How does this message read ? Want to be sure we're on same page

[fhiuredch]

but I just want to be 100% clear this time so there’s no room for confusion or upset again!!! And we’re on the same page.

I know you have loads going on and I really do understand that but I do want to spend some time with you and maybe get the occasional date/wine & chill 😉 night when time allows!! If we can go back to how it was a few weeks back with our usual contact (I’m not happy I haven’t had my good morning text in the last month 😔and I hate feeling like I shouldn’t text… never used to worry about it before) and seeing each other when we can then great I’m all for it 😍

I know you can’t give me everything/a lot at present and if all you can do for the moment is more casual then I’m happy to just be “seeing you” but… if I’m seeing/sleeping with someone regularly for a prolonged period of time then I do expect the same respect, exclusivity and loyalty that I’m giving them, because you will 100% be getting it from me.

But please be perfectly clear that if you are talking, dating, sleeping with others then I can NOT do this! You know I like you a lot and I don’t deserve to be hurt like that. I am a really really good person who doesn’t sleep around and deserves more than that.

Obviously I know you’ve recently signed up to bumble so if I’m not enough to keep you happy and satisfied 🤷‍♀️ and your intention is just to have me on the side while your looking for what you do want or just to sleep with as many girls as you can then I can not do this!!!! So the kindest thing you could do in that instance would be not to reply to this, block me and just let me get over you xx

Or even a decent fun 'mr right now' shouldn't need a grovel like this for the occasional casual sex!

Very well stated 👏

I agree with everyone else, DON'T send that msg!

She's sent the message.

God I genuinely hope not. I would prefer that she has retreated to re-evaluate her priorities.

There’s a very good alternative message up thread but here’s another one:

I’ve been doing some thinking about this relationship and unless I’ve missed something important, I think it’s run its course. I’m looking for a committed relationship where both of us are sure of each other. I don’t want to be in a situation where things blow hot and cold. I’m not sure you’re looking for a long-term, exclusive relationship at present. That’s fine - but I am. All the best.

It sounds from your message that you're talking to a guy who has already lost interest.
His behaviour has changed, reduced messaging and actively looking for other dates.
When this happens, you have literally no power in the relationship (only the power to end it). So you can say what you like, and lay down any ultimatum you choose. You're whistling in the wind, because he doesn't care. In fact I can just imagine his bored expression as he sees that lengthy missive.
This guy will probably see you again if he feels like it, but he doesn't care much one way or the other. So you're on a hiding to nothing telling him you're not interested unless he stops seeing other people. This message is not about wanting to be on the same page. It's you hoping he will pick exclusivity because he's frightened to lose you.
He won't, because he isn't.

Oh, OP.

You can't make people care. They either do or don't - and from what you've said in your message, it sounds like whoever the recipient is in this case doesn't care very much.

If it makes you feel better sending it, go for it. But just know you're unlikely to get the response you want, or that it'll change anything for the better. You may even in time come to regret sending it. I think often when writing messages like this, we imagine what we'd like the other person to respond - or maybe what we'd say if we got a message like that. But very, very rarely does it turn out like that.

I've sent long, heartfelt messages in the past, hoping I'd get the answer or response I wanted. But if you're even having to write messages like this in a first place, it should be a clear warning sign to you that you won't. You won't have to be writing that sort of thing with the right person.

He'll never give you what you want/need. You know this, that's why you're settling for "scraps". But if you're being honest with yourself, you also know that won't ever be enough. So what's the point? Just move on.

Just no op.

That's a grovelly text that's far too long and all about you looking at it.

If your going to send anything why not just

Hey
I know you said casual so I just want to be clear on that.
If your not looking for exclusivity this isn't for me.