Had a one night stand and now feeling like shit

[thecatsarecrazy]

Well at the age of 41 I experienced my first one night stand and walk of shame and I didn't like it.
I was talking to his Friend originally and things were never going anywhere there so he introduced me to him and gave him my number. We messaged a hand full of times and he invited me out for a drink. We got flirting, kissed and spent the night together. The sex was incredible, not a drunken fumble proper sex with him in no way being selfish, we had sex twice that evening, twice in the morning and taking full advantage of the hotel staying until 12. He took me home and then soon after the buzz started to fade. I messaged him saying I hope you enjoyed it and his response was yeah it was fun. No talk about hope to see you again or anything so clearly a one off, I left it at that but now I just feel horrible.

Good for you OP, and also fine for you to text him as you did. It’s more likely to be a casual thing rather than turn into a relationship (although it’s not unheard of it is pretty rare I think..) but if you’re fine with that, crack on! I’ve currently got something similar: amazing sex, unlikely to turn into a ‘relationship’ but frankly, I’ve had enough of picking up men’s socks off the floor and happy to have a lover for a while! .. Just make sure you are honest with yourself and about what you want and take care of your heart, body and mind OP and you will be fine.

Agree with the previous poster, as long as you have realistic expectations on how serious and long standing this situation will be with this guy, go for it and enjoy it. Sounds like he is interested in a repeat with you so it will probably progress to more than the one night you've had already into at least a FWB type arrangement.

Probably unlikely to be marriage material but who knows and who cares - you only live once. Never feel guilty about having fun by the way - I still think there's still stigma in society about women having casual sex despite generally more progressive attitudes. Hopefully second time round you feel better the following day. And well done by the way for being proactive and texting him - that's another example where more old fashioned attitudes can still prevail!

This. It's no consequence to use here. There are no rules. But many of us know what it's like.

If you're 100% down for NSA then all good but be aware of the likely reality imo

To us here*

As a few other posters have mentioned, it seems like you should think a little bit more about your feelings and exactly why you feel like that. Based on your brief description it seems like you had a really nice time (if somewhat unexpected) and both partners had fun.

Maybe there is a nagging concern about birth control on your mind? Or risk of STI? Or doing some things you don'r normally do?

Regardless, it seems like something you might look back fondly on later. Four times in 12 hours! I'm impressed by both of you :) And a little jealous!!

You take it for what it was - a night of incredible sex. You had an experience, you've realised it wasn't for you, which is ok.

And stop thinking about it as a walk of shame, there is no shame at all in what you did

I know it won't lead to a relationship, that's not the big issue really, as many have pointed out I'm just disappointed it probably won't happen again. We were flirting again for a bit but nothing much yesterday. Got left on read so I won't double text. If we could possibly have a fwb situation then great. I had one before the sex was OK, he was good looking but a bit of a twat. He messaged me last night actually he does that just pops up at the worst times, but I don't want to see him again haha. I'll see what happens I feel a bit better now the high has worn off. If nothing happens again at least I had a great night, if it does then great!

The problem here is even if he does message…..

it’s going to be for a fxxk , at best

as you rather like him the safest recourse is to delete him