I’ve been with my partner over 3 years and we have a 9 month old together. I have a 7 year old with previous partner who I left when daughter was young as he was abusive. He went a number of years no contact ordered by a judge, then contact started end of last year with every other weekend. That appears to be going well and he appears to be behaving in his new relationship.
We took it slow for almost a year, We all moved in together last year as the baby was due. She loves her little sister but often pushes her. My daughter has always been a bit difficult, even as a young child she would answer back, tell me to shut up and ran off everywhere. Her behaviour has just got worse and worse. The school is involved but there was a waiting list and the help with start this year. She won’t follow any instruction. Tells me she hates me, tells me to die, tells me she hopes I get sick. I’ve tried so hard, spend time with her, take her out but nothing is enough.
The relationship with my partner used to be pretty good, she at least spoke with some respect. That has not completely been shattered. She swears at him, tells him he needs to get out of the house, tells him he’s bold and ugly, doesn’t know why mummy is with him, she wants him to die.
Every holiday is awful, she runs off, talks back, rolls eyes. It’s just one argument after another. When told she needs to speak respectfully and do what she’s asked to do she just says I’ll do what I want.
The atmosphere in the house is awful and the unit is breaking down. My partner no longer wants to speak to her or have any to do with her really as she is so awful to him. It’s causing such a divide and I don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing works, reward charts, taking things away, sitting in room, spending more time with her etc. She doesn’t want to do school word and screams and tears up her books, screams when it’s time to learn spellings. It’s so stressful I’ve told the school we aren’t doing it until we get support.