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Original poster

Partner's poor personal hygiene

123 replies

Emmit79 · 14/08/2023 02:35

I've just discovered that my bf of 5 years (lived with me and my boys for 3) never washes his hands properly, even after using the toilet. The only time his hands come into contact with any 'soap' is when he showers, on average every 2-3 days. (Until I recently challenged him on it, this was also the only time he changed his underwear.)
I love him but I don't think I can live with a man with such poor personal hygiene standards and such disregard for others in the household. The thought of him touching me or our clean dishes, surfaces etc sickens me.
Am I overreacting or do I ask him to leave?

OP posts:
Original poster
Emmit79 · 14/08/2023 02:38

My 16 year old son was very unwell last year with a bacterial stomach infection. I'm now wondering whether my bf's lack of hand washing was the cause of this and feel incredibly guilty for inviting my bf into our home and putting my son through that

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2023 02:49

He wears the same underwear for three days and this is all only a problem now? Why have your standards been so low for so long? He bathes only twice a week and this is ok with you?

SmokeyToo · 14/08/2023 02:57

I don't think there's ever an excuse for poor hygiene. How did you not challenge him on this when he moved in with you? He must smell awful! A shower every day is an absolute MUST! I wouldn't let a guy near me who didn't shower at least daily!

Topseyt123 · 14/08/2023 03:01

What a minger! Showering should be daily, as should clean underwear.

I'd ask him to leave as he doesn't seem to see it as a problem.

mushroommummy · 14/08/2023 03:07

Ohh come on OP… he needs to go that’s awful! There is no excuse for such disgusting behaviour.

RantyAnty · 14/08/2023 03:11

You're only just noticing this after 5 years.

Monty27 · 14/08/2023 03:17

Oh he's got low standards. Get him to gone. You'll sink with him in your own self esteem if you accept it.

Tlolljs · 14/08/2023 03:24

Why have you only just noticed? Doesn’t he smell?

Original poster
Emmit79 · 14/08/2023 04:29

To be fair, since challenging him about the underwear, he does now change daily and he always showers before sex. He showers after work (he works 4 nights a week) but on days off / holidays he goes 2-3 days.

It's more the lack of hand washing that is an issue for me as this poses a health risk to me and my boys

OP posts:
GardeningIdiot · 14/08/2023 04:34

Jesus, so many men are depressing fuckers.

autienotnaughti · 14/08/2023 04:58

The underwear and showering would bother me. Doesn't he wash his hands and face every day? He should wash his hands before cooking/eating and after cleaning/taking bins out. Toilet for a poo definitely. A wee would bother me less as there's far less contact, it's not massively different to having a scratch/manoeuvre

Sushi4Dins · 14/08/2023 06:11

What’s his justification for this rank behaviour?!

Amybelle88 · 14/08/2023 06:47

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

EAP · 14/08/2023 07:14

Just remind him to wash his hands, no big deal. Talk about storm in tea cup!

Original poster
Emmit79 · 14/08/2023 07:55

EAP, I wish it were as simple as that. He sees nothing wrong with not washing them

OP posts:
ConnieTucker · 14/08/2023 07:57

Emmit79 · 14/08/2023 07:55

EAP, I wish it were as simple as that. He sees nothing wrong with not washing them

if he sees nothing wrong with not washing his hands, he wont change.

id be instantly turned off him, angry about how ill my child was, and asking him to leave.

disgusting.

StarPotential · 14/08/2023 08:00

Did he used to wash his hands five years ago? What has changed?

Original poster
Emmit79 · 14/08/2023 10:22

StarPotential nothing has changed, I have only just become aware of it. I always assumed he did, after all who wouldn't! However we have just returned from a holiday abroad and he had a separate room from me as I was sharing with my son. Half way through the week I used the bathroom in his room and noticed he hadn't opened a soap. When I challenged him about it he replied that he never uses soap.

OP posts:
Goldcircle · 14/08/2023 10:23

Minging. Couldnt live with that from a grown man/partner.

GardeningIdiot · 14/08/2023 12:31

EAP · 14/08/2023 07:14

Just remind him to wash his hands, no big deal. Talk about storm in tea cup!

This would be appropriate and might work if he was a five-year-old child. He's not.

Missingmyusername · 14/08/2023 12:33

It would be a no from me. He either gets very familiar with soap and water or he’s a goner.

masking123 · 14/08/2023 14:15

Ask if he'd like it if you put shit in his dinner. Can guarantee he would say no, so why is it acceptable for him not to wash his hands after he's been to the toilet? Abhorrent habit. No excuse for not washing your hands.

Sherrycat · 14/08/2023 14:22

Does he not even wash his hands after a poo?

Original poster
Emmit79 · 14/08/2023 15:52

Sherrycat no he doesn't. He says he sometimes rinses them with water but never uses soap

OP posts:
Runaround50 · 14/08/2023 18:09

Totally grim!!!
🤮🤮🤮
Plus a health hazard.
Urggh grotesque.

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