Why do women have affairs with men with young children

[Thegreenpotter]

As the title says. Why?

Do they have no concept of the toll that having young children can take on a relationship?

How can they feel ok playing a part in breaking up a family?

This is not to suggest the blame lies with the other women, far from. Just more a curiosity as to why and how they can do so from a moral perspective.

@Honeychickpea And yet so many men leave for the Ferrari. I wonder why .

Where have you got that idea? A quick Google will tell you otherwise.

A quick read on Mumsnet will fill you in.

@DrSbaitso Thank you for your kind words, yes that was the one! I've had cancer since and it sent her over the edge, she didn't want him helping me with our son at all. I just needed a babysitter while I had surgery and treatment and she saw that as a threat. She bought a house in Scotland, 750 miles away. They live there now. There is no contact, not even a mobile number or email. My son is doing ok but wants to change his surname. He's nearly a teen. It's been tough. We are better off without that toxicity though. I appreciate your post, thank you ❤️

Google says 3-5%

Ive worked with a few women like this

A few things need separated out
the name calling & unpleasant tone (although to be expected) adds nothing. It’s an indignant background noise at best

the ow having the relationship with the MM isn’t necessarily waiting,hoping and scheming that she’ll get picked, or she’ll be the next wife. Plenty women date MM for sex,because they like it because they want to. Women don’t always seek or want marriage house ,kids as the culmination of a relationship. Some women are happy enough in a relationship that’s based on the sexual chemistry and the here and now

Being the ow can in no way be equated to homicide,harm,and dysfunction. Nor can an OW be wholly held accountable for the impact of a marital affair. Takes two. Two are responsible and accountable

Women who like sex,and male company are always demonised in some way. As the culmination of so called proper relationship is purported to be marriage and stability. The OW and the errant husband pose a tangible threat to the family and deviate from typical women good girl roles. so the OW are a scary threat,to be despised and pilloried

i think affairs are nuanced and essentially come down to opportunity and volition. Depends on the personality and behaviour of the individuals

I don’t think folk who have affairs are other,or really bad they are brothers/sisters,friends .colleagues,acquaintances making potentially dubious choices.

Wow, you really don't get a break, do you? I hope you are fully recovered and in good health now. You get cancer and she goes over the edge? Godawful woman, godawful man.

Massive respect for coming through it all with your son. I wish you all the best.

Amazing how I've loved sex my entire adult life and never been demonised or fallen into bed with a married man. It's almost like it's...not difficult in the slightest 😂

Perhaps tell married men your secret so they can stop cheating, then.

Run a workshop for the masses on the thread who are stuck on the pejorative terms and name calling.

Glad you’re happy though, we all strive for that

No, she inserted herself. She became a regular visitor, arranged events for the three of them etc. It was very odd to see happen.

Obviously he encouraged it. He was responsible for his own actions.

All these OW who entirely blame the man and consider themselves completely without blame.

If your child had a drug problem would you hold them entirely responsible or harbour a slight grudge against the dealer who encouraged and peddled them?

I think regarding an adult man who wants more sex than he's getting as a child with a drug problem is quite strange.

I said ‘your child’ not ‘a child’

lets say an adult child.

It’s a similar scenario isn’t it?

Their choice regardless, no blame anywhere else.

@DrSbaitso the 'secret' is the same for all - have respect for others. Groundbreaking! That means: not cheating on your wife or husband, not being complicit in an affair with someone else's wife or husband, and generally doing your best not to shatter someone else's life to pieces & traumatise children ☺️

I agree

its like buying stolen goods. ‘Well I didn’t nick it so it’s ok’

Human relations and individual choice are most unlike acquiring stolen goods
A cash transaction were consumer durable items are exchanged for cash is incomparable to a consensual adult relationship

Both immoral

@DrSbaitso I'm fine so far, thank you so much for your kindness. I had breast cancer, caught early but needed a lot of treatment due to type. However, I'm fully recovered and long may that continue! Yes I'd not thought of it that way! She probably told my ex I was "attention seeking" in the same way she did when son was undergoing his autism assessment. Imagine being her? 😬

"Maybe because their wives have become kid obsessed and the marriage has changed?"

Yep. That will be it won't it? How annoying that your wife is so preoccupied with raising and caring for your own kids. Its just selfish of her innit?

No wonder the husband has to go and have an affair with a much younger woman who does not have any of his kids (yet....).

acquisition of consumer goods and engagement in human relationships are not comparable

They view them as overworked and easy prey. The ladies looking to break up a family as a result of a hook up are pure psychopaths. Men rarely want to leave let alone break up another family. They are in it for sex.

And you know this how?

Who in their right mind would want to share a man ?