Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband took naked pics of me while I was sleeping and posted them.

141 replies

Abagail · 11/07/2023 21:14

My heart is broken! I woke up the other morning to my husband taking pictures of me on his phone. At first I was just frozen but then I pretended to wake up. He kissed me and said go back to sleep baby and left the room. I didn’t know what to do, so I just pondered it in my heart for a few days. When I asked him about it at first he lied but then he told me the truth. I feel so hurt and sick inside. I have never been alone in my life but I might have to leave him because every time I look at him I feel disgusted. I don’t know if I am being over sensitive because I am looking at the situation through the eyes of someone with childhood trauma.(which he knew about) We have 2 boys and he is an amazing father. They need him in their lives. I am broken!

OP posts:
Mama678 · 11/07/2023 22:28

I wonder also if hes recording you naked around the house?

sopeas · 11/07/2023 22:33

Mama678 · 11/07/2023 22:28

I wonder also if hes recording you naked around the house?

This would be my concern aswell. What a complete and utter violation. Terrifying that he’s done this to his wife and mother of his children. I’d be beside myself with worry that he’d photographed or filmed the children too. This man is not right in the head and I really hope the OP gets the police involved!!

Hibiscrubbed · 11/07/2023 22:40

Taking photos is one thing. Posting then someone is unbelievably appalling. Leave.

WesterChick · 11/07/2023 22:42

Hibiscrubbed · 11/07/2023 22:40

Taking photos is one thing. Posting then someone is unbelievably appalling. Leave.

If it was without her knowledge and for his own gratification would that be ok?

tunbridgeoutrage · 11/07/2023 22:51

WesterChick · 11/07/2023 22:42

If it was without her knowledge and for his own gratification would that be ok?

Show quote history

Why are you asking? Anything done without her consent is appalling.

Izzy54321 · 11/07/2023 22:52

Please please call the police call them tomorrow if you don’t want to upset your children. But please leave safely as soon as you can. He is an abusive w**r and my worry is he is selling them. I’m so sorry OP.

cheshirebloke · 11/07/2023 22:55

He's a sick bastard and you need to report him to the police. He certainly isn't a good father, in fact you have a duty to protect your children from this monster. If he's prepared to do this to his wife, then he's also capable of doing the same to your children.

Beaverbridge · 11/07/2023 22:58

Wtaf????. Police and report. That's shocking.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 11/07/2023 23:14

WesterChick · 11/07/2023 22:42

If it was without her knowledge and for his own gratification would that be ok?

Show quote history

I think that Hibi means that taking photos is bad but posting them is worse.

Itstimetoquit · 11/07/2023 23:43

Omg this is so wrong,i would report it to the police and kick his vile ass out!

billy1966 · 12/07/2023 00:41

100% a police matter.

He is a criminal creep.

Report him.

Clearly you have NO idea who or what he is.

Involve the police.

Tell family and friends too.

Hibiscrubbed · 12/07/2023 17:52

WesterChick · 11/07/2023 22:42

If it was without her knowledge and for his own gratification would that be ok?

Show quote history

Of course not. I was merely illustrating that he’s taken it to a whole new level of shocking. Why on Earth pick on my post? The whole thing is outrageous and now, a crime.

perfectcolourfound · 12/07/2023 18:02

Please please tell the police, op.

This is really serious. It shows a complete and utter lack of respect for you. He sees you as a commodity, a lump of flesh, there for men to enjoy, without our consent.

That isn't a loving man.

You don't need to have evidence to tell the police. He's told you he's done it, that's all the 'evidence' you need. The Police may be able to find evidence, but even if they don't, them talking to him might just frighten him enough to never do this vile thing again.

Either way, please leave him. You can't ever trust him again.

TheoTheopolis23 · 12/07/2023 18:41

Just be careful of one thing. This was pointed out to me by a woman who edits a large magazine for women. There are a group of women, a very small percentage of the population, who wait around for new threads to be posted on websites like Mumsnet. They post within minutes of a new thread being posted and their advice usually reflects their own lack of a satisfying personal relationship. So only look and trust any advice given to "leave your husband now!!" a GOOD HOUR after the thread has been posted, to weed out the jealous types who are serial posters within minutes of any thread being newly published.

Yes, women advise other women - whom they don't know and will never know and will not know if they actually left - to leave their partner because they are jealous of other women being in relationships, because they are sad, pathetic, jealous spinsters who haven't got a man of their own.

Wise up.

Misogynist.

Zarataralara · 12/07/2023 19:07

I’d call the police, have him arrested if possible, throw the bloody book at him. He is vile.

sopeas · 12/07/2023 20:49

@Abagail Any updates OP? I’ve been thinking about you since I read your post x

Cupcakekiller · 12/07/2023 20:51

Phone the police.

Original poster
Abagail · 12/07/2023 21:02

I have been reading the posts from people. I am not am angry person, so I don’t yell or get mean. I just feel really sad, and have asked my husband to separate. I am going to see a therapist next week. I won’t be involving the police or anyone like that. I really hope he will tell me the site he posted them on, but he said it’s not a site where the pictures stay. I don’t know for sure, we are still talking. Thanks for reaching out.

OP posts:
tunbridgeoutrage · 12/07/2023 21:02

tunbridgeoutrage · 11/07/2023 22:51

Why are you asking? Anything done without her consent is appalling.

Show quote history

Sorry. Think i've got hold of the wrong end of the stick. Wouldn't be the first time.

WesterChick · 12/07/2023 21:04

HibiScrubbed I'm not meaning to pick on your post x I'm projecting... might have been subject to similar but I don't think he's shared anything

sopeas · 12/07/2023 21:28

Abagail · 12/07/2023 21:02

I have been reading the posts from people. I am not am angry person, so I don’t yell or get mean. I just feel really sad, and have asked my husband to separate. I am going to see a therapist next week. I won’t be involving the police or anyone like that. I really hope he will tell me the site he posted them on, but he said it’s not a site where the pictures stay. I don’t know for sure, we are still talking. Thanks for reaching out.

You really should be phoning the police, what he has done is illegal and you’ve no idea for how long he’s been doing it. Regardless of what he is saying about the site once something is out there on the internet screenshots can be taken and shared elsewhere. You are not safe. You’re children are not safe. This man is a monster. Please leave and get to safety.

Dullardmullard · 12/07/2023 21:50

Abagail · 12/07/2023 21:02

I have been reading the posts from people. I am not am angry person, so I don’t yell or get mean. I just feel really sad, and have asked my husband to separate. I am going to see a therapist next week. I won’t be involving the police or anyone like that. I really hope he will tell me the site he posted them on, but he said it’s not a site where the pictures stay. I don’t know for sure, we are still talking. Thanks for reaching out.

He’s lying pics stay they are forever on the internet if what he’s saying is true he’d tell you what site , why he won’t tell you cos there is more on there that’s why.

they will be viewed over and over mine where and are still out there.

don’t get sad get mad and report him to the police so you can protect yourself and the kids.

Izzy54321 · 12/07/2023 22:10

Even though you’re not an angry person which is commendable most of the time!! This is a time where you should be angry I’m worried for you that he has been posting on sites that will pay for such photos. We cannot tell you what to do OP we can only say what we would do and I believe about 99% of posters have said contact the police, myself included. I hope that therapy can help you process what your STBEX has done. It seems he is continuing to lie by not sitting you down and telling you everything. I’m very sorry that he is a disgusting human being he is not a good husband and most certainly not a good father. A good man would not do this to his wife or the mother of his children. I know that you are putting your children first by not calling the police. But I still hope that you change your mind because he will do this again and again get a lock in your bedroom door.

RachelTopliss · 12/07/2023 22:12

wutheringkites · 11/07/2023 21:19

He's not an amazing father.

Amazing fathers don't do things like this.

Why do women always say they're an amazing dad when they're pure sleazes or abusive bullies?

WesterChick · 12/07/2023 22:17

Guessing I'm not the only one who's reading this and feeling solidarity with the OP