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Original poster

He's booked to go away for his birthday

109 replies

yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 20:57

My bf of 6 months has booked 3 nights abroad for his birthday later this year.
His last birthday he did a city break abroad with his ex and the one before he did 5 nights in London with his ex.
I cannot do these things as I have 5 kids.
Aibu to be upset he's spending his birthday with his brother on holiday instead of with me?

OP posts:
FayCarew · 28/06/2023 20:58

You've only been together 6 months and you couldn't go anyway. It's his birthday not yours.

LtotheOG · 28/06/2023 20:59

6 months is very early in the relationship.

I don't think it's fair to expect him to miss out on travelling and holidays because you have children.

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 28/06/2023 21:00

Yes. YAB completely unreasonable. It's a relationship of 6 months. That's it. Of course he will go away. And you couldn't even if he invited you.

SunflowerTed · 28/06/2023 21:00

Why have 5 kids?

piedbeauty · 28/06/2023 21:01

Yabu! It's his birthday. And your relationship is very new.

Plus, 5 kids... That's going to change how you can celebrate your birthday!!

supersonicginandtonic · 28/06/2023 21:01

@SunflowerTed that's a bit judgemental!

ProfessorXtra · 28/06/2023 21:01

I think as it’s early days it’s fine. If you couldn’t have gone with him, if he wants to go away for his birthday it will be with someone else.

It may change if/when you have been together alot longer.

I would guess if you have 5 kids, you don’t spend a huge amount of time together, things move at a slower pace.

However, if he wants to continue living a life you can’t join in, when it’s longer term, I would be thinking about what I want from the relationship. And see if it matches his.

GeriatricMumma · 28/06/2023 21:01

SunflowerTed · 28/06/2023 21:00

Why have 5 kids?

????
That's nothing to do with the dilemma. She may have been happily married and had 5 kids before her husband died for all you know.

How rude.

Keepitonthelow · 28/06/2023 21:03

Well you said it yourself, you can’t go as you have 5 kids!

What would you actually be able to do to celebrate his birthday?

Original poster
yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:04

I just thought he would've wanted to spend his birthday with me.
I understand about the holiday but he could've gone away the week before or after.

OP posts:
supersonicginandtonic · 28/06/2023 21:06

I've been with my partner over 10 years, we spend our birthdays doing what we want. It's just one day, do something with him at another time.

LtotheOG · 28/06/2023 21:07

What kind of thing were you thinking of doing? Would you be able to get a babysitter?

mindutopia · 28/06/2023 21:08

You’ve only been together 6 months and you may not even be around still by the time his birthday rolls around. Sounds perfectly fine.

Plan a night out or weekend away for before/after.

LtotheOG · 28/06/2023 21:10

Why should he move his birthday trip to suit you?

Can you not plan something for his birthday for the week before?

Kpcs · 28/06/2023 21:11

You are being unreasonable. It’s his birthday, he should be able to spend it how he wants

jelly79 · 28/06/2023 21:12

yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:04

I just thought he would've wanted to spend his birthday with me.
I understand about the holiday but he could've gone away the week before or after.

Oh dear. Re read this OP

You can choose to plan something to celebrate his birthday when he is back. But he can chose to spend his birthday away and it's not really anything negative towards you. Be careful this neediness doesn't shine through!

GeriatricMumma · 28/06/2023 21:14

yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:04

I just thought he would've wanted to spend his birthday with me.
I understand about the holiday but he could've gone away the week before or after.

You could do something with him the weekend before or after?

LegendsBeyond · 28/06/2023 21:15

Perhaps he doesn’t want to spend his birthday with 5 children? It sounds like he wants an adult break for his birthday, which I don’t blame him for.

HowAmYa · 28/06/2023 21:17

At the risk of sounding like an absolute bitch...why would he give up the opportunity to spend his bday abroad for a women hes known for 6 months and her 5 children?
You haven't been together long enough, you have some seriously responsibility that he doesn't need to tie himself to so bloody early on in the relationship.
These things take time in relationships where one partner comes with children.

ProfessorXtra · 28/06/2023 21:17

yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:04

I just thought he would've wanted to spend his birthday with me.
I understand about the holiday but he could've gone away the week before or after.

Are you even free on his birthday? Does he know you have made sure you are free on his birthday?

MariaVT65 · 28/06/2023 21:22

Yes YABU. At 6 months, my bf (now DH) went travelling for a month around USA. We have now been together 7 years and I have spent my birthday with people other than him several times. This year he went to football on his birthday. You don’t have to be glued to eachother and you can celebrate another day.

Humidititties · 28/06/2023 21:31

You again, oh how I've missed you

BreviloquentBastard · 28/06/2023 21:32

It's only 3 nights, what's wrong with you two celebrating when he gets back?

ProfessorXtra · 28/06/2023 21:32

Humidititties · 28/06/2023 21:31

You again, oh how I've missed you

oh? What am I missing?

Mum2jenny · 28/06/2023 21:35

I know this is cruel, but why would a person want to get involved with a woman with 5 kids. I’d tell my son to run so fast to get away from such a scenario.