Adultwork account found

[Lilliebelle]

I found a adultwork account on my husbands phone I came across it through his saved passwords when I logged in I found messages dated back last year! There where two one wasn’t replied to the other was and they were discussing booking a 30 min slot asked if she did early times she’s replied what day is best for you and then that was it nothing else was exchanged! I’ve confronted him about what I found and he’s just denying that it’s him he’s never seen the account or knows anything about it! ‘It’s not me’
i want to believe him but I think I’d be stupid if I did the user name and password that was saved to his phone wasn’t actually correct when I tried to log in it said wrong details so I put his email address in and it sent a email with a user name and password reminder over and that is how I got access to the account, so his email address his registered only other details on the account is his DOB which is correct the password is not something he would usually use but it has a number in it that I use for passwords that he is aware of I just feel devastated and what’s making it worse is that he’s denying it all and it’s making me second guess myself he gave me his email password because he’s saying he’s been hacked so I wanted to see if there is any other emails from them like the account set up date etc but I can’t find anything on there other than the 2 messages there is nothing in there but they are dated back a year ago I looked at one of the ladies he messaged and searched her on the internet and she’s lives locally to us 😢i came across a different site where men have left reviews! I’ve begged him to just admit it he won’t I just won’t someone that doesn’t know me to tell me if this could be a hack or if he’s just lying to me and I’m falling for it !!! 😢

These guys always try to make it about their partner, and get her to take responsibility. It's clear from what you've said that you're already thinking along those lines.

This is not about you, it is about him.

Also any talk about themselves is always minimising and excusing and playing boo boo poor me, I'm in a bad place, I'm this, that and the other, I need support. Selfish manipulation. The same selfishness that led them to try to cheat and to conveniently ignore any questions about prostituted women coming through again.

Repeatedly asking him puts him in the position of the gatekeeper of the truth and communicates to him that it only becomes true if he says so.

Until then your own experiences, what you’ve seen and found are not enough. It seems it needs to be approved by him to be true.

Your marriage is over. He is emotionally abusing you. Lying and gaslighting is emotional abuse. You can accept that and plan to divorce or ride it out in a state of misery until it happens again.

Have you given him the opportunity come clean in the face of divorce? Maybe the cold hard fact of the truth vs divorce?

maybe this is all blown up out of proportion. The site isn’t very forgiving and neither am I but sometimes things aren’t black and white. You have to work in the grey to get to the bottom of it.

it could well be that he was drinking, got horny and the thought of going to a sex worker turned him on. It does not mean he went. But he does need to ell you the truth

maybe this is all blown up out of proportion

How does a married/partnered man in a monogamous relationship setting up an account on a prostitution site and messaging prostitutes on it, including trans sexual ones (if that's all he's done) get "blown out of proportion"?

You're in a relationship where you argue all the time, your sex life is pathetic and your DP is sleeping with prostitutes; is this really how you want to spend your time on earth?

Life is short, each day matters. Don't waste anymore of your time with this man; leave him.

Seriously!!!

no men get drunk and horny and want to shag their partners not sex workers

he’s made an account not hacked but an account on adultwork he’s a punter and most likely done it for awhile.

I’d be inclined to tell him because of his lies your leaving

also get an STI check too

The worst crime here is the gaslighting. They think you’re fucking stupid. Don’t prove them right.

So did his newly found depression cause him to be hacked?! Honestly this guy is full of shit. I’m so sorry OP.

They sound legit! 😅

If I posted that I’d found phone numbers for male escorts when I logged into my DWs phone and asked for advice, I’d be ripped apart for looking at her phone.

No, you'd be told that a relationship in which you feel the need to snoop isn't a healthy relationship to be in.

You'd also be told that it's completely normal to be disgusted by someone (man or woman) seeking escorts and that you should end the relationship as you're being cheated on.

Your point being what? That the one in the wrong is the op and not her partner??

He's realised the "hacked" story may not being swallowed and he needs to start laying down a narrative in case it isn't swallowed, and in case op finds any other evidence he can't get rid of in time.

Olifer,Your point being what? That the one in the wrong is the op and not her partner??
no my point being it’s ok for women to look at partners phone but not men and as to what she found, from that point I agree it’s certainly not a good relationship and she probably does need to look at leaving

You're purposefully cherry picking certain posts on here from the anti snoop brigade.

Fact is, if a poster on here finds out something very incriminating from a bit of snooping, most posters don't mention the snooping at all ... They concentrate on encouraging her to act according to what she found, which is usually infidelity with a non sex worker, or infidelity that is hard to prove with a sex worker, and on supporting her.

Most posters don't mention snooping at all in this context.

Very occasionally a poster might mention snooping; and posters like me tell them to wind their neck in. When snooping is vindicated, and when it's often the result of (correct) instincts and previous behaviour and other signs; it's perfectly justified imho. Thousands of people would never find out stuff and never leave and waste their lives of they didn't snoop. It's a necessity. They can then have the autonomy over their lives (and often health) that their partner has taken away from them.

This would be the same for a male or female poster.

You're trumping up an issue that barely exists. When snooping is vindicated on this site, virtually noone mentions it.

TheoTheopolis23 · Today 08:59
Ok, point taken, I don’t disagree at all that the op should look very carefully at the relationship they are in and probably need to leave, I do however stand by the original comment which was not anti snooping if you read it rather the different reactions to female and males who comment they have looked at partners accounts

As someone who is on AW if the woman is showing her number he would have moved from the messages to phone. Often guys who sign up will have already directly called or text women on there. They only sign up when they are after video content or wish to contact a woman who is not showing her number.
Most men who use this site have two phones and an email address you unlikely know about. It is not possible to be hacked and use this site there are too many complexities involved.
Unfortunately the reality of the world is most women have no idea who they are married to. It’s the men you would never believe to be doing it. Many are super smart with hiding what they do there are also many who get caught out and women stay believing it won’t happen again. It always does! Men who choose to cheat simply believe they are allowed to do whatever they want and no one should tell them different not even their wives. They believe as long as they don’t get caught no one gets hurt. They show everything you want to see with guilt and regret and once they have your trust again they realise how easy it was to get away with it.
So if you like your life as it is don’t go looking for deceit because the fact you are looking means you already know. You will simply drive yourself crazy doubting yourself because women want to see the best in their men.
I’ve rarely seen a man get caught out and be worse off for being caught. I have however seen women destroyed over a man getting caught. She either chooses to stay knowing he won’t change or she will lose her way of life in a divorce process. As someone who has also worked in family law I can tell you it’s rare a man does right in the divorce process when he has been caught cheating.
I am sharing all this because women need to be smart about their plan forward when confronting cheaters.
I do my job because it pays well, it stops me from settling into a relationship and I get to see what men are really like. And for me that keeps me more sane than falling in love and having a man make me out to be crazy just because he refuses to be honest.

@Tommyg444444444 reported