Please do not take the ludicrous advice of contacting him for closure, all you are giving him is satisfaction.
You have the closure: He wasn't who you thought he was, and also he was a liar, and also he doesn't give a shit that he's a liar and if he does give a shit he's too much of a coward to do the right thing. There's your closure.
Contacting will do nothing but let him know you still care, and let him know that you're still thinking about him which he does not deserve in any way shape or form.
OP please remember my story, remember what I have told you. It sounds to me like you have got very low self worth and I can relate to it.
What does it mean to you that he has done what he has done? It means that he didn't choose you, that you weren't good enough? Is that what you are telling yourself?
Flip it, and every time you have these shitty thoughts continue to flip it over - the flipside is actually that he is a liar and can't be an honest human being and you don't deserve to be with someone so shitty.
That's the honest truth here. He was a piece of actual shit and that's how he's conducted himself, I know how it feels, I experienced the same thing. Men like this have problems and you are not a rehab program for peoples problems and selfish behaviour.
Please focus on some things you can do for yourself, super important. Here is what I did:
- I got therapy (try betterhelp)
- I got onto anti-depressants (doesn't matter if you have to over egg it to the GP or tell them you feel suicidal/can't function well or whatever just get on some low dose anti-depressants and that will take the edge of temporarily)
- Get into some light exercise, nothing major, something like yoga, pilates, walking around the block
- Get off social media
- Read "Whole Again" which is an excellent book for trauma.
- Get an audible subscription and listen to books to take your attention away from the rumination
- Journal
- Meditate
- Do a mini plan for yourself every single day and do not fill your day with tons of stuff, one or two things is enough right now - eg: change my bedclothes, hoover my lounge, throw out some old clothes
- Plan a haircut/facial/manicure
- Think and write about what you want for your life that doesn't involve a partner (for now) and what you want to achieve in your life.
- Read "Getting Past your Breakup" by Susan Elliott and do the exercises in the book - i'm deadly serious this is a great book. On audible too.
- Clean your car
- Yes delete the photos, trash anything that reminds you of him, that was given to you by him or that gives you bad vibes related to him. Cry your eyes out while doing it but you will feel better after (I did this and it was therapeutic to remove every inch of him off my phone and any memory of him).
Hope these help somewhat but honestly it is hard at first, but right now you are living IN the grief and suffering, do not live IN it. Acknowledge it and ask it what it is trying to tell you. When you get answers that is what you need to work on.