He's booked to go away for his birthday

[yetanothernamechange1987]

My bf of 6 months has booked 3 nights abroad for his birthday later this year.
His last birthday he did a city break abroad with his ex and the one before he did 5 nights in London with his ex.
I cannot do these things as I have 5 kids.
Aibu to be upset he's spending his birthday with his brother on holiday instead of with me?

It’s early days. Taking on five kids is a big ask, too. Does he have children?

Wait, so you’ve been together six months, his birthday is in six months time, and for his last birthday he went away with his ex…?

So was there an overlap, did he go away with her while with you, or did he leap from her to you? 😬

He should think of you and spoil you for your birthday. His birthday is to do what he wants, he obviously likes to get away for his birthday and this time going with brother rather than pressure relatively new girlfriend to sort childcare for 5 children.

It is more thoughtful not to ask a mother of 5 if she can get a babysitter for a few days. Not to say it isn't possible but i think he would wait for you to say that is an option rather than ask you and give you a headache of trying to sort something or saying no. Perhaps he knows you have nobody you could ask for that legnth of time, or realises you wouldn't want a trip away without the children.

Celebrate his birthday with him the weekend before or after his holiday.

I’ve been with my husband for 21 years and I still wouldn’t tell him how to spend his own birthday.

you have 5 kids so I doubt you’ve seen him more then 20 times in the last 6 months anyway.
Concentrate on your kids and if you really want a trip away together why don’t you organise something yourself for another time.

But that wouldn’t have been the same? He obviously likes to go away for his birthday and 6 months is no time.

Honestly, I wouldn’t stress about this.

Perhaps he doesn't want to be tied to the house on his birthday with a load of kids that aren't his.
Perhaps you are not as well suited as you would hope.

loooool i remember the last one! hilarious

YAB completely U!!!! My God! For a number of reasons. He is his own person and an adult and can spend his birthdays as he wishes. Your relationship is in the early stages. You would not be able to go if he suggested going somewhere. What he did during past relationships is irrelevant (side note, maybe the exes organised the trips away from him).

Celebrate the birthday with him the week before or the week after he goes, job done, end of discussion!

You did know what you would have done.

You said ghetto f a baby sitter is hard. You wanted him to spend his birthday with you and your kids.

As you have kids alot of this relationship will be on your term. Shouldn’t his birthday be on his terms?

What if he hasn’t even met the kids by then?

I get relationships are hard when you are a single parent. But it’s really not all about you. You are asking someone with alot of freedom to give it up for 5 kids he didn’t even have.

It will be six soon, just wait and see.

He's just not that into you...

Question ??

Did he know you had five children from day one, or did you drip it in and he is now looking for an exit strategy ?

So, at the end of last year he was still with his ex? And you two have been together for 6 months so he only just broke up before that? And you have 5 kids?! Yeah, I wouldn't worry too much.

I would feel the same way, IF you would have been able to get a babysitter and take him out for the evening. If he'd just be sitting at home then I think it's ok he wants to go out with his brother.

He might have his own 5 kids too

Jeez you’ve only been going out 6months!

Man spends birthday with family - not big news tbh. This all sounds a bit stalker-y

In which case you'd expect him to be spending it with his 5 kids not his girlfriend of 6 months 5 kids. Even if he does and chooses to go away instead, point still stands he's unlikely to want to spend it with OPs kids if he doesn't want to spend with his own.

Actually, you mentioned he has bday at end of the year. If that's when the bank hols are and he's in a bit of a routine to escape the cold depressing post Xmas Uk, I can totally see why he'd want to continue his tradition. Im glad he's organized this with his brother rather than a lad lads, and also if you've been together 6 months then this is still over 6m away I wouldn't be certain at this stage if you'd still be together and he'd be a bit depressed spending a cold birthday alone if he usually goes away for it, flights are also so expensive that time of year so I can see why he was keen to get it booked in

@HowcanIhelp123 true

How old are you and your kids OP?

Yabu

But why, OP?

What are you going to bringing to the party? He's used to going away. This year he's going with his brother, not his Ex. Seems sensible - it's later this year and he must only have recently broken up with his Ex when he got together with you.

With 5 children, you must have limited time together so you don't really know each other hugely well. When I met my DP is took a lot longer to really get to know him because of our respective DC, so obviously we had limited time together. Still do sometimes, after many years!

He did consider it - he just chose to go abroad and have fun rather than be stuck with 5 kids that aren’t his.
Sorry!

Ah so a kids party for his birthday then just what every adult wants

He was away with the girlfriend in December and with you in January?

And you don't get babysitters?

Nice.