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Original poster

To not go on another date because of his car..

283 replies

bluebellmountain · 01/09/2023 20:46

Met a guy OLD, we have been on 4 dates, twice we've met in public, once I picked him up to go out to eat and once I have been to his house. He seemed a great guy, we hit it off pretty quickly, I feel comfortable around him, he seems genuine and kind. Own house, good job etc.

I was out after work this evening to say goodbye to a colleague moving on, so id got a lift to work and was planning on getting a taxi home. This guy text to ask how I was etc and turns out he was nearby and heading to the gym so offered to drop me home, I was excited to see him so agreed.

He arrives to pick me up and my heart sank, his car was fine, a mondeo, pretty standard car but it had been modified to make that stupid noise when you accelerate, you know the kind of boy racer unnecessarily loud car. I got in and said wow that's rather noisy and he gave me some explanation as to what had been done to the car, how much it cost etc.. and it's really really put me off him.

I'm 35, he's 38, surly we're far too old to be driving round in a car like that. I was actually embarrassed to be in the car with everyone looking at every bang it made.

Am I an awful person, should I look past this? He was being nice and doing me a favour and all I could think of was getting out of there! Would this put you off someone who, granted I don't know well, but seems to be pretty good in every other area.

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 02/09/2023 08:02

Maybe it's his 'hobby' weekend car?

If so, I wouldn't have too much of an issue with it. It makes a pleasant change from cycling and golf 'hobbies'.

MiraculousLadybird · 02/09/2023 08:02

Shoes don't concern me. I'm not sure how I would discern their character from shoes as long as they were relatively inoffensive.

Ultimately it's their character rather than their tastes that defines someone and those loud twatty engines define someone's character as attention seeking and not giving a shit about impacting others. Not sure shoes do the same?

Newnamehiwhodis · 02/09/2023 08:03

Ew no. It speaks to some need for attention. I’d be done immediately.

Oliotya · 02/09/2023 08:12

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 00:54

As a car enthusiast I feel the need to defend this guy. Particularly when, with the greatest of respect, none of you know what you are actually talking about.

His “Mondeo” could be a 2.5T variant and the exhaust is actually adding to its performance. It would be quite a rare car, one which an enthusiast would appreciate. I doubt he has done it for the sole purpose of grabbing peoples attention.

Im lucky that I own a vast array of cars from an EV for my day to day to Porsches, Ferraris, classic cars and a few other cars that many of you would probably see it as an attention seeking car.

Everyone of my cars I have worked my ass off for. I don’t own them because of what other people think, I own them because they bring me joy. I have met life long friends through, they have been great investments usually too. I enjoy modifying and tinkering with them and they look great to me and that’s all that matters.

They are actually one of the great motivators I had in life to do well, so I could afford to own them and some of the cars I own now are cars I lusted after as a teenager, dreaming that one day I could get my hands on one.

I earn triple figures a year, happily married, self made and very much ambitious. It’s a hobby that only adults can participate in and afford. I can assure you I am a perfectly normal (or as normal as anyone can be, the definition of that may vary from person to person).

My wife isn’t a fan of them all, a few I know she is a little embarrassed of, but she is happy that it brings me so much joy.

So maybe give this guy a chance, rather than deciding his motivations for doing so, maybe take a little interest in what he is passionate about and you might understand it a little better.

A loud car is no more inconsiderate than those cycling clubs blocking up the roads or horses doing the same. A minor inconvenience that’s no big deal really.

At last. A man is here to explain why we're wrong. Finally.

Dahlia57 · 02/09/2023 08:15

I'd give it a bit longer. He sounds good in all other ways. You might be throwing away someone who will make you happy because of the modifications he's made to his car.

Yettisrus29 · 02/09/2023 08:28

Oliotya · 02/09/2023 08:12

At last. A man is here to explain why we're wrong. Finally.

Show quote history

I know nothing like a bit of sexism. I love cars, I think of a Mondeo as a salesman car though. I do like a Ford Mustang, McLaren and the Jaguar F-type. A friend has a Lamborghini so it's not even about thinking they're flashy or showing off.

A Mondeo is a fairly boring car.

RumNotRun · 02/09/2023 08:32

IMHO there's a big difference between full sports exhausts that either come fitted on the car (like with the Subaru a pp mentioned) or are fitted afterwards, Vs the noisy exhaust pipe and cherry pop sound which have no effect on the car's performance and are just there to make noise.

The full sports exhaust wouldn't bother me as I don't mind the sound but the cherry pop loud bang type exhaust is just irritating.

bigalt · 02/09/2023 08:32

At the end of the day the advice is that if that gives you the ick the relationship isn't going to blossom so don't kid yourself and move on.

HOWEVER what's all the hate on this feed?

Some people love cars. It's their passion. It's my motivation to get up every morning to work hard to afford (some noisy but unmodified) cars. Every time you judge someone maybe just consider that's their reason to still be grafting along each day.

Crossinsomekindaline · 02/09/2023 08:40

"RealisticGuy · Today 00:54

As a car enthusiast I feel the need to defend this guy. Particularly when, with the greatest of respect, none of you know what you are actually talking about.

His “Mondeo” could be a 2.5T variant and the exhaust is actually adding to its performance. It would be quite a rare car, one which an enthusiast would appreciate. I doubt he has done it for the sole purpose of grabbing peoples attention.

Im lucky that I own a vast array of cars from an EV for my day to day to Porsches, Ferraris, classic cars and a few other cars that many of you would probably see it as an attention seeking car.

Everyone of my cars I have worked my ass off for. I don’t own them because of what other people think, I own them because they bring me joy. I have met life long friends through, they have been great investments usually too. I enjoy modifying and tinkering with them and they look great to me and that’s all that matters.

They are actually one of the great motivators I had in life to do well, so I could afford to own them and some of the cars I own now are cars I lusted after as a teenager, dreaming that one day I could get my hands on one.

I earn triple figures a year, happily married, self made and very much ambitious. It’s a hobby that only adults can participate in and afford. I can assure you I am a perfectly normal (or as normal as anyone can be, the definition of that may vary from person to person).

My wife isn’t a fan of them all, a few I know she is a little embarrassed of, but she is happy that it brings me so much joy.

So maybe give this guy a chance, rather than deciding his motivations for doing so, maybe take a little interest in what he is passionate about and you might understand it a little better.

A loud car is no more inconsiderate than those cycling clubs blocking up the roads or horses doing the same. A minor inconvenience that’s no big deal really."

😂 Course you have mate. I spotted your cars while flying over in a y formation in my fleet of private jets the other day.

Get back to your Romanian cell!

DatingDinosaur · 02/09/2023 09:06

So for the car modding fans reading this, can you explain what the point is of modifying a regular car to make such a racket?

There’s a difference between a car enthusiast and a modder, imho.

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 09:15

@DatingDinosaur it’s quite possible that it’s a performance version of a Mondeo and he has fitted an exhaust as part of an overall tuning package.

On a turbocharged car, fitting an unrestricted exhaust system can add around 20bhp but combined with a remap and maybe a few other modifications it could add anything up to 80-100bhp to it.

For all the posters jumping on me, I’m not here to patronise any of you but some of the comments being made shows you just genuinely don’t understand it and are jumping to assumptions. Myself and most car enthusiasts I know are doing it for their sole enjoyment, not to draw attention to themselves.

@Crossinsomekindaline no need for that. If you haven’t achieved much in life, there’s no need to be jealous

HelpMeGetThrough · 02/09/2023 09:29

So for the car modding fans reading this, can you explain what the point is of modifying a regular car to make such a racket?

Tempted to ask the knob head across the road from us. He's got a 21 year old heap of shit and was buggering around underneath it the other day. Was a hell of a racket coming from it when he finished. He was enjoying revving it so much, I thought he was going to knock one out!

Not as funny as when he decided to drain and replace the coolant in his last car. Got that wrong and blew the head gasket.

We had peace and quiet for a few weeks until this shit heap turned up.

DatingDinosaur · 02/09/2023 09:36

Thanks @RealisticGuy but what is the point? What is it achieving? Most people can appreciate or tolerate a well looked after car, a performance car, a sports car, etc. even one that's been pimped up a bit but the noisy exhaust thing serves no real purpose in terms of performance. So why is a common-all-garden car modded to sound like an old banger?

MrsJBaptiste · 02/09/2023 09:44

Good god. It's just a car. If it's turned you off him, then don't waste any more of his time. If you can look past it, then great! I'm sure there's something he's found out about you that's made him think twice!

Exactly! None of us are perfect (although I think a lot of people on MN actually think they are...)

And FFS, can we stop going on about the "ick" 🙄 one of the most ridiculous words on here.

pictoosh · 02/09/2023 10:00

DatingDinosaur · 02/09/2023 09:36

Thanks @RealisticGuy but what is the point? What is it achieving? Most people can appreciate or tolerate a well looked after car, a performance car, a sports car, etc. even one that's been pimped up a bit but the noisy exhaust thing serves no real purpose in terms of performance. So why is a common-all-garden car modded to sound like an old banger?

Yes indeed, I want to know WHY anyone chooses to fit them. I understand being into cars as a passion...but what's the point of the pimped up exhaust making an unholy and frankly stupid-sounding noise everywhere they go? The only purpose of it is the noise.
It's a dickhead siren surely? A big baby klaxon.

What do they imagine is happening? Who do they think is impressed? Why are they impressed?

I want answers.

PinkB87 · 02/09/2023 10:19

It's not just men.

I'm a 36 year old woman, widowed, I own my home and I have a professional career in healthcare, mum of 2 (that's in response to the poster who said he probably doesn't own anything cos he has that type of car etc...!)

I have had modified cars since I got my license at 17.

The poster who explained what mods are is 100% correct

I don't modify my car to draw attention or annoy others. I do it cos I like it.

I worked hard to buy my car, why shouldn't I be able to do what I want to it?

Oliotya · 02/09/2023 10:25

PinkB87 · 02/09/2023 10:19

It's not just men.

I'm a 36 year old woman, widowed, I own my home and I have a professional career in healthcare, mum of 2 (that's in response to the poster who said he probably doesn't own anything cos he has that type of car etc...!)

I have had modified cars since I got my license at 17.

The poster who explained what mods are is 100% correct

I don't modify my car to draw attention or annoy others. I do it cos I like it.

I worked hard to buy my car, why shouldn't I be able to do what I want to it?

Unnecessarily loud exhausts are wanky and obnoxious whoever owns them.

AutumnCrow · 02/09/2023 10:26

I worked hard to buy my car, why shouldn't I be able to do what I want to it?

Because it affects other people detrimentally? Lots of posters have patiently explained this.

I have worked hard to buy my own house. I very much can't do what I want to it. I need to stay within the relevant laws and permissions on planning, environmental health (including noise pollution), domestic waste (bins), and health & safety.

MarshyMcMarshFace · 02/09/2023 10:37

@PinkB87 I don’t want to be subjected to your additional exhaust noise.

it is incredibly inconsiderate , selfish and probably dangerous. Making people jump with unnecessary loud ‘pops’ while driving is not a good idea.

Sit in your own home and play engine noises to yourself through headphones. Don’t subject the rest of us to it.

MarshyMcMarshFace · 02/09/2023 10:42

OP, fair enough to give him another chance. Gushed whether you think he would be receptive to a conversation about it were your relationship to go further.

People put other potentially anti social habits (smoking) in their bios.

Marineboy67 · 02/09/2023 10:46

I think it's ridiculous to judge someone on their car. How utterly pathetic, ok not my bag but if it's his interest and hobby why ever not? Judge someone on how they are as a person and how they treat you surety not their vehicle. If you can't get past it leave him alone to find someone else!

Velvian · 02/09/2023 11:06

@Marineboy67 , people judge others on all sorts of things. Choice of car is a fair thing to be judgemental about as far as I'm concerned.

Why do you have such a strong opinion about it? "Pathetic" is quite a strong reaction.

RealisticGuy · 02/09/2023 11:08

DatingDinosaur · 02/09/2023 09:36

Thanks @RealisticGuy but what is the point? What is it achieving? Most people can appreciate or tolerate a well looked after car, a performance car, a sports car, etc. even one that's been pimped up a bit but the noisy exhaust thing serves no real purpose in terms of performance. So why is a common-all-garden car modded to sound like an old banger?

Ah ok, I think the misunderstanding might be that it’s primary purpose is noise.

The reason an unmodified exhaust is so quiet is that it has silencer baffles throughout. This filters and reduces the noise (and some exhaust gases) but is very restrictive to the flow, limiting its potential performance.

So by fitting a performance exhaust it allows the engine to breathe more effectively and produces more power, increases the performance and driving enjoyment. The byproduct is that there are none or less silencers so the noise increases.

So it’s goal isn’t about the noise usually (although many car enthusiasts do enjoy hearing the sound, myself included) none of my vehicles I would describe as obnoxiously loud, they are all legal but certainly louder than an unmodified example.

I think there is a case of live and let live in life. I hate going for a meal or to the pool on holiday and having screaming children to deal with but I put up with it as that’s life. Likewise if I meet someone on a horse, or a cycling club inconveniencing me. At the end of the day it’s very fleeting and those people are also just enjoying their life and interests also.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/09/2023 11:09

Marineboy67 · 02/09/2023 10:46

I think it's ridiculous to judge someone on their car. How utterly pathetic, ok not my bag but if it's his interest and hobby why ever not? Judge someone on how they are as a person and how they treat you surety not their vehicle. If you can't get past it leave him alone to find someone else!

I am judging people who drive these loud, obnoxious cars as the person they are. Only an arsehole would think it's acceptable to inflict this noise pollution on everyone around them.

Velvian · 02/09/2023 11:15

@RealisticGuy , it is not a 'misunderstanding ' that has led OP to get the ick from her date's car. How patronising can you be?

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