How does this message read ? Want to be sure we're on same page

[fhiuredch]

but I just want to be 100% clear this time so there’s no room for confusion or upset again!!! And we’re on the same page.

I know you have loads going on and I really do understand that but I do want to spend some time with you and maybe get the occasional date/wine & chill 😉 night when time allows!! If we can go back to how it was a few weeks back with our usual contact (I’m not happy I haven’t had my good morning text in the last month 😔and I hate feeling like I shouldn’t text… never used to worry about it before) and seeing each other when we can then great I’m all for it 😍

I know you can’t give me everything/a lot at present and if all you can do for the moment is more casual then I’m happy to just be “seeing you” but… if I’m seeing/sleeping with someone regularly for a prolonged period of time then I do expect the same respect, exclusivity and loyalty that I’m giving them, because you will 100% be getting it from me.

But please be perfectly clear that if you are talking, dating, sleeping with others then I can NOT do this! You know I like you a lot and I don’t deserve to be hurt like that. I am a really really good person who doesn’t sleep around and deserves more than that.

Obviously I know you’ve recently signed up to bumble so if I’m not enough to keep you happy and satisfied 🤷‍♀️ and your intention is just to have me on the side while your looking for what you do want or just to sleep with as many girls as you can then I can not do this!!!! So the kindest thing you could do in that instance would be not to reply to this, block me and just let me get over you xx

No no no

God don’t send that, I’m cringing for you. Pathetic!

Well I can’t speak for everyone but I certainly have not (and will not) “plead with a man”.
Your self esteem is almost as low as op’s if you think that’s a mainstream thing for women to do.

You’re literally begging this man for a crumb. Just let it go

I've never pleaded but I have on occasion given one too many chances if I've liked someone in the past in the hope they might eventually start treating me right. Not many times but enough to cringe at!

In fact, I suppose I sent one message that could be construed as pleading although not meant that way- different circumstances. He behaved wrongly and made it my fault, I went too far to apologise for reacting despite all friends saying not to. It doesn't eat me away every night I get a little 'grr!' Now and again and wish I had kept my dignity.

It's why I am more than happy to urge the OP to keep her head high and move on, freeing her up for someone who is focussed on her.

What are you hoping to achieve with this message?

You sound very needy and desperate. Don’t send it and end contact with him. He’s a user:

IME men are simple, if they are into you they make it clear, if they are not, they also make that clear,
it sounds like he’s not into you and stringing you along. Go and find someone who is mad for you and makes you feel a million dollars it honestly feels so much better than this!

Oh no OP absolutely not!

You are saying that you will accept whatever crumbs he can give you.
And that you know he is dating others and whilst you will NOT accept this you are wanting him to lie because you know this is true!

Please delete and move on

You've placed the ball completely in his court with this thinking.

Nope. The ball is in YOUR court and you need to rethink this whole situation.

I am glad you posted that message here, you've got what you needed to, written out. Now do not copy and paste it again into a message.

OP, I was in a kind of similar situation. My guy started messaging me less. So what I did is keep super busy, go out a lot, answer one out of his 3 messages. Without spelling it out, he got the hint and started pushing for more meets/ messaging more. Ours was never casual as I don't do casual

In your case, I would really simply block and delete. He'll find a woman who knows her worth and is confident and he'll dump you without compunction.

Instead, take the power back and either send a breezy "sorry this is not working for me" or block and delete.

Good luck

What everyone else said. Put your phone in the fridge, lock it in the car, throw it out of the bloody window before you press send on that message. Please.

Please don't send this.
Either just pull back or text him to say you think you're after different things. Nothing more though, no telling him you'll take whatever he can offer you....

Have some therapy Op and find out why you have low self confidence and arent setting better boundaries.

Please don't send it. It comes across like you have no self respect and that you're begging for crumbs while knowing that he's never going to want to give you any more.

And if he takes you up on that, then he's probably not the person that you want to be with, and he won't ever respect you or take you seriously. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh.

Just ask him to confirm if he wants to be exclusive, and if not then that's fine. No hard feelings, and best of luck.

Than delete his number.

You deserve better

Work on your self esteem until you believe that

And aim higher than this guy. He's using you until someone better comes along

Don't send it. Delete the draft.
It sounds desperate and needy .
It has obviously run its course, cut your losses and move on .

(Sorry if you feel a few of these replies are harsh, but honestly if you send it, you'll cringe looking back in a few weeks time!)

I'd go with: "I like seeing you, but if you want to see other people as well, then I'm going to give it a miss, as that's not really for me"

I can't judge you OP, I've sent so many ridiculous messages men over the course of my adult life but please don't send it. Bin him off.

Doormat, needy and walk all over me material. Bin it

Please op, I’m begging you. Please tell me you didn’t send that! 😱

I think it's sounds way too long winded, a bit desperate and will probably put them off you.

I would just get straight to the point

'Hi hope you're well, just wanted to make a few things clear to avoid any confusion in case you're getting the wrong end of the stick with me.
I've really enjoyed spending time with you but Im looking for a serious relationship not a casual one so if you're not on the same page can you please let me know so neither of us are wasting each other's time.
If you want to meet up and talk about this let me know x

Agree

Agree

IF you want casual with him (you clearly want more but you're accepting scraps as it's all he'll give you) or with anyone then you set the rules!! Believe you are the prize as for casual you can have your pick of anyone. Something along the lines of waiting for him to get in touch and then stating your boundaries and expectations in person like a grown woman when you seee him and make it very clear you will go get your causal or otherwise romantic time elsewhere if he's not up to standard. Have some self respect.

Please read lalalaletmeexplain book block delete move on