My husband took naked pics of me while I was sleeping and posted them.

[Abagail]

My heart is broken! I woke up the other morning to my husband taking pictures of me on his phone. At first I was just frozen but then I pretended to wake up. He kissed me and said go back to sleep baby and left the room. I didn’t know what to do, so I just pondered it in my heart for a few days. When I asked him about it at first he lied but then he told me the truth. I feel so hurt and sick inside. I have never been alone in my life but I might have to leave him because every time I look at him I feel disgusted. I don’t know if I am being over sensitive because I am looking at the situation through the eyes of someone with childhood trauma.(which he knew about) We have 2 boys and he is an amazing father. They need him in their lives. I am broken!

@Abagail
Divorcing him simply means that he is no longer your husband. He will continue to be their father.However, it reminds to be seen , whether he is the type of father that they need in their lives.

You did not know that he was taking pictures of you. How can you be certain that he has not taken inappropriate pictures of your children?

Clearly, you do not know what this man is capable of doing. I would want this man out of my house as soon as possible or I would take my children and leave. Sometimes, you don't want to stay around and learn more about the horror in your midst .

I don't know how I would feel about him taking pictures of you as you slept. Certainly, he has seen you naked before, but to do this without your permission and then to post them online demonstrates a level of depravity with which I would not want to have in my home. You have no way of knowing where his lines are drawn. Is that a risk to which you are willing to subject yourself and your children?

OP you don't have to yell and get mean in order to be angry at what your husband has done. So don't yell, don't get mean, but do report him.

Your STBXH is most likely involved in a pretty insidious online thing called 'collector culture' - it's where men take pictures of their unknowing naked partners and sell them via snapchat etc. (I suspect that's what he means when he says the images don't stay online. On snapchat once an image is viewed by the recipient it disappears). Then if the person he sent the image to likes it, your husband sells a copy. The "lessor" version of this is sharing images without an exchange of money.

It's grossly violating.

And no good man, let alone a good father, posts pictures of his naked wife online without her knowledge. They just don't.

You must ask to see pics. Maybe he did not take your face? That is still bad but at least no one will know it is you. If he did your face then I think your need to go to counselling together to find out why he did that.

OP, this isn’t the first time he’s done this. It would be INCREDIBLY unfortunate for him if was. This is just the first time he’s been caught. He knew what he was doing. People don’t stumble across sites like that by accident. They have to go looking for them.

He’s been looking at pics of other men’s oblivious naked sleeping wives. Most likely lots of other women who haven’t given consent either. I’m not a prude, and if you’d mutually agreed to share pics then fair enough, fill your boots, but that’s not what’s happened here.

Report him to the police. He’s a sex offender and needs to be treated as such.

I can't get my head round what he's done. Just feel so sad for you and your children. I hope you have some supportive people around you, OP. I would find it difficult to tell people what happened, but I hope you are able to confide in some trusted friends.

Amazing fathers don't commit sex offences, let alone against the mother of their children.

,@Abagail
What possible level of trust can you have in anything this msn could possibly say? There is no reason why he cannot show you the website on which he posted your pictures. I would imagine that you see far more than you expect.

You do not know this man. It is one thing for you to decide to live with a man who has such elastic boundaries and who cannot be trusted. It is a risk that you as an adult can freely take, but is it a risk that you should without careful consideration impose on your children.

He probably only uploaded pictures of you, but you have no idea what others posted on that website. There is a reasonable possibility that many other types of pictures are posted on this websites.

Counselling?

With someone who has committed a sex offence against her?

JFC.

He belongs in jail. And on a register for the rest of his life.

Horrifying. Seriously do consider seeing the police. He might do the same to another woman one day.

Jeez I have never heard of ‘collector culture’ I’m really sickened.

@Abagail you’re in shock. You’ve only found out a couple of days ago. It’s natural you’re trying to find some chink of light in the darkness of all this, some hope he’s still the person you have always believed him to be.

But he’s not.

When you divorce him he’ll meet someone else and carry this abusive behaviour on. You don’t owe him any loyalty. This is a police matter.

OP you need to deal with this head on as this is a huge betrayal of trust. What if he is taking pictures of your children and posting them? You need to call the police so they can investigate

@Abagail it may be that calling the police may be the only way you can ensure that these photos are taken down.

That won't mean that they are not 'out there' still though as they could have been downloaded.

You need help with this, a therapist will only try and make you feel better about what has happened to you, they won't be of any real concrete help.

What your H has done is against the law, you deserve to have yourself protected and your dc,

What?!

So it's ok as long as her face isn't visible and if it is, counselling will sort it out?

He's committed a crime and completely violated her trust.

He is a sex offender, the police should be involved, if only to protect your children. I hate to say it, but suppose he does the same to them.

This is a sex offender. Report. Leave.