Is anyone up to talk?

[Namechange08]

Testing name change

We'll be here tomorrow too, and beyond, while you take big steps to get the hell out of there x

What do you want to do?

People have told you he has assaulted you. Not for the first time.

You have a small child to protect.

He refuses to leave your house.

If you don't call the police what are you going to do?

Apologies. Cross post
I'm glad you're speaking the police tomorrow

I just worry when I see posts from women clearly in shock and it's not clear it's all really sunk in.

Please take care. I'm concerned his violence has escalated.

I am going to call them tomorrow. He will absolutely refuse to leave if it is just me telling him to.

I can’t believe this is happening.

Thank you so much x

I am absolutely in shock. I’d minimised the first incident as an accident. But there’s no getting away from this one.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Please, please leave this man. Take it from one who knows that this will not stop or get better. He will do it again despite what he says and next time it will be more serious. There is no future with a man like this but more humiliation, fear and misery. You and your daughter deserve better.

In the morning don’t let in you are planning to take action, please. A locksmith can change the locks and you can refuse to let this vile man in ever again.

Keep us posted and try to get some sleep x

Thank you so much. I don’t think sleep will come very easily tonight.

Gosh sorryt that’s happened tonight but you know it won’t stop. It will get worse - this is physical and emotional abusive behaviour - so yes call 101 tomorrow and are you ready to leave him?

Once you've got shot of him can you get anyone to come and stay with you? How old are older DC and are they his DC too?

Older two have a different father - they’re late primary/ early secondary. I don’t think anyone can stay really, I’d probably rather be on my own.

You can't piss about with this. Believe me the abuse has and will continue to escalate. Frankly he could kill you or your DC. This is how abusers behave when they are having an affair and see you as a barrier to their freedom. Sorry. Please, please speak to the police tonight and say he has violently assaulted you twice of late, children in house, he is unpredictable and frightening and you need him out. Get a restraining order. I'm really sorry but I don't think you can see how dangerous this is. Get out of it 💐.

It warrants the police. While he is at work and DD at nursery can you change the locks?

Or is there somewhere safe you can go?

I’ll be staying, it’s my home with my children. He can leave.

Please speak to women’s aid asap they can help with how to navigate things.

Strangely enough this is exactly how the domestic violence started with my ex husband, he just pinned me down like this out of nowhere and did the same without recording.

What did he expect your dad to think if he saw a man pin his daughter down and being recorded with all the other things like bouncing the bed, surely your dad would see the abuse you should have let him send that! He wouldn’t have sent that but would be good evidence for you to get him charged.

Anyway when I said how it started I mean it got a lot worse, I had many broken bones and traumatised children who are now adults and still dealing with the trauma of seeing and hearing things they shouldn’t have and this went on for 1 year, don’t make the mistake I did and think he will change.

He won’t he will get worse.

This is scary he has issues you need to get away

Still wide awake. I can’t see me sleeping tonight 😔

I don't blame you - just keep chatting to people on here if you need to

As its all quiet now (presumably he is asleep?) I would wait until tomorrow to call (far less distressing for your DD than having the police turn up at night). Call 101 tomorrow and call a locksmith too.

Dont give this man another chance. The support you will find on MN is amazing. xxxx

I assume he is asleep. I can’t hear anything anyway. Yes, 101 and the locksmith are top of my list. Thankfully I WFH so don’t need to go out anywhere apart from the nursery run.

I don’t see how we could possibly come back from this.

So glad to see that you’ll be calling the police in the morning, hopefully he’s kept the evidence for you to show them. He sounds like a nasty individual and from your updates, he’s definitely not going to change. Please don’t hang around to suffer the consequences of his next rage.
Sending strength to you, please know you’re not along through all of this.

Oh gosh I just read this thread. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Agree with everyone though you need police asap even if that is morning when all has calmed down. Having a child in house while it is happening definitely needs you to act on it as sounds like it is all likely to escalate you and little one need to be kept safe.
Depending how you feel in mornimg, you can always called DV helpline for advice too?

www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Oh my goodness - that’s horrific. I don’t mean to be ‘that’ poster who is super negative but I just want to say , if you have a moment of weakness and consider keeping him around, remember that if he loses his temper that badly, he could literally kill you next time. Either deliberately or accidentally. I’d call a locksmith the second he goes to work to change the locks. Pack up his things and take them over to a friends or family members so he can collect them from there. And call the police to log everything and ask for advice. Stay strong! You’re doing the right thing. The last thing you want is your child waking up to find you seriously injured or worse one morning 😢

Be prepared to be told you cannot change locks. As well as police get a formal separation organised. How long have you lived together? Are you married? Sorry this is happening to you. Sadly this will escalate

I absolutely understand how you feel. I've posted about mine very recently.

I too struggled with am I being over dramatic? Is it really that bad?

The truth is I am no help at all apart from I understand how you feel. I don't know why I don't have the same boundaries as other people so please don't feel bad about that.

What he has done is awful. Don't be me and stick it out for years. Think you (and I!) need therapy to understand why we think things like this can be excused.

Someone said to me on my post it's not love, it's trauma bonding. Does that relate to you at all?