I was in a relationship like this. When we had one DC, we both did a combination of paid work and housework/childcare but after we had two, it was more efficient to have a more traditional division of labour and I ended up doing more of the grunt work. Very gradually, a dynamic developed whereby I was expected to feel grateful to him for bringing all the money in and pick up all the family shitwork as a result. It wasn't even that lavish a breadwinning effort, but gradually I lost my voice in the relationship without even noticing tbh.
After our third DC went to nursery, I was determined to pull my weight financially again (I saw it as not having done so, even though it was a joint decision and I was hardly idle ffs). I started retraining and would have earned enough to become the sole or at least main breadwinner if I'd finished my training, but I was undermined and sabotaged constantly by my partner and had to drop out of my training because the family and home were going to pot, and the kids were suffering. For at least a decade after that, I tried in dozens of different ways to develop a career or at least my income. I started businesses, developed an income out of side hustles, all sorts. Every single fucking thing I tried to do was undermined one way or another. It took Covid to make me realise that the only thing that would make him happy was for me to be be at home meeting everyone's needs, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring everybody and taking responsibility for the entire scaffolding of our life together, which had the dual benefit to him of simultaneously placing me in the wrong for not sharing the earning.
Reader, I left him. And since I left, he has gone to elaborate lengths to "help" me get a job - which, inexplicably, involved him applying for the same job, apparently in order to thoroughly understand and therefore help me through the recruitment process. (I got it.)
You are in a controlling relationship. It won't get better. He may not mean to do it, but he does. You won't be able to unpick all the complicated things in his psyche that make him behave this way towards you, so your only way to avoid being treated like this is to leave. Don't do couples counselling; he will control that too, the way he's been controlling the narrative in all sorts of ways for years. You will be astonished at how much less stressful and more fulfilling your life will become once you escape the web in which you have become tangled. Your confidence, your income and your relationship with your DD will all benefit.
I wish you the personal agency and the inner peace that I have found. 