Homewrecker kink

[bambibrijwark]

I've read on here before about not blaming the other woman if husbands cheat then it should be on them, the other woman is not to be blamed because she didn't make promises to the wife.
However! I've recently read about the phenomenon of the 'homewrecker kink'. Women who get turned on by having sex with married men.
Years ago I was unaware of this phenomenon. Years ago I also turned to this forum for advice. Strange things had been happening. I was convinced my husband was not having an affair in the normal sense but something was certainly odd. It was like there was a woman in the background. One who could be met for very short time periods, at odd times. Occasionally, I thought a woman had been in the house while I was out, even for short time periods. A couple of things went missing, then later turned up. He went AWOL early mornings, once on holiday. He lost something, then later found it. Lots of other things were happening then too. Too numerous and specific to mention.
My DH has always been adamant he has never had an affair though but I wonder if he did then know a woman with a homewrecker kink.

I've recently read about the phenomenon of the 'homewrecker kink'.

Those were men pretending to be women.
Men are weirs, and as you can see, do not understsand women at all.

One who could be met for very short time periods, at odd times.

That was a prostitute.
Nothing bew.

Sorry to hear your husband was a cheater who broke a promise.

sorry about typos.

*Weird . New

I guessed at the typos! @YouAreNotBatman

I rejected the possibility of a prostitute based on the timings and locations.

When I was younger I knew a girl who seemed to get off on this. Like it made her feel sexy to know she'd made a man do something he shouldn't and she found the illicit nature of it exciting. Doesn't seem that strange compared to some kinks that people have.

I rejected the possibility of a prostitute based on the timings and locations.

Why?
They don’t keep conventional work hours / places.

Even if there are women who have a ‘home wrecker kink’ they can’t wreck homes without someone in that home participating, so I still wouldn’t blame the woman if my husband had an affair. She didn’t promise me anything, she might have bad morals, low self esteem, a kink, he might’ve lied to her, she might be a terrible person but she can’t have an affair by herself.

It definitely exists! But lets face it, takes two to tango. The man has to be a wiling party for it to happen.

But even if that woman has a kink like this, it’s STILL up to the man to decide if he us going to have an affair or not. It’s still him who gets in touch/answer messages/disappear in the am/looses stuff etc….
Not her.

She might get off going out with men who are married. But the reality is that it’s the DH who gets off from having an affair and lying to his dwife.

Whether she has kink or not doesn’t matter.

Takes 2 to tango.

Exactly, the man can just say no, plenty do.

I knew a girl at uni who escalated from "the guy her best friend fancied" to "the best looking guy in the year" to "the only married guy in the year". She had a clear need to be the girl who won. Very sad really, she'd had a not great early childhood and I think was looking for validation and to feel self worth.

Oh dear, some random woman pursued your H until he stood still long enough for her to impale herself on his dick. What makes you think your H is the ‘victim’ of such an unscrupulous woman?

Homewrecker kink theory smacks of misogyny OP. A husband cheats and it is STILL believed to be 100% the responsibility of the other woman. 🙄

I wasn't absolving married men. I was challenging the narrative of the blameless OW who is pursued by a man. It could be argued that a kink is difficult to resist and that therefore this type of woman is blameless. But these women show predatory behaviour in a similar way to those men who go looking for affairs.

Im sure it exists just like eating poop as a fetish exists but I'm not sure it's as common as websites like Reddit would have you believe.

On there, the owners of this fetish are often homosexual men wanting a 'straight' man, bragging about how they made him stray or how their oral skills excel against his wife's or whatever like some sort of battle of the sexes... that or OnlyFan prostitutes saying whatever it takes to get you to subscribe and pay.

I reckon more men enjoy the idea of cuckolding than women enjoy 'homewrecking'. I think for a woman who has some inferiority complex and daddy issues, it's probably enough for her for the man to say he'll leave his wife or that he wants her even if they never take it further physically it boosted her ego enough whereas I think with men he's only satisfied when he fucked her or had him suck her otherwise emotional affairs for men just don't quite fulfil their inferiority complex, I don't reckon.

Calling it misogyny is missing the point, I think. The kink exists!

Why does it matter whether the OW is blameless or knowingly pursued a married man?

Either way you’re still married to a cheat.

This sounds like typical blaming women for men's failings. Married man enjoys cheating on wife is the real kink here.

I must emphasise that I am not absolving a man's responsibility.

Your thread reads quite weirdly, too. If a woman is suspecting her husband she wouldn't be wondering about it as a kink. Frankly, the way you write op sounds like a bloke rubbing one out and hoping to hear confessions of MNers.

Prostitutes work 24/7, the agencies have them working shifts. Your OP reads like you're utterly paranoid with nothing to go on but your own runaway imagination, though.
If you don't trust your DH just leave him, you don't need a reason.

I apologise if I sound like a man. I understand why some might be suspicious.

I experienced some very unusual events in the past which suggested infidelity but not an affair. I received therapy and although this kink was never suggested, it was suggested to me that people do unbelievable things sometimes. Quite extraordinary things. Getting a kick out of taking risks for instance.

I had lived a sheltered life up til then and I kind of miss that blissful ignorance.

Kink or otherwise, the reasoning behind a woman chasing a married man is academic.... The onus on him is not to let himself be caught. It's not her responsibility to police his morals or lack of them. The only responsibility is his.

I don't get the difference, either between the affair you thought your husband had and any other affair - they are all secret, at odd times, when the wife is not there, early in the morning etc. - or between a man having an affair with a woman who exclusively pursues married men and a man having an affair with any other woman.

This is a really weird thread. If you are actually a real woman, then why have you convinced yourself that there’s a label for the women married men cheat with?

Utterly bizarre.