How does this message read ? Want to be sure we're on same page

[fhiuredch]

but I just want to be 100% clear this time so there’s no room for confusion or upset again!!! And we’re on the same page.

I know you have loads going on and I really do understand that but I do want to spend some time with you and maybe get the occasional date/wine & chill 😉 night when time allows!! If we can go back to how it was a few weeks back with our usual contact (I’m not happy I haven’t had my good morning text in the last month 😔and I hate feeling like I shouldn’t text… never used to worry about it before) and seeing each other when we can then great I’m all for it 😍

I know you can’t give me everything/a lot at present and if all you can do for the moment is more casual then I’m happy to just be “seeing you” but… if I’m seeing/sleeping with someone regularly for a prolonged period of time then I do expect the same respect, exclusivity and loyalty that I’m giving them, because you will 100% be getting it from me.

But please be perfectly clear that if you are talking, dating, sleeping with others then I can NOT do this! You know I like you a lot and I don’t deserve to be hurt like that. I am a really really good person who doesn’t sleep around and deserves more than that.

Obviously I know you’ve recently signed up to bumble so if I’m not enough to keep you happy and satisfied 🤷‍♀️ and your intention is just to have me on the side while your looking for what you do want or just to sleep with as many girls as you can then I can not do this!!!! So the kindest thing you could do in that instance would be not to reply to this, block me and just let me get over you xx

*find sorry rather than didn’t

People who have any hope of being on the same page don't need forums to vet their communications.

A healthy relationship means feeling your feelings, and being able to express them, even if it's awkward or difficult. You don't need to write involved messages and ask strangers to check them over for you.

I'd say "Its become obvious we're both looking for different things. As much as I enjoyed our time together a few weeks ago, things have changed. This is not what I'm looking for longer term and for as long we continue to see each other casually it's preventing me from finding a committed relationship elsewhere. It was fun while it lasted & I wish you all the best in what you are looking for"

Takes away the power from him but makes it obvious you're ending it because he's not giving you what you want and deserve.

@LavenderLaughs - this post really made me laugh 😅😅

And I agree entirely. Please don't send that message OP.

@Janieforever has got it spot on with her suggestion.

SEND HIM THIS!

Do NOT send this person your fawning original message.

FFS get some self-respect. He is NOT into you. Let it go. And honestly have a think about what your motivation is here. You shouldn’t have to convince a guy to be with you. And please know this — men do not communicate in waffle. Just get to the point.

Please share this with a real life friend so they can save you from this utter embarrassment.

You deserve so much better than what that guy is offering.

Exactly this. Please find shame and do not send this message

I'm another one who will join in with eating your phone.

Don't sent it, OP. Do. Not. Send. It.

You've already split up once. He's on a dating app. You want an exclusive relationship.

This relationship is a mess and should be over.

There are better men out there if you want one. "Better alone than badly accompanied".

Preferably send nothing and block him - you can do better than occasional crumbs of affection

Do not send it.

Block his number.

Call a therapist and get help with your boundaries, you don't appear to have any.

No. No. No. Never beg for someone's attention. Never beg someone to treat you well.

"I have been thinking, and I have decided that this relationship is just not working for me anymore. Good luck with everything. Fhiuredch."

Then go find someone who doesn't make you feel like writing needy begging messages in an attempt to make you feel wanted.

No I wouldn’t send this please don’t. I don’t think this will end well, it’s too anguished. Even if he deletes bumble now he’s just going to have sex with you but not commit this is not the way to go about building something meaningful

I was just about to say if you were my friend I would be confiscating your phone until you had come to your senses. But then I saw that somebody else had suggested eating it which is a much better idea.

What @hev126 says above.

And I agree with everyone else. I can see what you were trying to do but you should expect more for yourself. Good luck x

Christ.
No.
Good luck.

Gosh.

Relationships shouldn't be this complicated.

If you even have to think about sending this message, just end things.

Too much faffing and trying to read minds

@Burnamer has nailed it.

Sorry.

No need for such a long groveling. Just say,

‘I’m so desperate I’m begging you please throw me a crumb!’

Op. Listen. Use your noggin. Instead of these wild emotions that are steering you toward losers. Logic. He will be repulsed and disgusted by your begging. Not that we really care, because he is a loser.

Look at yourself differently. Look at yourself in the cold beautiful light of truth. You are above him. He is below you in the gutter. You will not settle for a loser. Instead you will raise your standards into the stratosphere far above the depths of the earth’s crust where they currently reside.

When you do that, you won’t have these types of problems anymore.

Go forth and conquer.

You are worth more than this. He is not the man for you. Don’t send this message. Block him and find someone who will give you the love and respect you deserve!

If you must message and actually want to keep seeing him (which is a bad idea but heyho) I'd go with

'So whats the deal, are we doing this thing or are we not? Cause time is precious. I want genuine people in my life who are happy to make time for me. If you can't manage that, fine. But let's not fanny about. If you're in you're in. If you're not, be honest. Because if I feel anything less than something 'real' going forwards, I'm just going to call it a day. Heads up. Make your choice'.

It's too long and needy. You need to have this conversation in person.

On one hand youve said if all he wants is casual thats fine, but In your next paragraph you said you won't stand for him talking to others /dating others. You're trying to give him an ultimatum but he doesn't want to be serious, it's simple as. He's just not that into you

(And if he replies with anything less than full commitment to pursuing something with you, tell him thanks but no thanks).