What has a guy done that instantly made you lose interest?

[LusaBatoosa]

The ones that spring to mind:

• Thought Jordan Peterson 'had some interesting ideas.
• Used 'female' as a noun.
• Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date.
• Really poor spelling and grammar. Not the occasional mistake or lapse (we all make them), practicaly unintelligible messages.
• Said he 'wasn't a reader'
• Was a picky eater.
• Was teetotal.
• Was religious.
• Wore a chain.
• Didn't drink water.

The dating pool has pee in it and, on top of that, I'm fairly unreasonable. I'm very happy I met my husband. 🤣

It’s just not very fashionable. Very suburban. Makes me think of Miami Vice. Or 90’s soccer moms. And nobody actually looks good in them, imo.

BINGO! 😆 Someone ALWAYS says this. 😂

It's always the '1950s' ... never the 1960s, or 1930s, or 1940s, or 1920s, ALWAYS the 1950s. And every time someone says it, they say it with such utter vigour, and think they're the first to say it!!! LMFAO! 😆

NO, it's NOT the 1950s. Back then, women did all the housework, and childcare, and looked after elderly and infirm family members, and did the cooking, and the shopping, and the life admin, and took on all the mental load. Not only did they look after the children most of the time, they were also called upon for anything to do with their children - medical appointments, school issues, hospital appointments, hobby clubs etc... These women often put themselves last, and put any hobbies or friends or nights out they desired, on the backburner... for some years...................

HOWEVER... They did not have to go out to work. Men brought in enough income to provide for the family.

In 2023. Most women still do all of the above ! But IN ADDITION TO ALL THAT... many woman have to go out to work, and often do 24-40 hours (or more) a week in the workplace, having to achieve goals and targets, and having to give an A+ performance in their job, and often have to go on training courses, and get better at their job every day, and only a few weeks off allowed every year,

Some people may argue that 'The 1950s' were better in many ways for women.

I am sure someone will come along now with a list of reasons why it wasn't yawn.... but the fact is that women were not expected to WORK, as well as do every fucking thing else, like they are now!!! Whilst the man's life doesn't change a single jot after marriage and kids!

But you haven’t, you’re digging into others’ business here.

I understand if you’re of limited earning ability that you wanted to screen for men who could support you, but surely you understand that that’s not the case for everyone.

You think men’s life doesn’t change after getting married and having children?

How bizarre.

Not everyone only wears what’s in fashion at that moment though, lots of people like to have their own style and not just copy everyone else.

And I think lots of people look good in them.
As I said up thread, I saw a woman in Asda who looked incredible and it reminded me how much I love white jeans and how good they look.

Of course not everyone can pull them off but I guess that’s like most clothes.
I can’t wear wide jeans as they just don’t look good on me.

You've just made the exact point that others have been trying to make to you.

You said she only took 6 and 4 months' maternity leave respectively and it 'didn't hold back her career at all' and then went on to say that if she had taken the full amount of maternity leave she was entitled to it would have taken her twice as long to make partner. In other words, taking time off to have children would have meant SHE TOOK A CAREER HIT. Because that's what, in most cases, happens to women when they have children (necessary for both men and women, ie furtherance of the human race.....) - unless they take vastly less time off than is standard and I would argue necessary (to recover from growing a human, and as initial primary care giver) AND are in a, presumably by your mention of being a partner and earnings, in a very well paying job, so that they can afford LOTS of outsourced domestic help, then they take a career hit. They woman takes the career hit, not the man (assuming a heterosexual relationship).

@LusaBatoosa it was a long time ago and I can't remember his initials, but lemon and water is giving me a disturbing sense of deja vu! 🤣🤣🤣

@GoryBory Hey if they always have a beard then that accurately represents what they always look like maybe- though I suppose a weak/double chin can be more obvious under the beard in person.

I hear you, OP.
It's about preferences, and we all have them. Yours seem perfectly sensible. And pragmatic.
Very funny thread, btw (apart from it being derailed by all the frothing and breast-beating about going Dutch).

As regards white jeans- the person was talking specifically about blokes, not women.

I can see that white jeans/trousers on a man might be a bit cringe as it's quite dressy and not conventionally masculine.

Like one I had that wore a suit or shirt (maybe both?) with sprigs of flowers all over them. He obviously thought he looked really impressive, but I was cringing.

I did meet a man who thought he was too good for gaming and didn’t like people who game, which I do as he thought it made them seem stupid and so I guess it’s a similar thing.

For me it's not the same thing at all. Nowhere by the way did I say (and I don't believe anyone else did either) that I judge intelligence by the number of books someone has read. I did say that not reading anything (which could include newspapers, magazines, articles in journals, blogs, essays etc) to me implies a lack of curiosity about the world and other people, and that's why for me it's a turn off. We learn about the world and other people a) through doing / seeing / speaking to people first hand, but that naturally limits the extent of that learning, and so b) in a secondary way but with the ability for it to be more extensive, through reading. THAT is why not reading anything at all, for me implies not much going on up top / lack of curiosity. No one has the time in life to experience everything first hand, but we can learn about all sorts of things which we would otherwise not experience through reading (fiction and non fiction, articles, essays etc etc).

I'm NOT therefore saying I judge someone on the number of books they read (really odd btw that you would single out that you read thrillers / name one specific book you read) / on the type of books they read / or that I think gaming (or any other hobby at all) means someone is less intelligent. I'm explaining why I (and many people) find not reading anything at all, a turn off.

I had a lunchtime date with a guy in a casual cafe/bar and he turned up in a 3 piece suit, tie and even a handkerchief in his top pocket.

Now I’m all for making the effort but this was a bit cringe.

And on the same theme as beards, I’ve met a guy who was wearing a hat on the night. When he turned up gif a date he wasn’t wearing it and looked like a completely different man - and not in a good way!

We call it being Hatfished

He asked me why my marriage didn't work. It's no one else's business least of all some guy I hadn't even met.

he turned up in a 3 piece suit, tie and even a handkerchief in his top pocket.

@SamW98 Mine maybe had that too lol. Was your one in the Midlands or Warwickshire or somewhere round there? He was also into Freud or something (just to help you identify if it is the same guy.)

Really? Where have I dug into anyone’s business? I’m here for funny dating stories. I haven’t requested justifications or background.

And I really don’t care what the case is with everyone. As I’ve stated repeatedly, you can do what you want.

Thank you. It worked for me. 😁 And the breast beating about how someone else chooses to date is odd to me, but I suppose it is MN!

Anyway, there are some crackers on here! Super funny tales. Glad I started it.

I went on a first date with a grown man in his 20s. He brought a cuddly toy penguin with him and told me he lends him to his friends to get his photo taken all over the world… bit odd but ok..
After the date, I found the penguin had his own Facebook page where he would post daily what the penguin was up to. Using the wrong spellings as he was posting as the penguin. Things like “today I had some fish and chips. How exciting”

There was no further contact after finding that!

I know a guy (not a date, I used to work with him), who had a similar schtick with a cardboard box. He thought it the final thing in postmodern wit.

My dp doesn’t read and it does impact me more than I thought it would. We tend to spend the evenings doing something together (watching a film or boxset, playing a game etc) so that means I can’t read in the evenings. If I try to read around him he’s constantly interrupting me so I don’t get to lose myself in the book. He finds it rude/offensive if I just want to be left alone to read. He doesn’t see it as a worthwhile way to spend time so if I spend time reading I’m “sat around doing nothing” whereas if he’s doing one of his hobbies then he’s doing something with his time because his hobbies are more active. We go on holiday with friends quite a lot and if I want to read then he says I’m being antisocial…

I had one ex boyfriend who was a reader and we used to spend weekend afternoons curled up together reading in silence. It was lovely. Pre children obviously!

On the flip side another ex read but only read non fiction, classics, and ‘heavy’ literature and he used to sneer at me reading anything more low brow (which I mainly do because I read to relax mostly). So being a reader isn’t always good!

Very. In fact not letting a woman pay half sounds like something Peterson or Tate would support

You asked why people don’t like them. You’ve been given some reasons. You aren’t required to agree. Wear your white jeans with pride. Some people will think you look a frump, but if you don’t care that’s fine.

It’s weird that some of you care and have chosen to fixate on that as opposed to what the post is asking. Nobody is stopping you from paying for yourself.

Is your DP delightful in other ways? As that’s pretty unpleasant.

I met a guy OLD and went (rather stupidly, really) to his house. I only got part-way down his hall before he leapt on me, saying "yum, yum, yum". I left after an hour and I spent 58 minutes of that working out how to leave.