Evening everyone,
I need some support/reassurance/advice please.
DH and I are going to start trying for a baby in December. Recently, we somehow got into a conversation about whether he would find me attractive while I'm pregnant. I think I asked because sometimes I have self esteem issues and I am worried about how my body will change during and after pregnancy.
He is always bluntly honest with me, which I appreciate even though sometimes it is hard to hear. However, this time I was simply hurt. He said "I don't know if I will be sexually attracted to you. I don't find pregnant women sexually attractive. It's that there would be a baby in there". He doesn't think he will want to have sex with me at all, to which I replied that I am his wife, surely that would make a difference, and asked if he would at least still find me beautiful. He said yes, but the problem is he finds it incredibly difficult to compliment me even now, so with the potential lack of a sex life while pregnant, he won't even tell me I'm attractive (in a non sexual way). It's already making me feel so sad and unwanted and we haven't even started ttc yet.
I am concerned how this is going to affect our relationship, the strong bond we currently have. Knowing that if I do try to initiate sex I will be rejected and turned down really stings. I'm having a hard time getting my head around the fact that we will only start having sex again when he wants to and starts being attracted to me again.
Even if he is affectionate with hugs etc, it is not the same and I know I will find it difficult to accept it. Sex and intimacy are an important part of our relationship, at least to me.
I am already going to be sacrificing parts of my life to carry our child , my body, my clothes (I know this sounds so petty but I have low self esteem at times and my clothes are a mask and make me feel much better), my social life to an extent. I am choosing to do this happily, but I don't understand why he would do/say this knowing it will also probably mean my self esteem and confidence are sacrificed, feeling unattractive and unwanted.
Sorry for such a long post, I'm just really nervous and sad.
Thank you for reading,
S