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Original poster

Why do women have affairs with men with young children

999 replies

Thegreenpotter · 19/08/2023 22:52

As the title says. Why?

Do they have no concept of the toll that having young children can take on a relationship?

How can they feel ok playing a part in breaking up a family?

This is not to suggest the blame lies with the other women, far from. Just more a curiosity as to why and how they can do so from a moral perspective.

OP posts:
Whatsthepoint1234 · 19/08/2023 22:53

Men either lie or they are selfish.

fgsstopbs · 19/08/2023 22:53

That's just a small minority. Why does anyone have an affair. I'm guessing your partner told lots of lies to the other woman too. They are both to blame but more so your partner.

Spywoman · 19/08/2023 22:54

You're asking the wrong question.

The right question is, why do men with young children have affairs.

Why and how can they do that from a moral perspective.

Xrays · 19/08/2023 22:54

I think people who have affairs compartmentalise their lives. It’s almost psychopathological.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/08/2023 22:55

Some don't consider the children at all and some view his attentions as a competition and get a perverse pleasure of " winning " over the mother and children.

Whatsthepoint1234 · 19/08/2023 22:55

I echo pp, affairs are mutual, the man isn’t just dragged in.

cestlavielife · 19/08/2023 22:55

why do men with young children have affairs.?

They are the ones spinning lies

Coronado2 · 19/08/2023 22:55

Spywoman · 19/08/2023 22:54

You're asking the wrong question.

The right question is, why do men with young children have affairs.

Why and how can they do that from a moral perspective.

I came here to say this.

CatandSpoon · 19/08/2023 22:56

Coronado2 · 19/08/2023 22:55

I came here to say this.

Show quote history

So did I

Changingplace · 19/08/2023 22:57

Wrong question- why do men with young children have affairs? It’s their family they’re hurting, blame lies in their court imo, and the fact they’re having affairs already suggests they’re full of lies so god knows what nonsense they’re telling the OW.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 19/08/2023 22:57

It's a good question though. I went to uni with someone who was famous for only taking interest in attached men, especially when she knew their partners. I think it's a psychological issue with some.

BungleandGeorge · 19/08/2023 22:57

I don’t really see it’s different to any other affair? Either they don’t know because the man is lying or they don’t care

TomatoSandwiches · 19/08/2023 22:57

It's a shame any woman still ties their self worth to the attentions of men.
It doesn't have to be that way.

Wenfy · 19/08/2023 22:59

Men who cheat when they have young kids / babies are scum. The bottom feeders who they attract are also scum.

HollyFern1110 · 19/08/2023 22:59

I think, in general, people who have affairs see something they want & take it irrespective of all other factors.

It's an intrinsically selfish thing to do.

Nobody's caring about partners, children, professional conflicts. Nothing.

backtoworktomorrow2 · 19/08/2023 22:59

Spywoman · 19/08/2023 22:54

You're asking the wrong question.

The right question is, why do men with young children have affairs.

Why and how can they do that from a moral perspective.

Exactly this 👏🏻

FloweryName · 19/08/2023 23:00

They do it because they fancy the man involved. They have no interest in or obligation to the children.

Daffodilwoman · 19/08/2023 23:00

I doubt they give it a second thought.
Some won’t even know will they? In fact some won’t even know they are the ow.

Videogame0 · 19/08/2023 23:00

Spywoman · 19/08/2023 22:54

You're asking the wrong question.

The right question is, why do men with young children have affairs.

Why and how can they do that from a moral perspective.

Yep this.

lovemycbf · 19/08/2023 23:00

Women do it because they can,and knowing they have children just makes it even worse especially if the children are teenagers and know full well what's going on .
And before anyone comments yes the men are to blame too but it just seems so much worse that a woman can willingly do this to another woman

Youdontsay87 · 19/08/2023 23:00

Because they're just not nice women are they.
My friends husband had an affair when she was pregnant with their second child. He left her when their baby was just 2 weeks old.
The women knew all about his marriage, his children and the new baby.
She had kids of her own. He moved in and became steps dad and never saw his kid after that. He's not together with the women anymore but he's gone on to have more kids with someone else.
Basically all round scum of the earth.
If I was in charge I'd make it a punishable offence.

Greensleeves · 19/08/2023 23:01

I don't have firsthand experience, but my guess would be:

a) they don't believe they have any obligations towards his children - that's his problem
b) the affair takes place in a separate space, fuelled by limerence and adrenaline, so life outside it doesn't exist as long as they are getting their fix
c) they don't have children themselves and have a limited understanding of the probable devastation the affair will cause them
d) they spend time with friends/in online spaces/with Mr Prize who encourages them to buy into the idea that monogamy is unrealistic, outdated, rare and totally uncool anyway

User63847484848 · 19/08/2023 23:02

I think if they don’t have children they’re more likely to just leave if they’re not happy, but if they have kids then they’re likely to feel like they can’t or don’t want to leave because of money or not seeing the kids as much.
Also I think some men struggle to adjust to the change in the relationship after children - the demands, and the effect it can have on a sex life, and that they’re no longer the sole focus of their partner.
Plus we all know parenting especially the early years can put pressure on relationships and widen the cracks. Rather than work at it some men just seek what they want elsewhere.

User63847484848 · 19/08/2023 23:02

Sorry I’m talking about why men with young kids have affairs rather than from the female perspective

Homeww · 19/08/2023 23:04

For me it was I wanted him and I felt gutted that the wife had beaten me to it. I was sad that I couldn’t have him but enjoyed making him want me anyway. I liked being the greener grass on the other side and I played on it. Turns out he wanted me that bad that he left. I didn’t really feel bad because I told myself it happens all the time and the kids would be ok. I had no kids of my own so didn’t understand. Now I do have kids I know what I did was wrong but I also think he was gross for allowing himself to be led by his dick. I had low self esteem and it was nice to be chosen over someone else. I’d never stolen a someone’s man before. I liked it.