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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Nervous about dating v wealthy man

132 replies

coalsout · 13/08/2023 21:17

I've nc for this as I have a concurrent thread which may be identifying but I am single/ lone parent of three teenagers.
I would like a companion/
Friend/lover but I want to keep him completely separate from other parts of my
Life.
Just something to add joy to my life without any complications.
I have met a man on line.
We have chatted a good bit and get on great!
To add ,
My self esteem is high enough and I do know that I deserve the best having worked hard in myself after an abusive marriage that ended some years ago.

He has asked me for dinner and drinks a few times.
I am interested as he is looking for the exact same set up for the same reasons ...
So dinner, drinks,
Concerts,
Breaks away etc now and again but to be exclusive to each other.
I am also very attracted to him.

My issue is that he is very posh and very wealthy and I'm not so I wouldnt be in a position to spend a lot dating him and I want it to be mutual.
He likes fine dining, fine wines, luxury hotels and holiday locations.
I am relatively comfortable but a world away from his situation.
I don't know how to broach this.
Do I just leave it altogether?

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 14/08/2023 21:03

Awittyfool · 14/08/2023 21:00

Oh come on. It’s not unreasonable to wonder what his motives are. He has a much better chance of meeting a partner than the Op especially if sex and friendship are all he wants.
Imagine if the roles were reversed and the Op had millions. Would will all be saying that lovely Dave with a dad bod and a masters but a very average job was a good match? Or would we be saying he won’t get your lifestyle/ watch your money?

Plenty of people have managed to advise the OP to be wary and check he's genuine, without telling her he can't be real because she must be so unattractive.

I'm sure you can see the difference.

coalsout · 14/08/2023 21:46

Well.....
I've got a more tech able friend than I ,
to do a little more digging and it transpires that this bloke swindled hundred of thousands of pounds from the Gov in taxes a few years ago and made a nominal return.
So, too dodgy and dishonest for me to so I've said my goodbyes.
Thanks for all the great advice and opinions and for your sensitivities.
We move on.

OP posts:
Awittyfool · 14/08/2023 22:02

DrSbaitso · 14/08/2023 21:03

Plenty of people have managed to advise the OP to be wary and check he's genuine, without telling her he can't be real because she must be so unattractive.

I'm sure you can see the difference.

I don’t think that’s what the PP meant.

Probably for the best OP. Sure there are less fraught relationships to be had. Good luck.

DrSbaitso · 14/08/2023 22:08

Awittyfool · 14/08/2023 22:02

I don’t think that’s what the PP meant.

Probably for the best OP. Sure there are less fraught relationships to be had. Good luck.

I don’t think that’s what the PP meant.

Then it shouldn't have been what they explicitly said!

Stop trying to excuse it. It was gratuitously rude and nasty and you know it.

To OP, good thinking and well caught!

Olika · 14/08/2023 22:55

Good job op!

WunWun · 14/08/2023 22:58

Just to be the voice of doom - online dating rarely works out. Don't overthink it because the chances of getting into an actual relationship with someone from online dating are slim to none.

DameCurlyBassey · 14/08/2023 23:43

That's sad. I hope you're not too disappointed. You dodged a bullet, though. Just keep going. There must be at least one good man out there surely.

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