I think this is too much of an age gap for me

[Sh179]

I've known this man through friends for many years, but he asked me out a while ago. Initially I was unsure because I've always been happy when single and after last breakup I decided to remain so. We've had two dates. He's known my age for a while but never told me his and was a bit reluctant when I asked. So I'm 47 and he's almost 65. I was a bit shocked as I thought maybe 61 at most. To be honest, I don't think I want to be with someone that much older than me. Is this understandable?

Brilliant advice- thank you!

I spent too much time on dates with a man with a moustache and who wore a maroon velvet jacket because I felt too guilty telling him I didn't want to go out with him again.

Fuck me, if only beautiful young women had the confidence and entitlement of middle aged & elderly men.

The beautiful young women are picking theor looks apart and getting lip fillers, meanwhile the average looking middle aged and elderly men think they're entitled to & are are happily pursuing women you g enough to be their daughters.

I do think gentle, "nice" women - when men old enough to be their Dads etc act like it's perfectly valid to date them; think "well, it must be valid, mustn't it.Otherwise, why would he?" rather than thinking "you delusional, entitled, shameless, inappropriate old chancer".

I remember going into bars as a twenty something and having below average looking 50 something men try to hit on me ..... Like WTAF. 99.9% of women would never act like that towards younger men (and the fact is many more you get men would actually shag an older woman for milf experience).

She specifically mentioned teeth etc.

I don't think they do dentistry at the gym.

Yep, I dated a man whp knocked s few years off his age when we met, he confessed a Mon or two into dating; however he proved consistently, exhaustively dishonest through the entire relationship. He was a delusional, sneaky, dishonest wanker.

It's not a good sign about somebody when they lie by omission or lie at the start, to get what they want/increase their chances of getting what they want.

*a month or two

Grim isn't it. They think they are gods gift, even when around handsome young men who the young women are after.
The potato heads never get anywhere though.

Is he wealthy?🤣

But, sorry! No. I couldn't do it

Absolutely yes.

I remember this in work in my 20's and because I was pleasant, I was hit on by professional well paid men in their 40's thinking they were a catch🙄🤢 and most put out when I told them I never dated colleagues (don't mess where you eat being very wise words). They didn't see me for dust near their floor😁, and I was very politely chilly to reinforced the point.

The entitlement 🙄

Sorry this is ridiculous - she's nearly 50 for heaven's sake!!

And he's nearly 70, much much closer in age to her mother.

18 years is a massive age gap.

The only time that sort of age gap is ok, is when the younger partner is between say, 30-40, but not after that.
He's an old man who will need care sooner or later.
No no no

@OnenightinBangkok and he is nearly her mother's age! that's more of his dating pool - they can go to bingo together

Do you know many 47 year old women and 68 year old men? If you do, you couldn't fail to notice that they are typically chasms apart in terms of their respective health, vitality, energy, capabilities and general standards of asthetic appeal.
I know MN is full of anecdotes of elderly men with the body of a 30 year old, running marathons at 5am and still dancing till dawn, but a glance around any public place will tell you they are unicorns. As are all these mythical males who somehow prove men age better than women. Which by practically every imaginable marker is untrue.
A man almost 70 who believes a woman not yet 50 would be 'silly' not to date him on account of his age is completely deluded. At 47 the OP if she wishes could likely attract a man in his late 30s. Yet it never seems to occur to these old men who prefer younger partners that that may well be true for women too. With a much higher likelihood of success.

I dont even fancy men my own age (61). They all seem so vague and grey.
I make an effort with my appearance and men my age just seem so old.

I dated an abusive man 9 years older than me for a year or so.

Even he, as someone who seemed to always try to date a bit younger and was quite chauvanist, commented that middle aged men hanging in out inside and outside (smoking) at bars in his town....were delusional in the way they leered at and tried to interact with the 20 something (and even teen) women who went to the bars.

He said "they somehow think they're dressed up for and up for it with them, overweight 40 and 50 sonething men, FFS ... Those girls are dressed up and looking for young fit gaelic playing (he lives in the Republic of Ireland) their own age!".

Funny how so many men don't get that (or choose not to get that).

*men their own age

He's around twenty years older than her.

That's nearly a generation's difference.

I have sisters 8 & 10 years older than, and have dated a man nearly 10 years older than me ..... And I can tell you, I feel that half generation difference. I can't imagine what it would he like with a generation difference.

He's being inappropriate and a chancer even trying to date her. And he knows it ur he wouldn't have been so unforthcoming and cagey about his age.

Actually I can imagine a generation difference because I've just remembered I dated a generation older man for 3 months ..... and it became so noticeable. The relationship was a joke.

I find men who target so much younger women to be inherently creepy.

It's one thing when two adults meet and hit it on regardless of age difference. I've mentioned before I'm much younger than my husband, but we've met organically and knew each other in some capacity before we started dating - and neither was actually aware of the other's exact age.

I think there is something off with middle aged men who lurk at the bars and specifically go for women in their early 20s, just as there is clearly something off with a man who is pushing 70 trying to date a middle aged woman and concealing his age.

Even if he'd hide his ID, his age would show in other ways.

I think 18 years is far too big an age gap at your stages of life. Don't feel bad about telling him this. You said in your first post he was reluctant to tell you, so I'm guessing he might not be so surprised that it's an issue for you.

Pink bonbon has it.

And him almost lying by omission about his age, that dishonesty and lack of up frontedness, fits with her summary too.

Yeah OK but it's hardly fair to say a man interested in a 47 year old woman is a dirty old man.