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Original poster

He's booked to go away for his birthday

109 replies

yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 20:57

My bf of 6 months has booked 3 nights abroad for his birthday later this year.
His last birthday he did a city break abroad with his ex and the one before he did 5 nights in London with his ex.
I cannot do these things as I have 5 kids.
Aibu to be upset he's spending his birthday with his brother on holiday instead of with me?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 28/06/2023 21:37

Do something a different day. I don’t know the back story but 6 months in I’d relax a bit if you want him to hang around.

Shitshowatthefuckfactory · 28/06/2023 21:38

Humidititties · 28/06/2023 21:31

You again, oh how I've missed you

Frequent poster?

GeriatricMumma · 28/06/2023 21:38

Humidititties · 28/06/2023 21:31

You again, oh how I've missed you

I need to know this story!

Humidititties · 28/06/2023 21:46

If the poster is the one I'm thinking of, she regularly posts about her new boyfriend's ex and all the stuff he did with her before they split

ProfessorXtra · 28/06/2023 21:51

Humidititties · 28/06/2023 21:46

If the poster is the one I'm thinking of, she regularly posts about her new boyfriend's ex and all the stuff he did with her before they split

Ah… I know the one. Keeps getting banned? The 5 kids is a new addition.

Humidititties · 28/06/2023 21:52

ProfessorXtra · 28/06/2023 21:51

Ah… I know the one. Keeps getting banned? The 5 kids is a new addition.

Show quote history

Yup, that's the one

Original poster
yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:53

I've never been banned

OP posts:
Original poster
yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:54

And I rarely post

OP posts:
Original poster
yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:55

Ok I'm bu.
Just thought in the early start of a relationship you did firsts together.
Thank you for your replies.

OP posts:
yogasaurus · 28/06/2023 21:56

yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:04

I just thought he would've wanted to spend his birthday with me.
I understand about the holiday but he could've gone away the week before or after.

Would you get a babysitter? Or would you be expecting him
to spend his birthday with the 5 kids?

Trip abroad sounds amazing.

Original poster
yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:57

Getting a babysitter is hard.
It's just he didn't even consider it.

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 28/06/2023 21:59

A baby sitter for 5 kids is a big ask!!

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/06/2023 22:00

You have very different lives. Suggest something you can do together at a time you can get a sitter. Don’t compete with his past, it’s never productive.

Shitshowatthefuckfactory · 28/06/2023 22:00

If you'd been together a few years then I'd think he'd spend it with you or discuss it with you.

But 6 months is very early in a relationship.

Surely you'd want him to go away and have fun?

Would you have been able to take him out for dinner or something? I don't think it's realistic to want him to spend a birthday with 5 kids in a very new relationship if he has the opportunity to go abroad.

Dullardmullard · 28/06/2023 22:00

So if a babysitter is hard to get how have you managed dates so far

please tell me you haven’t introduced him to them yet. I waited 13 months and I found babysitters to go on actual dates.

ProfessorXtra · 28/06/2023 22:01

yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 21:55

Ok I'm bu.
Just thought in the early start of a relationship you did firsts together.
Thank you for your replies.

But, assuming, your kids live with you lost of the time. Or all. And he either doesn’t have kids or doesn’t have kids that he has the majority/all of the time. Your lives are in completely different places. It’s a different type of relationship, with a a different start.

This early on he isn’t going to really excited to live a life that he would have if he chose to have five kids. You have a certain lifestyle because of the kids. He has a different one. That doesn’t mean you can’t work it out.

But would you live the lifestyle that comes with having 5 kids, when you don’t have 5 kids.

i was a single parent and I think it’s a big ask.

toomanyleggings · 28/06/2023 22:02

He’s not serious about you. I’d cut him
loose. Men in love do want to spend the big occasions with you.

HowcanIhelp123 · 28/06/2023 22:02

It's his birthday. It's clearly his preference to go on holiday. You can't go so he's taking his brother.

Why do you think he should stay home? You said you can't go as you have 5 kids so presumably you'll have them on his birthday. What would you do if he didn't go away? You have 5 kids, he doesn't. 6 months in he either hasn't met them or is very new to them. By seeing you on his birthday he's probably imagining candlelit dinner with dessert in the bedroom etc. Not sneaking in after kids have gone to bed and hoping none of them wake up or having a family dinner with 5 kids that aren't his.

You're only 6 months in, you chose to have 5 kids. He didn't. He doesn't need to make the same sacrifices you do.

FarTooHotForMe · 28/06/2023 22:03

I think it’s fine.

lunar1 · 28/06/2023 22:08

What would you have planned?

Mammamia2023 · 28/06/2023 22:11

I can understand feeling a bit disappointed but really you have no right to be it’s his birthday and he can spend it as he likes. He probably sees no issue having a bday meal or something with u on another day. 6 months is extremely early in a relationship and how’s he to know that by the time his bday comes round u will still be together. Plus if you are going to last he might as well enjoy life whilst he can before he is also living with 5 kids and a partner and having to consider that when making plans.
You have 5 kids so must be of a decent enough age to realise all of this, this is the kind of thing I’d expect to hear off someone with their first bf tbh.

Original poster
yetanothernamechange1987 · 28/06/2023 22:12

His birthday is at the end of the year.
I don't know what we could've done but I'm upset he didn't try and sort out anything with me.
I maybe could've got childcare but he just wanted to get away.

OP posts:
MarieG10 · 28/06/2023 22:12

LegendsBeyond · 28/06/2023 21:15

Perhaps he doesn’t want to spend his birthday with 5 children? It sounds like he wants an adult break for his birthday, which I don’t blame him for.

With five kids I would contemplate this continuing

Shitshowatthefuckfactory · 28/06/2023 22:13

I think at this stage in your relationship it's best to manage your expectations. It's too soon to be expecting to do things together in several months time. Aren't you still just in the getting to know each other stage?

NutellaNut · 28/06/2023 22:14

YABU. If you’re that clingy six months in, I don’t fancy your chances of still being together by the time he celebrates his next birthday.