Amber heard Johnny depp

[Chéri44]

I’ve just started watching this on Netflix. Is anyone else watching it ? Thoughts ?

Well said.

No, her biggest crime was punching him. She admitted to hitting him and then called him a baby for complaining about that.

This is what I meant by not being the “perfect victim”.

If you don’t understand the concept, educate yourself.

He wasn't the perfect victim. He was an alcoholic, drug addict, and also a man .

The only evidence of abuse was her abusing him.

The issue here is most people have decided there must be a goodie and a baddie

There is though. In an abusive dynamic there is a baddie - they're calling the shots. Part of that is that they make the other person look crazy for reacting.

I've seen it so many times where people in relationships with abusive people react and people say "they're both as bad as each other"

You are just completely wrong.
It's clear you are internally wired to believe that only men can be abusive.

I work in this area and guess what, woman can be actively abusive too!
And not reactive abuse.

Heard is a textbook cluster B personality , in fact a malignant narcissist and as @Lightme had brilliantly described, shows very specific behaviours that female abusers employ against men. Following, provoking, prodding, pushing and then threatening to disgrace the man as the real abuser.

Yes it is much more common for men to be the abuser but where it is the woman , it's important to call it out. The trial absolutely made it clear what AH is and that was without the most damaging recordings being admissible.

Bravo @scandium

Lots of people can't get past the idea of the female victim.

Their story is absolutely classic abuse.

Love bomb
Gain trust
Start a cycle of worship and devalue
Then they try and destroy the victim

Like you I've seen this up close and personal and watched grown men sobbing.

Women can be absolutely prolific abusers and Heard struck me as an absolutely classic case.

Whatever his many faults, this would have had a profound psychological effect and I'm glad he fought back as she clearly didn't think he'd have the guts

You think it is an abusive dynamic/relationship . I think it's a toxic dynamic/relationship. They're different.

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus

Well I don't think. I saw with my own eyes. Love bombing, manipulation, guilt, fear, threats, coercion, intimidation, ridiculing, controlling, screaming, hitting....

Those things are domestic abuse.

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus

I agree, which is why I said that sort of behaviour is messed up and when you need to leave - if you think people who display reactive abuse are “emotionally incontinent” though, you’ve clearly not experienced psychological and emotional abuse, even under normal interactions and circumstances people fail to properly regulate, nevermind when someone is intentionally bombarding your ability to do so until it buckles.

In any case, yes I think they’re both abusive, in different ways.

As someone who has experienced addiction, and also had run ins with manipulative and narcissistic people, I know first-hand how easily people with addiction can be gaslighted. Its hard to defend yourself when you don't even trust your own memories, and Amber Heard was well aware of this when she brought Depp to court, having grown up around addicts herself. She shows all the signs of Histrionic Personality Disorder. Its all "me me me", those kinds of people never take responsibility for their own problems, its always someone else's fault, and having it all come out during the "Me Too/I believe her" charade, she obviously thought she was going to win regardless of evidence. In the end, Johnny's team were on the ball, they cross examined expertly and he kept his cool throughout. She got what she deserved, to be ousted as the manipulative succubus she is.

@GR8GAL agree completely

Heard was without a doubt the abuser in this and that isn't because the court of public opinion says so, it's because on the numerous recordings made she pushes him constantly. He tries to reason with her and can't. She insults him, she continues pushing him, she puts him down and she basically will not leave him alone.

He warned her what would happen if she carried out her threats and he told her how it would go down, he settled with her post divorce, it wasn't enough though she carried on and wrote the op ed because for people like that it's not enough to just walk away.

You can hear her admitting she punched him
TMZ basically admitted she gave them footage that she took of him slamming cupboard doors (which she filmed deliberately).
She lied about being raped with a broken bottle ffs
There were photos of her with marks on her face that magically disappeared
She was out laughing and joking with her friends the day after

I'm sorry but Depp may not be perfect but he wasn't the abuser here, he is a guy with drug issues and yes he said some pretty shitty things. She made his life hell, she took over his homes, she abused his resources and she wanted him for a status symbol not because she loved him. He was removing himself from her presence, not the other way around.

PS - Mutual abuse doesn't exist. Do your research.

I believe he loved her, in the sense that all love bombed people "love". He was led to believe he'd found a soul mate: she liked what he liked, she worshipped him. His own weaknesses and lack of integrity notwithstanding, he was played like a fiddle.

I agree, and this is typical narc behaviour. The love bombing and the 'liking what he liked' - it's that completely fake, trying to be what she thinks he wants her to be, no actual fixed/stable personality, typical chameleon behaviour that really screams narc at me.

Holy SHIT, this thread.

How horrifying that you honestly think a woman half his age, with no physical or financial power or influence, somehow abused a wealthy bloke in full front of his security teams.

Fuck me.

Awful. Hiding this thread now.

Go read some Lundy Bancroft.

Yes absolutely agree!

Thank you.

Has no-one read the court judgement from the London trial?
It finds JD to be guilty of 12 counts (I think) of domestic abuse.

It's interesting reading, but you won't like it if you're a big JD fan, or an AH hater.

im not going to watch it because one round of watching these two people fight was enough

however, i do think that Depp was an "imperfect victim". In his own right he is not very sympathetic - a cheater, liar, into drugs and addicted to alcohol, more than capable of reactive abuse and definitely someone would would run his mouth when annoyed.

in other words - he is someone who is not easily believed when being abused. Even when recording of her saying as much emerged, there are still people who think that she couldn't abuse him because she's younger or less powerful in terms of Hollywood influence. as if this meant much behind the closed door when she held ALL the power of being younger, less influential, statistically more likely to be abused due to her gender and having the cleaner image of the two.

the one thing that got her was that she probably wasn't prepared for him to air all the dirty laundry, including his own shortcomings. you cannot continuously blackmail someone with exposing how bad of a person they are if they admit to being a bad person and then point the finger at you and say "but you still abused me".

This is exactly what I think, perfect summary.

The divisiveness of this issue and the twisting of JD into poor misunderstood victim leaves me feeling sick.

From what little I saw of the court videos he came across as a vile smug misogynist. I know too many men like that to feel any sympathy at all for him.

Like someone else pointed out, he held all the power in this relationship.

I agree

Physical size
Stature
Wealth
Power

Does not make you an abuser. Anyone can be abused by anyone.

People have a mental block here because she's a small woman who wasn't very famous.

It's a bit like this nurse who was a psychopath with the babies- People can't accept the obvious because of pre-concieved notions.

Abuse cases come in all sizes, shapes and flavours. What is always present is:

Love-boming and idealisation
Earning trust after a very swift relationship
Slowly bringing in a cycle of abuse, which can involve any one of these: criticism, manipulation, threats, violence, mind games, gaslighting, fear, guilt, DARVO
And typically ends with the abuser playing the victim and trying to make themselves look like the injured one.

I've rarely seen a more classic case of abuse, and Depp, whilst an unsympathetic victim, with his drugs, alcohol and violence of his own might be many terrible things; but he's also a victim of quite extreme psychological, emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Amber Heard.

If you think someone being physically smaller makes a difference, you don't understand abuse AT ALL. I know a real life case where the woman would stand there physically punching herself in the face and then text the man photos of herself saying she was going to the police.

I'd imagine a chopped off finger and a few black eyes is the easy part for Depp. The manipulation and psychological warfare on an (while unsympathetic) clearly vulnerable addict is probably severe.

She belongs in jail. And were she a man she would probably be. I'm very glad we've criminalised things like coercive control. It's a shame we are so sexist in our ability to see things though!

I've had a read through the description of instances of his apparent violence.

Now, I can absolutely believe that someone drunk and high can be violent...which seems to be true for both of them for at least part of those instances.

Do I believe Depp slapped her? Absolutely. Do I think she stood there without lifting a finger or raising her voice at him? No. Especially since she has a history of being abusive to other people

Ugh as curious as I am I don’t think I can facie watching it
such unpleasant vibes overall

im in the ‘both are messed up ‘ camp too

I can't find this on Netflix. What is it called?