How does this message read ? Want to be sure we're on same page

[fhiuredch]

but I just want to be 100% clear this time so there’s no room for confusion or upset again!!! And we’re on the same page.

I know you have loads going on and I really do understand that but I do want to spend some time with you and maybe get the occasional date/wine & chill 😉 night when time allows!! If we can go back to how it was a few weeks back with our usual contact (I’m not happy I haven’t had my good morning text in the last month 😔and I hate feeling like I shouldn’t text… never used to worry about it before) and seeing each other when we can then great I’m all for it 😍

I know you can’t give me everything/a lot at present and if all you can do for the moment is more casual then I’m happy to just be “seeing you” but… if I’m seeing/sleeping with someone regularly for a prolonged period of time then I do expect the same respect, exclusivity and loyalty that I’m giving them, because you will 100% be getting it from me.

But please be perfectly clear that if you are talking, dating, sleeping with others then I can NOT do this! You know I like you a lot and I don’t deserve to be hurt like that. I am a really really good person who doesn’t sleep around and deserves more than that.

Obviously I know you’ve recently signed up to bumble so if I’m not enough to keep you happy and satisfied 🤷‍♀️ and your intention is just to have me on the side while your looking for what you do want or just to sleep with as many girls as you can then I can not do this!!!! So the kindest thing you could do in that instance would be not to reply to this, block me and just let me get over you xx

@fhiuredch please don’t send that message. Isn’t it obvious when reading your message back that he only wants casual with you and will be looking elsewhere for more serious. You are basically saying you will still sleep with him and accept his bread crumbs as long as he tells you he’s not sleeping with anyone else and texts you good morning. It doesn’t matter if he dresses up “casual” for you by these things, he’s still just not that into you. If I were you, I would move on from this guy and find someone who is all about you.

For the love of God don't send this. You are better than this and deserve better than him. Sending it will not help you and will not heal your heart. He's a fuckwit, plain and simple.

Yeah do not send that text!! I'd speak in person or cut ties OP

Exactly. Your message is so this.

in my experience say what you want in talking the next time you see him.

eg dave I need to be certain we are on the same page - do you want us both to be exclusive?

he says yes - fine excellent move on
he says no - either you say ok 👍 and see him and he’s your crumb guy or you say 👍ok thought so happy to be friends but actually I want a proper adult relationship and I can’t do that if we are having a thing on the side.

please don’t beg or play games - you are worth more

You sound needy and are giving him an excuse to use you.

Farrrk me OP… please do NOT send that. You need to start working on showing some respect and love to yourself.
Block him, move on.

Don’t send that. 🤦🏻‍♀️

You sound desperate and he’ll keep using you.

End it, block him and work on your self esteem.

Do not send that.

It sounds like you're on your knees pleasing with him.

That will be a massive turn off for most but equally if he's a wrong 'un it gives him the green light to walk all over you.

You shouldn't have to beg in any relationship.

It might be good if you can give some more background/context as we don't know the situation you'd be sending it in?

I'm guessing you used to have a more fill in relationship but he is now pulling back/not being consistent but can you give some more detail? Also, were you exclusive but separated when he joined bumble or has it never been exclusive?

That was meant to say 'pleading' not pleasing.

I would be joining you in crunching on the phone.

OP, sending that message or anything resembling it would be an act of self-harm. Basically, you are flagging up all your vulnerabilities and giving him a free pass to mistreat you as long as he mouths a couple of platitudes or actually tells lies.

Good god no don't send that.

Block him and forget him

'Sometimes, you just have to accept that the guy you like doesn't feel the same way. When you find yourself wondering, "Why isn't he calling? Why doesn't he care?" it's time to move on to the other fish in the sea—there are plenty of them. As much as it hurts, you have to face the reality that he's just not that into you—and then move on. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you wonder how they feel about you!'

www.wikihow.com/Accept-That-He%27s-Just-Not-That-Into-You#:~:text=Stop%20making%20excuses%20for%20his%20behavior.&text=He%20may%20have%20gotten%20hurt,try%20to%20fix%20the%20situation.

God are you with my ex???! Sounds like he's got you good like he did me! Don't send it, fuck him off, if he liked you he would want you for himself. The part about not having much time sounds exactly like when my ex said he had too much work on to have a gf and I actually accepted that 🤣🤣🤣 I'm a bloody headteacher and found the time 🙈

Oh my god do not send that….I didn’t even read most of it and the recipient won’t either. You are on different pages …block, delete and move on as they say!

Why are you scraping the very bottom of a very shitty barrel?

he signed up to Bumble… let him get on with his busy busy bees.

he’s not that into you love. You know this. So stop chasing him and looking so desperate

text him by all means and say, I think things have changed from how they were before, shame but it takes 2 to make a relationship so you wish him well finding the right one for him. You’re not going to wait around or accept being merely an option.

have some fucking self esteem love! He’s lucky to have you! Now work on yourself until you believe it!

No. He'll skim the waffle and deduce that you're invested.

NO do not send this OP! You sound desperate and needy. If you really need to message, you only need to say something like "I'm not sure we're looking for the same thing, I don't want just a casual dating situation so I'm going to call it a day."
That's the vibe. The vibe for knowing your worth!

Your message is basically giving him permission to use you for sex and begging him to be exclusive with you. It shouldn't be that hard work, OP. Move on and wait for someone better who actually values you!

He’ll keep messing you around if you say that.

So the kindest thing you could do in that instance would be not to reply to this, block me and just let me get over you xx

why is this all in his power and control?

you’ve stated all kinds of things that are deal breakers for you and yet by sending a message even a fraction of what you’re saying here is giving a green light to treat you like an utter mug.

Don't send that message.

He's told you exactly and clearly what he is offering. Casual.

If that's not what you want then end things.

Please try and get some self respect. You are begging for crumbs here.

I am so so sorry that you didn’t yourself having to spend your time agonising over a text message to a man who is clearly making no effort. You deserve someone who likes you as much as you like them. Forget worrying about the wording. If this was your future husband you wouldn’t have to be worrying about this. If you can bear i, stop messaging and keep your own options open.

I spent years trying to keep relationships going and it never worked in my favour. When I met my husband I realised what a waste of time it is!

look after yourself and put yourself first

If this guy were interested in you, you'd know. The right guy for you will not require you to beg and plead like you are doing in this message, it'll just be easy, free flowing communication. Please do not send ANY message to this man. He's signed up to Bumble, he is not interested in you. Walk away silently and with your head held high.