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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Teen DD says I’m in a toxic relationship with DH

123 replies

carolmorederman · 28/07/2023 14:02

This situation sounds abusive; you get to be the problem, he takes zero responsibility, you get to be judged and scrutinized but he'll never examine his own behaviour.
just saw these wise words on another relationship thread and it’s dawned on me that this is my DH. For years he blamed his boss and brought home stress.

He blamed me for not getting a job - yet I now wonder if any training I did was sabotaged. Any job I got wasn’t good enough.last year he nagged an LOT annd After a LOT of trying and courses and nagging I got a job I enjoyed but DH needed to be persuaded I should take it as it’s minimum wage. After a few months DH nagged me until I left it. it - ostensibly to persuade DD who had suddenly moved out to return. Possibly because he was being asked to do more around the house.
now my DD who is 18 and suddenly left is telling me that we are in a toxic relationship, he puts me down and I need to work on myself.
DH blames her partner for her leaving and says, ‘we’ve done nothing wrong’ when I say we must have he insists it’s all the partners scheming.
im very confused. I suspect DD has a point.
as I’ve written it here, it doesn’t sound so good. But DH works very hard and wanted always to give the kids nice things.
just confused and emotionally not sure where I am.

OP posts:
carolmorederman · 28/07/2023 14:24

Also, I don’t know if I’ve just got old, but all the things I used to love I don’t do any more. I’m wondering if it’s because I’m sort of encouraged but it’s wierd. I feel like I was encouraged when I was successful but he would get impatient at the long hours required. I don’t think he understands the field I (was) in.
think am finally understanding the phrase,’lost myself’ it’s wierd. How do you find yourself ?!

OP posts:
TheWayoftheLeaf · 28/07/2023 14:30

I mean... Shes 18 you don't have to have done anything wrong for her to leave. She's an adult. She would've left soon anyway and he needs to let her go.

On top of that yes it sounds like he's ground you down. I'm not sure how to suggest finding yourself, but standing up to your husband might help.

Destinedforfakeness · 28/07/2023 14:31

Sorry there's somethings I'm nit clear in but to get it right he got you to leave a job? Was it the one you'd done some training for? Are you working now? Who controls the money?

Whan you say nag what do you mean?

What does your daughter say about why the relationship is toxic?

Ponderingwindow · 28/07/2023 14:49

I spent years and year trying to extricate my mother from her marriage to my father. If your dd is asking you to examine your relationship, then it’s worth some reflection.

toochesterdraws · 28/07/2023 14:51

So he moaned at you for not getting a job.
Then he moaned at you for getting a job that was too low-paid.
Then he moaned about that until you left the job.

He's never satisfied, is he? I'm sure he makes you believe his dissatisfaction is all your fault too.

Your dd is absolutely right. She's a young adult now, and can see things from an adult perspective.

MaryJanesonabreak · 28/07/2023 14:53

So whatever you do isn’t right?
Can you afford a therapist just for you, so you can start finding your way again?

ManchesterGirl2 · 28/07/2023 14:59

That's a lot of untangling to do. It seems like he's been very inconsistent, demanding one thing if you, then another?

It might help to start writing down a timeline, with events you remember, ways in which you think things might have been sabotaged, things he nagged you about at different times.

Anyport · 28/07/2023 15:11

You married a manipulator.

saffronsoup · 28/07/2023 15:24

Most people would be irritable if their spouse didn't work or contribute financially. Just read the threads about unemployed husbands.

Your 18 year old may have some insights but doesn't know the full dynamic between you. As long as you act like a dependent and live off someone else, it is hard for them to treat you as an equal.

Pixiedust1234 · 28/07/2023 15:33

Let's start again OP, your post is rather jumbled.

Is nothing you do is right?
Is nothing you say is right?

What happens if you say no to something he wants? A new TV or a day out?

carolmorederman · 31/07/2023 15:31

Thanks everyone. I’m confused, and feeling guilty about writing here. I think that DH may be controlling a bit.
I think a timeline is a good idea, and I will see if I can find a therapist, I’m very muddled.
DD has said he puts me down and has to be right.
I can have an opinion, but he will just keep on until I give in.
I do need to contribute financially for my own sanity. I feel like every job I get isn’t good enough. I’ve lost a lot of confidence that I’m working on.
he works very long hours in a hard job, which he sometimes use as an excuse - he’s too tired, he works etc. We’ve been through a lot of hard life stuff - Which mentally had an effect on us all.
I wonder if he uses me as someone to blame. Rather than encourage.
I don’t know if I’m making excuses.
there’s years to untangle and I’m part of the system so I need to change.
Thanks.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 31/07/2023 16:03

I can have an opinion, but he will just keep on until I give in.

That's abusive. Just by itself.

If you are only at the start of having your eyes opened then you will be confused, you will refuse to accept, you will try closing them again. But every now and then you will peek sideways out of one eye and actually see. It can take months before your reality stops spinning. It took me six. So keep watching, keep reading and keep posting Flowers

Start reading the Internet on what is classed as abuse by the experts. I'm talking about the big sites like Women's Aid, Refuge, Citizens Advice, Age Concern. Your local council might have one. Then start reading some of the relationship or divorce threads. But here are two to start you off.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help#recognise-domestic-abuse

carolmorederman · 03/08/2023 15:33

Thank you. It’s tricky. I don’t think he is abusive. But I do feel he takes up a lot of energy

OP posts:
DepartureLounge · 03/08/2023 17:34

I was in a relationship like this. When we had one DC, we both did a combination of paid work and housework/childcare but after we had two, it was more efficient to have a more traditional division of labour and I ended up doing more of the grunt work. Very gradually, a dynamic developed whereby I was expected to feel grateful to him for bringing all the money in and pick up all the family shitwork as a result. It wasn't even that lavish a breadwinning effort, but gradually I lost my voice in the relationship without even noticing tbh.

After our third DC went to nursery, I was determined to pull my weight financially again (I saw it as not having done so, even though it was a joint decision and I was hardly idle ffs). I started retraining and would have earned enough to become the sole or at least main breadwinner if I'd finished my training, but I was undermined and sabotaged constantly by my partner and had to drop out of my training because the family and home were going to pot, and the kids were suffering. For at least a decade after that, I tried in dozens of different ways to develop a career or at least my income. I started businesses, developed an income out of side hustles, all sorts. Every single fucking thing I tried to do was undermined one way or another. It took Covid to make me realise that the only thing that would make him happy was for me to be be at home meeting everyone's needs, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring everybody and taking responsibility for the entire scaffolding of our life together, which had the dual benefit to him of simultaneously placing me in the wrong for not sharing the earning.

Reader, I left him. And since I left, he has gone to elaborate lengths to "help" me get a job - which, inexplicably, involved him applying for the same job, apparently in order to thoroughly understand and therefore help me through the recruitment process. (I got it.)

You are in a controlling relationship. It won't get better. He may not mean to do it, but he does. You won't be able to unpick all the complicated things in his psyche that make him behave this way towards you, so your only way to avoid being treated like this is to leave. Don't do couples counselling; he will control that too, the way he's been controlling the narrative in all sorts of ways for years. You will be astonished at how much less stressful and more fulfilling your life will become once you escape the web in which you have become tangled. Your confidence, your income and your relationship with your DD will all benefit.

I wish you the personal agency and the inner peace that I have found. Flowers

Iwaskitty · 03/08/2023 17:38

Please do talk to a therapist. It took my 18 year old to say something similar for me actually see what was happening. Very very similar situation to yours.

Yes, it is abuse. And, yes, it is going to be journey for you. But once to see it, you can't unsee it. And you will find yourself again.

carolmorederman · 03/08/2023 19:00

Thank you. Bit of a shocker.
departurelonge that’s it. Exactly whats happened.
iwaskitty thanks. It’s my dd that said same. Though somehow I’ve known and not been able to process for ages. I keep thinking it’s better, I’ve got stronger.

deleted long rant! I think you’re right, too much to de tangle. But I’m 60. Still stuck. Still feel like he can’t just do something without asking me to help. Blimey.how did that happen.

OP posts:
carolmorederman · 03/08/2023 19:04

departurelounge even to him helping me get freelance - and taking all the credit. Then making it as difficult as possible for me to do it.

OP posts:
TheDestinationUnknown · 03/08/2023 19:14

Is she his daughter? If he was a wonderful father/step father to her and a wonderful husband to her mother then she wouldn't be saying this. She would think he's an amazing person like many daughters do about their (decent) fathers.

When she was little, the way he treats you was just normal to her. As she's gotten older she's realised that it's wrong and it's not how other men treat their wives.

Be grateful that she has recognised that the example of relationships that was set to her growing up was actually toxic, so hopefully she won't replicate it. It could easily have gone the other way.

JustaChristian · 03/08/2023 19:31

This is sad. I never allow to anyone to put me down with words and anytime my husband tried, if he did, i met it with severe divorce warnings. It worked.

DepartureLounge · 04/08/2023 00:29

carolmorederman · 03/08/2023 19:00

Thank you. Bit of a shocker.
departurelonge that’s it. Exactly whats happened.
iwaskitty thanks. It’s my dd that said same. Though somehow I’ve known and not been able to process for ages. I keep thinking it’s better, I’ve got stronger.

deleted long rant! I think you’re right, too much to de tangle. But I’m 60. Still stuck. Still feel like he can’t just do something without asking me to help. Blimey.how did that happen.

I'm not young myself. You can get out from under this. It's great that your DD is spotting the dynamic and bringing it to your attention. So often with controlling relationships, the controlling one has everyone fooled. My partner always tried to make me the bad cop with the children, and did that by putting words into my mouth ("mum's right - you should/shouldn't do/be this/that"). I only spotted it when one of them complained that both of us were always ganging up on him, and I realised that none of the criticisms being voiced in my name were actually coming from me. DS and I had an amazing one-to-one conversation for the first time in an age - normally DP was there manoeuvring and manipulating. That was the day I decided to leave, though it took me a while longer to make it actually happen. I will always be grateful for DS's maturity and emotional intelligence at that time. And you forget the detail of these things and how they felt once some time has passed, so I also have to thank you OP for reminding me of how far I've travelled.

Feel free to PM me if you think it would be helpful to you. x

carolmorederman · 07/08/2023 21:00

Thanks! Just had massive row, not sure what I feel so can’t write conenrently.
You can view it either way. I may be in the wrong, or he may be, who knows. I had bad news and got over sloshed, he’s pissed off as I moved his charger. So he shouts and shouts. And looks at me as if I’m poo.

OP posts:
DepartureLounge · 07/08/2023 21:30

Generally the one who is in the wrong doesn't even consider for a minute that they might be.

My advice: sober up and then go back to the bit you're not sure about - how you feel. In a toxic relationship, very often we put a lot of energy over a long period of time to not feeling our feelings. Give yourself the gift of some time alone tomorrow to ask yourself what you feel. Don't judge or self-edit, or try to find solutions for now. Just feel the feelings, perhaps for the first time in a long while.

carolmorederman · 08/08/2023 07:41

Thank you. And thank you for the PM offer. I don’t know what to ask you about though!
How to feel is a good one. You are right! I don’t know what I feel, or rather I feel that whatever I do will be wrong. Hey ho.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 08/08/2023 07:47

Nope, I’ve read your thread a couple of times and still don’t know what you’re on about.
Do you work? If not, why not? What is your DH not happy with?

perfectcolourfound · 08/08/2023 09:04

I think counselling would help you to unpick your feelings, and your relationship. Obviously solo counselling. I wouldn't even tell your husband that you're having it, as there is a good chance you're in an abusive relationship and you need to work through your feelings and your options without him sabotaging. He doesn't need to know what your plans are until you've made them.

Do you mean you got drunk? Please try to stay away from the drink. It doesn't make anything better, it can easily make things worse, it makes brain fog worse, it makes you more confused, it gives him ammunitiion to hold against you, it will make it harder for you to work out your real feelings and what's really going on.

Stay close to your daughter. Look after that relationship. Let her know you're listening to her, but that you need time.

Do you have anyone else IRL you can talk to? In any case, please keep talking here.

That timeline sounds useful. Please take care to keep it somewhere he won't find it.

Often, once you've noticed abusive / manipulative / any kind of bad behaviourm you can't unsee it. You notice it more and more, and you recall times in the past when you hadn't noticed it at the time. From what you've told us, he sounds abusive. Certainly manipulative and controlling (which are abusive), certainly inconsistent and disrespectful. There may be a lot to work through but you will get there. And you will rebuild yourself, refind yourself, and be much stronger as a result.

In the meantime, trust your own thoughts and feelings above his. he's shown he doesn't always act in your best interests, which means you know you can't trust him.