy I met my husband. 🤣

OP posts:
WedRine · 10/09/2023 20:52

I went out with a guy who was the perfect gentleman, then suddenly after 3 months dumped me. I was pretty upset but mostly because I didn't have a reason, just wasn't interested in me. Fair enough. 2 weeks later he texted telling me he missed me, did I want to meet up etc etc. Then he said he'd got a male fwb and he'd like me to come over and watch him cum in my arse 🤮.

harerunner · 10/09/2023 20:56

Slightly edgy comments? The guy believes in conversion camps for gay people

And this is the problem with the woke left... You can't simply disagree with someone, you have to cancel someone completely if anything they say something that doesn't fit with "liberal orthodoxy". The woke left don't see it, but they're intolerance is profoundly illiberal.

harerunner · 10/09/2023 20:58

@LusaBatoosa

That’s nice, dear. Let it all out. 🤣

🤣🤣🤣

DGConsultant · 10/09/2023 21:02

This thread is enlightening. God all mighty, some of these guys are total prats. Obviously extreme examples, but doesn't paint an attractive picture of my gender...

AllOfThemWitches · 10/09/2023 21:03

Been really, really stupid.

WunWun · 10/09/2023 21:03

harerunner · 10/09/2023 20:56

Slightly edgy comments? The guy believes in conversion camps for gay people

And this is the problem with the woke left... You can't simply disagree with someone, you have to cancel someone completely if anything they say something that doesn't fit with "liberal orthodoxy". The woke left don't see it, but they're intolerance is profoundly illiberal.

I'm not the woke left, so your statement makes no sense to me

I've also not said a word about 'cancelling' him. My comment was simply that believing that gay conversion camps are useful isn't an "edgy comment"

Your little fight against the woke left has you reading all sorts that isn't actually there. Not very tolerant yourself are you really?

TortelliniTart · 10/09/2023 21:06

My list is probably very long and picky but I’m happy being single, so whatever. I cringe at all the things I used to overlook/excuse/conceal.

I couldn’t accept:

  • not solvent, not working, not financially secure. Been there done that.
  • Miserable/penny pinching. He needs to be generous. As for paying, like a pp, I will offer - I just don’t expect to be taken up on it. I appreciate this area might be tricky for men to navigate.
  • If he doesn’t like kissing/is not a decent kisser. I like some mild pda like an arm around me sometimes or some holding hands. Not looking for a a brother or priest.
  • Is not clean, has dirty fingernails
  • Dick pic - instant nope
  • as a pp said, calls his parents mummy and daddy. I knew a 56 year old who mentioned his “daddy” in every other text
  • isn’t curious about me
  • Slags off their ex
  • Texts shite like “Morning lol”
  • really poor spelling and no punctuation, so I find it hard to decipher their messages
  • texts for days on end without suggesting/agreeing to ring/meet up instead
  • waits to be pursued/lazy
coxesorangepippin · 10/09/2023 21:06

Stayed over at ex's.

When I got up in the morning, his mother was giving him a foot massage

Front door, bang

H112 · 10/09/2023 21:08
  • Was able to lie directly to my face
  • Liking Elon Musk lol
Bowbobobo · 10/09/2023 21:10

Said something racist

LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 21:11

TortelliniTart · 10/09/2023 21:06

My list is probably very long and picky but I’m happy being single, so whatever. I cringe at all the things I used to overlook/excuse/conceal.

I couldn’t accept:

  • not solvent, not working, not financially secure. Been there done that.
  • Miserable/penny pinching. He needs to be generous. As for paying, like a pp, I will offer - I just don’t expect to be taken up on it. I appreciate this area might be tricky for men to navigate.
  • If he doesn’t like kissing/is not a decent kisser. I like some mild pda like an arm around me sometimes or some holding hands. Not looking for a a brother or priest.
  • Is not clean, has dirty fingernails
  • Dick pic - instant nope
  • as a pp said, calls his parents mummy and daddy. I knew a 56 year old who mentioned his “daddy” in every other text
  • isn’t curious about me
  • Slags off their ex
  • Texts shite like “Morning lol”
  • really poor spelling and no punctuation, so I find it hard to decipher their messages
  • texts for days on end without suggesting/agreeing to ring/meet up instead
  • waits to be pursued/lazy

Solid list!

OP posts:
LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 21:11

coxesorangepippin · 10/09/2023 21:06

Stayed over at ex's.

When I got up in the morning, his mother was giving him a foot massage

Front door, bang

🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
GoryBory · 10/09/2023 21:13

Tracker1234 · 10/09/2023 20:24

I have my tin hat on but really some of these are very picky. No wonder some women are still single. So everything is fine with new person bar he doesn’t drink. We have enough issues with alcohol without excluding people who don’t partake without excluding them

Do you mean hard hat? 🤣🤣

I agree though some are so picky and quite silly.

Not reading, not paying for the first date, using female as a noun etc are not things to judge whether someone is a good person or not.

Obviously people can choose who they want to but I think some people have odd priorities.

menopausalbloat · 10/09/2023 21:13

Religious or a Tory would be massive deal breakers.

Lookingoutside · 10/09/2023 21:17

Phos · 10/09/2023 19:58

Why is using female as a noun a bad thing?

Also Jordan Peterson does have some interesting ideas.

I think posts like this are all the same guy.

The desperation 😂

Walesagogo · 10/09/2023 21:17

First date with a guy years ago who have me a hug by sorting of rubbing my back sort of awkwardly, difficult to explain really, just gave me the ick. Also, I went to the pub toilet and said I was going to leave my bag on the seat, thinking he would keep an eye on it, when I returned, he had gone to the mens and left my bag on the seat. No common sense so that was it.

Whisperingangel1 · 10/09/2023 21:17
  • told me he was going to write me a love letter but couldn't spell so didn't
  • was such a cheapskate he used to freeze a sliced loaf of bread and just take out what he needed & defrosted it
-took his own snacks to the cinema -went to get video from the video shop (long time ago) forgot his video card and did the whole "don't you know who I am"
Whisperingangel1 · 10/09/2023 21:18

Also.
-Been floppy, taken viagra and still floppy.

Dahlia82 · 10/09/2023 21:18

Pissed in my sink

FreebieWallopFridge · 10/09/2023 21:18

Told me, that as a woman, I’m not best placed to understand women’s motivations towards men

A deep knowledge of home air conditioning units and was willing to talk about the subject. In depth.

Insisted on repeatedly asking a practicing Muslim his favourite beer and a Hindu where the best steak restaurant was.

Querypost · 10/09/2023 21:19

Not paying half for the first date? I thought women wanted equality? A woman who wasn't prepared to split the bill seems like a freeloader to me. Men could rightly assume that a woman has 2/3 dates lined up each week and is only going on each first date for a free dinner! What a complete scab.

HarrietJet · 10/09/2023 21:19

Whisperingangel1 · 10/09/2023 21:17

  • told me he was going to write me a love letter but couldn't spell so didn't
  • was such a cheapskate he used to freeze a sliced loaf of bread and just take out what he needed & defrosted it
-took his own snacks to the cinema -went to get video from the video shop (long time ago) forgot his video card and did the whole "don't you know who I am"

Who was he? 😂

Privatelyliving · 10/09/2023 21:20

Whisperingangel1 · 10/09/2023 21:17

  • told me he was going to write me a love letter but couldn't spell so didn't
  • was such a cheapskate he used to freeze a sliced loaf of bread and just take out what he needed & defrosted it
-took his own snacks to the cinema -went to get video from the video shop (long time ago) forgot his video card and did the whole "don't you know who I am"

The snacks and the bread makes perfect sense to me 😆

LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 21:20

Dahlia82 · 10/09/2023 21:18

Pissed in my sink

Some of these are wonderful! 🤣

OP posts:
LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 21:21

A deep knowledge of home air conditioning units and was willing to talk about the subject. In depth.

This one may be my favourite.

OP posts: