Homewrecker kink

[bambibrijwark]

I've read on here before about not blaming the other woman if husbands cheat then it should be on them, the other woman is not to be blamed because she didn't make promises to the wife.
However! I've recently read about the phenomenon of the 'homewrecker kink'. Women who get turned on by having sex with married men.
Years ago I was unaware of this phenomenon. Years ago I also turned to this forum for advice. Strange things had been happening. I was convinced my husband was not having an affair in the normal sense but something was certainly odd. It was like there was a woman in the background. One who could be met for very short time periods, at odd times. Occasionally, I thought a woman had been in the house while I was out, even for short time periods. A couple of things went missing, then later turned up. He went AWOL early mornings, once on holiday. He lost something, then later found it. Lots of other things were happening then too. Too numerous and specific to mention.
My DH has always been adamant he has never had an affair though but I wonder if he did then know a woman with a homewrecker kink.

It depends who and what you mean by 'we', @Jelllytot

I think the OW is certainly judged negatively.

But it is the DH who breaks vows.

I went to uni with a lass who was like this. It was weird as fuck.

She said it made her drunk with power that she could 'lead a man by his dick to set fire to his whole life'.

It was a point of honour to her that she NEVER made them promises but still they would literally fall at her feet and she made them give it all up. Then she would dump them.

The four years we were in halls she always had a few on the go. I remember quite clearly saying in most cases it was just the the attention and desire from a pretty young woman. She didn't have sex with them because she said that devalued the game. The liked the feeling more if they were doing just on the basis that they MIGHT get to have her.

She called them away on Christmas morning to prove their devotion. She would ask then to lie she would make them choose her over important decisions. Have them make excuses to come home early from holiday. She loved making them jump through hoops and would find interesting ways to make them feel pressured or conflicted but always ultimately choose her.

She didn't care a jot. She would go out and deliberately look for a married man and then she would hunt him relentlessly. The more devoted the more she upped her game. She could only be described as high as a kite while playing the game and it was clear she loved every single second of it.

I would like to say some form of karma caught up with her but no, she found a very rich man who adores her (no pre nup and income/proprieties in her own name) and she lives a life which would be the envy of most and seems genuinely happy and settled.

Liz Fraser very much springs to mind. The ultimate narcissistic adulterer/ woman hater. Moral of her story…. A life in shreds.

@defaultresponsibleadult I'd say that type of extreme sadistic behaviour doesn't indicate a happy mind.

It is possible that some women are attracted to the feeling of leading someone away from their partner. It's possible there are men who are attracted to the feeling of leading someone away from their partner.

The bit that you seem to be missing, is that it's irrelevant.

If your DH didn't want to cheat on you, he wouldn't have done it. He could have said no. So even if such a kink exists, it's ireelevant to your situation. The OW could have had a kink, she could have not known he was married, she could have just fancied him and had no morals.

The facts is, she didn't make him cheat.

And if you think he was going out to meat her, inviting her into your home in secret, making secret calls etc.... he was cheating. Having an affair. Lying to you releatedly. The nature of the OW, what she looked like, her character, is irrelevant.

Normally I would agree. However, in every single other aspect of her personality/life she was a pretty great person (aside from the obvious). Her 'game' was the only place she demonstrated such skewed thinking.

@defaultresponsibleadult I wonder if something had happened to her growing up to make her hate men?

One night while I was tipsy and feeling brave I asked her WTF it was all about and if something kicked it all off. She said she had a lovely family life, her parents were nice (they seemed so when they visited on graduation)

She had been pursued relentlessly by a MM once, the high was intoxicating and just like anything in life that feels fantastic you are bound to repeat it. She was pragmatic about the whole thing really. It was very much at odds with who she was as a classmate and person. Genuinely, she was a very nice lass to everyone men and women alike (as long as you were not a MM who she had her eye on!)