Husband is deluded

[Itsneverenough007]

Hi all
Just want to ask you guys if I'm being unreasonable or if I've really married an asshole.
It's to do with the garage door key - inner door from garage to kitchen has 2 keys normally left in the lock - the kids were larking about and we're going to lock each other out in the garage - kids said where are the keys I said I didn't know - husband then said in a very accusing voice ( even the kids picked up on it) to me - where are the keys what have you done with them - he got very patronising and said it must have been me that moved them - I swear that I didn't touch them. Anyway he's been giving me the cold shoulder for the last two days and said have I found the keys - I've searched high and low - until I checked his pen pot on his desk and low and behold there are the keys - now my dilemma is do I tell him I found the keys and risk him thinking that I only found them because I put them there or leave him to find them? Advise me dear people!!

He knows they're there, he put them there.

The keys are the least of your problems with this bloke.

Yes I'm getting the impression that he has a few issues!

Are there other instances where you've felt like your going crazy, things don't add up?.

It's possible he's messing with your head intentionally.

This is a weird question. I say that because I think you need to know that this is a weird question. You are preempting some weird game playing/blaming here. That’s an issue.

what a knob head. With a man of this calibre why the fuck are you wasting your time thinking about what he thinks - when you know his thoughts are not worth anything

But why would he think you put them there? Genuine question, because he put them there surely and he knows this.

Tell him you found them. If he chooses to believe you are lying then that's his problem. Don't play games with him, just be direct.

Either he's deliberately messing with you and he knows the keys are in his pen pot, or he didn't know and has since realised but is too embarrassed to come clean, OR he's a genuine moron.

Not sure I'd want to be married to any of the above tbh.

Total AH

Even if he finds the keys you will have put them there to blame him and try and frame him...

Move them & don't tell him

Leave them there. Was in the same scenario and I was accused of putting them there. And yes, issues like this absolutely was the tip of the
Unfortunately I never had wise mumsnetter's seasoned experience and advice to see it back then. Goodluck OP, your life is worth so much more than walking on eggshells and being super sensitive to trying to manage situations that could affect his moods.

He is gaslighting you. Does he have form for this? Cold shoulder for two days when he has the keys? Fuck that shit, I would leave the keys on his desk for him to find. He is a dick.

I agree he knows where they are. Weird thing to do anyway, keep them in his pen pot - why would he do that?!

Take them, put them somewhere else.

What other incidents have there been? This won't be a one off.

Call his bluff - tell him you've rang a locksmith and they are coming to replace the lock.

This.

This is a strange question, surely the immediate impulse is to shout HERE ARE THE KEYS IN YOUR FUCKING PENPOT YOU IDIOT and expect abject apology? It’s a bit worrying that you the start to worry about his response to his mistake?

Could the children have put them there?

Has there been other things like this or is this the first time?

I'd be saying "the keys are in your pen pot exactly where you put them and if you ever try to gaslight or stonewall me again I'll be seeing a solicitor to seek advice on a divorce, so think on pal, this is your final warning"
He gives you the silent treatment, give it right back.
Fuck that for a game of soldiers

This is gaslighting by numbers!

Outrageous.
Tell him they’re there and ask for an apology. When you don’t get one then you need to have a think seriously about the things you are putting up with.

Leave them there. Tell him you've already looked. Youve not touched them. He clearly had them last. He should look. And he should call a locksmith at the point he gives up.

then Really look at his general attitude towards you. And the children. Is it healthy?

Spending two days ignoring you is completely unacceptable. It's controlling, bullying behaviour.

You tell him now "I've looked everywhere for the keys, and here they are, in your pen pot"

If he immediately goes to "she put them there on purpose to hide the fact she lost them" then you can rubber stamp "totsl cunt" onto his persona, and added to the treatment he has given you the last few days, have a think about whether this is a man worth being married to.