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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband took naked pics of me while I was sleeping and posted them.

141 replies

Abagail · 11/07/2023 21:14

My heart is broken! I woke up the other morning to my husband taking pictures of me on his phone. At first I was just frozen but then I pretended to wake up. He kissed me and said go back to sleep baby and left the room. I didn’t know what to do, so I just pondered it in my heart for a few days. When I asked him about it at first he lied but then he told me the truth. I feel so hurt and sick inside. I have never been alone in my life but I might have to leave him because every time I look at him I feel disgusted. I don’t know if I am being over sensitive because I am looking at the situation through the eyes of someone with childhood trauma.(which he knew about) We have 2 boys and he is an amazing father. They need him in their lives. I am broken!

OP posts:
Dery · 11/07/2023 21:55

Really sorry to hear this, OP. Understand that he has offered up your naked form to be screenshotted and wanked over by predatory men. You were asleep and therefore at your most vulnerable. You won’t be able to trust him again. This is likely not the first time he has done this - just the first time he has been caught. You need to involve the police. I’m afraid your marriage is likely at an end.

YukoandHiro · 11/07/2023 21:55

Call the police. He's committed a crime. And leave him. Ideally kick him out.

AgathaX · 11/07/2023 21:56

Speak to the police. It's probably not the first time he's done this. Hopefully they'll be able to trace where he's posted them and get them removed.

He's disgusting. I'm sorry you're going through this. You need to get him out of your home and out of your life.

pontipinemum · 11/07/2023 21:56

Oh my wow!! That is horrible, just terrible. Make him tell you. I would be seriously tempted to go to the police. It is such an invasion and break of your trust.

Babyluigi · 11/07/2023 21:56

You need to call the police

Cosycover · 11/07/2023 21:57

Do you not want to call the police?

ZebraDilemma · 11/07/2023 21:57

thesurreymum · 11/07/2023 21:23

I would be calling the police. I am so sorry this has happened to you.

This.
He is a repulsive abuser, I am sorry this has happened to you. Please seek some RL support. And contact the Police, are you sure this is the first time he has done this?

Nogbadthebad · 11/07/2023 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WesterChick · 11/07/2023 21:58

Is it illegal if I he didn't post the pics online and it was for his own gratification?

Batalax · 11/07/2023 21:59

Reverse image the photo? Would that tell you where it was posted?

wutheringkites · 11/07/2023 21:59

Budikka · 11/07/2023 21:45

If you are concerned, you should seriously call the police.

It might be interesting if you would post here what the police say. It is possible that a crime has been committed.

Just be careful of one thing. This was pointed out to me by a woman who edits a large magazine for women. There are a group of women, a very small percentage of the population, who wait around for new threads to be posted on websites like Mumsnet. They post within minutes of a new thread being posted and their advice usually reflects their own lack of a satisfying personal relationship. So only look and trust any advice given to "leave your husband now!!" a GOOD HOUR after the thread has been posted, to weed out the jealous types who are serial posters within minutes of any thread being newly published.

Are you serious?

Do you really think that posters on this thread are jealous of op's relationship with her husband?

Dullardmullard · 11/07/2023 22:01

Take his phone and go to the police station with it if you can leave the house of course.

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 22:02

I was going to say that you ned to report this to the Police but if you have no proof you can't do that.

Were you nude?

Can you get copies from his 'phone?

I am sorry that this has happened to you.

MumGMT · 11/07/2023 22:04

Budikka · 11/07/2023 21:45

If you are concerned, you should seriously call the police.

It might be interesting if you would post here what the police say. It is possible that a crime has been committed.

Just be careful of one thing. This was pointed out to me by a woman who edits a large magazine for women. There are a group of women, a very small percentage of the population, who wait around for new threads to be posted on websites like Mumsnet. They post within minutes of a new thread being posted and their advice usually reflects their own lack of a satisfying personal relationship. So only look and trust any advice given to "leave your husband now!!" a GOOD HOUR after the thread has been posted, to weed out the jealous types who are serial posters within minutes of any thread being newly published.

Don't be so utterly ridiculous.

What this man has done is absolutely appalling and can cause significant harm, it's also a crime.

No one would be jealous of this relationship, women need to feel safe in their own homes and in their own beds and when they're asleep.

Even people who don't normally say to leave would say to leave under these circumstances.

I would say it's you who has the agenda rather than a different 'group of women' because your post is weird as fuck and not in line with a normal response to the scenario posted.

Pipsquiggle · 11/07/2023 22:07

Just awful OP. I am so sorry

This is a crime, you should go to the police

tunbridgeoutrage · 11/07/2023 22:07

How dare he do that to you?

OP, I am so very very sorry. He has shattered your world. Of course your mind doesn’t want to handle this but you have no choice but to leave him. To stay with him is to betray the child you used to be who experienced childhood trauma. You survived that. Difficult as it is you can survive this. I am sure many on here will have good advice for you. Sending you a hug.

CapEBarra · 11/07/2023 22:08

Your husband has broken the law. It’s an horrific invasion of your privacy and likely not the first time. It’s a betrayal of your trust and blatant contempt for you and his family, putting his own sexual satisfaction above your human rights and safety. I’d be calling the police. I’ll put money on him having frantically deleted everything now. Utter bastard.

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 22:09

Sorry OP I missed the 'naked' bit from the title.

Please take legal advice about this.

ThatFraggle · 11/07/2023 22:10

>I was going to say that you ned to report this to the Police but if you have no proof you can't do that.

That's not true. OP can make a report.

tunbridgeoutrage · 11/07/2023 22:14

Budikka · 11/07/2023 21:45

If you are concerned, you should seriously call the police.

It might be interesting if you would post here what the police say. It is possible that a crime has been committed.

Just be careful of one thing. This was pointed out to me by a woman who edits a large magazine for women. There are a group of women, a very small percentage of the population, who wait around for new threads to be posted on websites like Mumsnet. They post within minutes of a new thread being posted and their advice usually reflects their own lack of a satisfying personal relationship. So only look and trust any advice given to "leave your husband now!!" a GOOD HOUR after the thread has been posted, to weed out the jealous types who are serial posters within minutes of any thread being newly published.

I don’t understand this post. Will the jealous women be telling her to stay with him?

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 22:17

ThatFraggle · 11/07/2023 22:10

>I was going to say that you ned to report this to the Police but if you have no proof you can't do that.

That's not true. OP can make a report.

OK, I stand corrected.

If that is correct, then please do that OP.

Nanny0gg · 11/07/2023 22:20

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 22:02

I was going to say that you ned to report this to the Police but if you have no proof you can't do that.

Were you nude?

Can you get copies from his 'phone?

I am sorry that this has happened to you.

The proof will be on his phone

Nanny0gg · 11/07/2023 22:24

Budikka · 11/07/2023 21:45

If you are concerned, you should seriously call the police.

It might be interesting if you would post here what the police say. It is possible that a crime has been committed.

Just be careful of one thing. This was pointed out to me by a woman who edits a large magazine for women. There are a group of women, a very small percentage of the population, who wait around for new threads to be posted on websites like Mumsnet. They post within minutes of a new thread being posted and their advice usually reflects their own lack of a satisfying personal relationship. So only look and trust any advice given to "leave your husband now!!" a GOOD HOUR after the thread has been posted, to weed out the jealous types who are serial posters within minutes of any thread being newly published.

If she's concerned? Of course she's bloody 'concerned'.

They post within minutes of a new thread being posted and their advice usually reflects their own lack of a satisfying personal relationship. So only look and trust any advice given to "leave your husband now!!" a GOOD HOUR after the thread has been posted, to weed out the jealous types who are serial posters within minutes of any thread being newly published.

I posted within 2 minutes. My advice has been the same as everyone else (bar you)

And believe me, there is nothing about the OP's relationship to be jealous of!

WTF is wrong with you?

sopeas · 11/07/2023 22:25

Oh my god, please call the police immediately. Is there anywhere you and the children can go tonight to safely get away from him? You are not safe at home. The police need to be involved and he needs to be removed from the home before you and the children can safely return and they need to comb through all of his electronics. God knows what else he has done or how long this has gone on for. Thoughts are with you OP, please get yourself and children to safety x

Mama678 · 11/07/2023 22:27

This is worrying. You cant trust him. Wtf! Hes not a good father. Is he only taking naked pictures of you or the boys too? You need to get hold of his phone and do some snooping but i would also get police advice. Get rid of him

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