Heartbroken - husband scared off my crush

[Lou153Lou]

My husband has some inheritance and he lives off it. Not enough to be frivolous.

He doesn’t do anything or see anyone from one day to the next. No interests. We have nothing to talk about and I find him pathetic and unattractive in his idleness and insecurities.

I feel like I’ve tried everything. Advice, honesty, suggestions, opportunities… even tender affection but he thinks its a green light for him masterbating in me.

We get this builder in for several months and long story short, he fancies me and eventually lets me know it.

I don’t find him physically attractive at all but he’s alpha and fit and chasing me.

Compliments and suggestive comments. I’m not sure I believe it - who would fancy me at nearly 40?! He’s seen me dog rough too.

I’m suddenly excited about getting dressed into something nice, a bit of make up, new bras.

It all feels safe. Nothing in common, rarely alone together and nothing sexually explicit. We’re never going to fall in love.

I didn’t hide my developing friendship from my husband but excluded the flirtation bit.

I started getting messages from him. Tried including my husband. How’s your day been type things, music interests, pretty boring but they made me smile.

Husband must have seen me smiling too much… suddenly completely exploded at me. Next thing he’s messaged the builder and exploded at him.

Immediately the builder has drop kicked me and I’m heartbroken. Not even checked I’m ok.

He’s turned ultra professional. Cold.

I get it, no drama, but I’m so fucking miserable without him showing an interest.

It’s not even the builder really. The worst thing is that I don’t think I’ll ever feel like that again. Desired. No one will ever notice me.

I wish we’d kissed. I wish we’d had a fumble. I wish I’d got chance to run my hands over his rock hard arms and chest.

I’ve thought about divorce but for what? My life is fine, children happy, no worries.

I only needed a secret flirty friend and my life would have been complete and now my husband had ruined that and I resent him even more for it.

My husband asked how I’d feel if it was him and my honest thought was relieved. I’d invite her and her family around for dinner!

Can anyone relate? Similar stories to share? Broken hearted within a secure marriage? Feeling forty?

@NashvilleQueen but wasn't the builder in Motherland not interested in her? In the Op's story the builder was flirting? Motherland builder wasn't IRRC.

Which bras did you buy, op?

But Julia thought Garry was flirting with her. Like when he brought her a tap.

According to the unicorn I mean op that is

Perhaps substitute 'the builder' for a stable hand, preferably one from an impoverished background with a strong northern accent?

Punctuation needs a little work but otherwise, a great first attempt at creative writing. 👍🏼

😂😂😂 very true!

I wish we’d kissed. I wish we’d had a fumble. I wish I’d got chance to run my hands over his rock hard arms and chest.

Christ. This sounds like one of my grandma's Mills and Boons.

Brilliant!

Hi all,
Thanks to those who have not trollhunted on the thread.
We well understand why there have been some concerns over this one but having looked into the account we'd be inclined to give the benefit of the doubt just now.
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Yeah I met my boyfriend through this type of thing my relationship was over with my kids dad for ages. Hadn't been near eachother. Its important you don't create this idea 9f how it could be. Because he likely isn't that person you think he is. He also is a man with flaws and who knows how he really Is. He knows your married and he has tested if he can get your attention. Is he a home wrecker? Perhaps he's obsessed with women and may talk to anything that gives him attention. If you aren't happy leave your husband and art yourself free.

But a vibratos whilst your waiting dow your divorce to come through.

Staying with a man you find pathetic is a reflection on your character not his.

Op, I think you are getting some harsh replies here. Honestly, I think you are unhappy and divorcing would likely be the best option for you. At 40 you are still young. I divorced at 45. My ex dh was not a bad person , basically a plodder. I saw after 15 yrs he was just not right for me and was not listening to me. He stayed the same. I started fancying other people and that's when i knew I wanted out. You and your husband have grown apart and you are resenting him. The builder has just reignited something in you and has brought it to the surface. Your husband has a right to be angry, that said, if he is not responding to your attempts to fix the problems, he is expecting you to just accept the status quo and who he is. You do not have to do that, you have a choice. You have tried to provoke your husband into action by flirting with the builder, all he has done is put a stop to it but not identified his own role in how you are feeling. You need to decide what you want now and that may mean divorcing.

whilst running your quaint cafe with gingham table cloths you bump into a lonely looking guy called Will with windswept curls and tanned forearms doing up a boat in the harbour.

At first he seems brusque and unfriendly but as you get to know him you realise he’s just a wounded soul with deep brooding eyes.

Is this a story synopsis for a straight-to-tv mini drama? Will Emily blunt play you? Who will be the feckless builder? I'm suggesting Danny Dyer!

You loathe your husband, so your life isn't happy, in which case, separate and leave the relationship dramas to Netflix.

No, that’s way too upmarket a fiction type. They don’t long for a ‘fumble’ on a building site! This is the kind of Chat/Take A Break story that runs alongside stories called FROM RECLUSIVE BLOB TO SLINKY GRAN or KORMA BLIMEY: I FOUND LOVE AT LOCAL CURRYHOUSE.

The photo will suggest that the rock-hard abs are accessorised with missing teeth and a mis-spelled tattoo.

"Can anyone relate? Similar stories to share? Broken hearted within a secure marriage? Feeling forty?"

No

Anyone else read this in Prince Harry’s voice?

This!

How about divorcing your "pathetic" husband?

He he yes. HE KNOCKED MY WALL DOWN AND KNOCKED ME UP! I couldn’t resist Dave’s saucy banter.

Underneath the photo of Dave the builder in his sweaty vest is the caption “He was gorgeous “

Are you a chat bot?

KORMA BLIMEY: I FOUND LOVE AT LOCAL CURRYHOUSE.

I so badly want to see this as a headline on 'take a break'

If he’s on CheckATrade you could leave a review?

2 stars ⭐️⭐️
”This builder started well, giving me compliments and making suggestive sexual remarks but I was seriously disappointed when he turned ultra professional and decided to just concentrate on the job”