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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To not go on another date because of his car..

283 replies

bluebellmountain · 01/09/2023 20:46

Met a guy OLD, we have been on 4 dates, twice we've met in public, once I picked him up to go out to eat and once I have been to his house. He seemed a great guy, we hit it off pretty quickly, I feel comfortable around him, he seems genuine and kind. Own house, good job etc.

I was out after work this evening to say goodbye to a colleague moving on, so id got a lift to work and was planning on getting a taxi home. This guy text to ask how I was etc and turns out he was nearby and heading to the gym so offered to drop me home, I was excited to see him so agreed.

He arrives to pick me up and my heart sank, his car was fine, a mondeo, pretty standard car but it had been modified to make that stupid noise when you accelerate, you know the kind of boy racer unnecessarily loud car. I got in and said wow that's rather noisy and he gave me some explanation as to what had been done to the car, how much it cost etc.. and it's really really put me off him.

I'm 35, he's 38, surly we're far too old to be driving round in a car like that. I was actually embarrassed to be in the car with everyone looking at every bang it made.

Am I an awful person, should I look past this? He was being nice and doing me a favour and all I could think of was getting out of there! Would this put you off someone who, granted I don't know well, but seems to be pretty good in every other area.

OP posts:
Notmytotoro · 02/09/2023 16:06

That'd be a no from me

Katmai · 02/09/2023 16:09

It is tragic.

Yep. 😂

DatingDinosaur · 02/09/2023 17:25

@RealisticGuy As Oliotya says, it's a Mondeo, not a performance car. It's a Mondeo that's been modded to sound as if it's a performance car. The modding, in this case, won't have improved performance.

AutumnCrow · 02/09/2023 17:36

WhoopsyDaisySugar · 02/09/2023 14:13

Ear plugs will not remove the embarrassment 😂

Maybe she could modify them? I'm sure that souped-up earplugs could be all the rage.

bluebellmountain · 02/09/2023 18:51

Well I'm almost ready to leave to meet him for dinner, he wanted to pick me up, but I insisted we meet at the restaurant as I'm not getting in that car. He asked why so I told him, he can't come to my house in that car, all my neighbours are old, it's a very quiet area and they'd all disapprove. He asked why that mattered and I said we could discuss it later!

OP posts:
RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 19:18

DatingDinosaur · 02/09/2023 17:25

@RealisticGuy As Oliotya says, it's a Mondeo, not a performance car. It's a Mondeo that's been modded to sound as if it's a performance car. The modding, in this case, won't have improved performance.

I’ll say this one last time. There are performance versions of Mondeo’s. If he has put a remap and exhaust on it, it will significantly improve that performance. You can disagree with this as much as you like, but it is fact. You are being told this from experience not just a random idea.

He maybe wanted to further improve that, as it’s his hobby.

You might not understand the logic of that in any way, however it is a completely legitimate hobby that is a huge industry across the world. Just because you don’t enderstand something, doesn’t take the merit away from it

hattie43 · 02/09/2023 19:20

It's a No from me . Very anti social . Our area is plagued by them and tensions are running high

beatrix1234 · 02/09/2023 19:37

bluebellmountain · 02/09/2023 18:51

Well I'm almost ready to leave to meet him for dinner, he wanted to pick me up, but I insisted we meet at the restaurant as I'm not getting in that car. He asked why so I told him, he can't come to my house in that car, all my neighbours are old, it's a very quiet area and they'd all disapprove. He asked why that mattered and I said we could discuss it later!

Why it mattered that you don't want to disturb your neighbours because they're old? 🙄Sharpest tool in the shed he's not I think.

Please we want to know how the date went 😆

lookingforMolly · 02/09/2023 19:38

It wouldn't bother me but then I know people with modified cars who are the wrong side of 25; my dad was a mechanic in his youth so I know quite a bit about cars & engines boringly.. and I hate that I can't drive due to epilepsy so I think any car is better than getting on one of the unreliable local buses!!

Oliotya · 02/09/2023 19:39

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 19:18

I’ll say this one last time. There are performance versions of Mondeo’s. If he has put a remap and exhaust on it, it will significantly improve that performance. You can disagree with this as much as you like, but it is fact. You are being told this from experience not just a random idea.

He maybe wanted to further improve that, as it’s his hobby.

You might not understand the logic of that in any way, however it is a completely legitimate hobby that is a huge industry across the world. Just because you don’t enderstand something, doesn’t take the merit away from it

Edited

Seriously, we understand perfectly well. Obnoxious people impose their obnoxious "hobbies" on everyone else. We get it.
Nobody ever needs a "performance mondeo." It's not a real thing. What's it going to do, accelerate slightly faster within the speed limit to the next traffic lights? With the added bonus of waking all your neighbors up so they too get to indulge in your oh so meritous hobby. Fabulous.
Utterly obnoxious and totally pointless. Save for the fact that it communicates very clearly that he is, in fact, a selfish prick.

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 19:40

There really are some truly horrible, angry people on here 😂

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/09/2023 19:45

JaneIntheBox · 02/09/2023 11:26

@PyongyangKipperbang Interesting. I agree band says a lot about a person but I don't think restaurant and cuisine have much to do with it.

I once went out with someone who's idea of a fancy place for dinner was Nandos. I have nothing against Nando's, in fact my sister and I eat there a lot as thanks to our very different dietary restrictions its one of the few places we can both eat! But its not a place I would choose for special birthday meal for example, but it really was his. Turned out he was a very boring, stuck in his rut, person. I never found out but he struck me as the sort that would have the same meal on a set day each week a la Shirley Valentine.
Well I found him boring, I am sure that someone didnt agree as he is now happily married (weirdly he ended up living next door to my IL's!).

beatrix1234 · 02/09/2023 19:48

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 19:18

I’ll say this one last time. There are performance versions of Mondeo’s. If he has put a remap and exhaust on it, it will significantly improve that performance. You can disagree with this as much as you like, but it is fact. You are being told this from experience not just a random idea.

He maybe wanted to further improve that, as it’s his hobby.

You might not understand the logic of that in any way, however it is a completely legitimate hobby that is a huge industry across the world. Just because you don’t enderstand something, doesn’t take the merit away from it

Edited

I don't think anyone here has a problem with hobbies, custom made cars or bikes is a big thing and that's totally ok. My hobby is mountain climbing and no one cares. The problem is when you become a nuisance to the public thinking that driving around with some machine that makes a huge BBRRRROOOOOOOOMMM!!!!! noise scaring children and old people and thinking it's "cool". And you're not 14. Concerning to say the least.

DatingDinosaur · 02/09/2023 20:00

@RealisticGuy Thanks. That’s me told.

All your facts, figures and explanations about improving performance doesn’t alter the fact they are noisy and anti-social. And probably break legal decibel limits. But there you go. So long as you can justify in your mind why they’re not a public nuisance, that’s fine.

My opinion of the god-awful racket they make remains unchanged. My opinion of the people who mod them and drive them around just got lower.

@bluebellmountain You must come back and let us know how that conversation went. Hope you have a lovely evening.

Gothambutnotahamster · 02/09/2023 20:23

Hard no from me Op as the car would give me the ick!

How did tonight go?

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/09/2023 20:25

Oliotya · 02/09/2023 19:39

Seriously, we understand perfectly well. Obnoxious people impose their obnoxious "hobbies" on everyone else. We get it.
Nobody ever needs a "performance mondeo." It's not a real thing. What's it going to do, accelerate slightly faster within the speed limit to the next traffic lights? With the added bonus of waking all your neighbors up so they too get to indulge in your oh so meritous hobby. Fabulous.
Utterly obnoxious and totally pointless. Save for the fact that it communicates very clearly that he is, in fact, a selfish prick.

Exactly this.

Mummy08m · 02/09/2023 20:37

bluebellmountain · 02/09/2023 18:51

Well I'm almost ready to leave to meet him for dinner, he wanted to pick me up, but I insisted we meet at the restaurant as I'm not getting in that car. He asked why so I told him, he can't come to my house in that car, all my neighbours are old, it's a very quiet area and they'd all disapprove. He asked why that mattered and I said we could discuss it later!

Wow he literally has no comprehension of the fact that most people like to enjoy peace and quiet in their homes of an evening. No empathy or imagination.

As for the commenter who keeps coming back to educate us about cars' "performance"... words fail me. What possible difference in smoothness or duration of journey could these "performance enhancements" make on a 10min journey with 30mph limits? Why are you not factoring into your calculations the real distress you cause to people in the neighbourhood with your noise?!

Aquamarine1029 · 02/09/2023 20:45

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 19:18

I’ll say this one last time. There are performance versions of Mondeo’s. If he has put a remap and exhaust on it, it will significantly improve that performance. You can disagree with this as much as you like, but it is fact. You are being told this from experience not just a random idea.

He maybe wanted to further improve that, as it’s his hobby.

You might not understand the logic of that in any way, however it is a completely legitimate hobby that is a huge industry across the world. Just because you don’t enderstand something, doesn’t take the merit away from it

Edited

We'll say one last time we couldn't give a fuck about a "performance Mondeo", and two fucks wouldn't be given that it improves said performance. We understand perfectly that some people have a love affair with cars and that certain mods benefit the car's performance. That is not the issue, which you are so clearly not grasping.

You are being told this from experience not just a random idea.

Do you fancy yourself a bloody PSA? Honestly, you're laughable.

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 21:02

ah who cares really 😂 maybe I’ll start mouthing at people when their happy kids make a racket and ruin everyone around them’s meals.

Think that’s me done with MN 😂

Whataretalkingabout · 02/09/2023 21:09

@RealisticGuy is still trying to mansplain his way out of here but is just digging himself deeper and deeper into his shit. Why don't you give up when you're behind?

DatingDinosaur · 02/09/2023 21:15

@RealisticGuy Bye then.

Nice flounce by the way.

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 02/09/2023 21:18

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 21:02

ah who cares really 😂 maybe I’ll start mouthing at people when their happy kids make a racket and ruin everyone around them’s meals.

Think that’s me done with MN 😂

Good luck with that. Cant see it ending well though

User13865890 · 02/09/2023 21:24

It doesn't sound like you are suited to each other, that is the problem with OLD, hope you enjoy your meal anyway, then maybe move on

beatrix1234 · 02/09/2023 21:46

This is not an airport, no need to announce ones departure.

JaneIntheBox · 02/09/2023 21:54

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/09/2023 19:45

I once went out with someone who's idea of a fancy place for dinner was Nandos. I have nothing against Nando's, in fact my sister and I eat there a lot as thanks to our very different dietary restrictions its one of the few places we can both eat! But its not a place I would choose for special birthday meal for example, but it really was his. Turned out he was a very boring, stuck in his rut, person. I never found out but he struck me as the sort that would have the same meal on a set day each week a la Shirley Valentine.
Well I found him boring, I am sure that someone didnt agree as he is now happily married (weirdly he ended up living next door to my IL's!).

I know quite a few people who don't really go out to eat and would probably suggest Nando's or some other chain for a special meal. They just don't care about food. But they're always on the go doing new and exciting things in their area of interests.. whether it's mountain climbing or exotic travels!
Even band, now that I think about it... maybe some people just aren't into music.
If that stuff is important to you though those are probably good questions to ask.

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