Boyfriend crying because of me,am I really horrible?

[redsblacksoranges]

So today

He sounds like a total fud with messing around the arrangements, but the crying? My god my fanny would just clang shut and stay that way. Get him in the bin.

Bloody hell don't add a baby into this! What's a poor kid done to deserve getting saddled with that for a dad?

He sounds selfish and manipulative.

Crying? Over nothing? Honestly go with a friend and reconsider if you could stay with someone like this.

Your birthday is one day where you get to do what you want to do not fit in with his half arsed plans. Why would you want to stay in a hotel in your own city? You can stay at home!

I’d say make him cry one last time by dumping him OP.

Call me a bastard but I laughed.

Some women are genuinely happy to run around making big efforts for everyone else and expecting their own wishes and needs to be ignored. Some of them maybe had a lot to deal with as you clearly did, losing your mam when you were just a kid, and learnt to put themselves last.

Now's the time to decide if that's what you want for the next 50 years OP.

FFS I've yet to read anything positive about this waste of space boyfriend

I'm not sure why you love him?

He actively ruins your birthday, makes you feel shit, accuses you of being sly, refuses anything you want to do and is tight as fuck (but it's okay for you to fork out to buy him tickets for his stuff)

What the hell are you doing with him? You know there are actual real men who treat women with respect out there?

Or as my Nan used to say being single is better than being with a twat. (Paraphrasing slightly)

Honestly the best birthday present you can give yourself this year is to decide that next year by your birthday you will be living life on your terms and doing what makes you happy.

Now that could be with him if you can get him on the same page, but I suspect after three years you know enough about him to know this isn't going to get better. Every time you let him get away with something like this it will just embolden him to trample on your wants and desires a little more.

3 years is nothing in the general scheme of things. If you feel like this at this point in the relationship get out before you're 30 years in miserable constantly walking on eggshells and wondering where your life has gone.

He sounds totally pathetic, crying if he doesn't get his own way.

What on earth do you see in him? He's so manipulative.

@sodthesodoff 's Nan has it spot on. Listen to this wise woman.

Well that’s all good for you IF that’s what you want to do on your birthday! However, op didn’t ask what other people would enjoy, she is asking if she is being horrible because her boyfriend is crying because he is being controlling and manipulative and trying to dictate what she should do on her birthday! She stated very clearly to her bf what she wanted to do and he’s gone out of his way to ruin it! OP didn’t want to go to a local hotel and have Sunday lunch, she wanted to go to a gig! Her boyfriend is now crying because she was looking at other options after he booked something KNOWING that’s not what she wanted to do for her birthday! And now he’s crying about it!

Bless you. I lost my dad in my mid teens. Please go to Blackpool with someone, who loves you for you. That would definitely rule this man out.

Please don’t have children with him. Parenting is tougher than I could even have imagined and requires a lot of give and take from both parents. He’s not a team player. Quite the opposite, manipulative and darn right nasty.

I’m really angry on your behalf now op. How dare he belittle your loss in this way.

Sounds like he's one of those men who won't celebrate his dp's birthday. What a charmer.

Yes! Surprise!!! We aren’t doing anything you want or asked for your birthday!!

And then he cried. How super attractive!

You can never make a happy life with a man like this.

You are absolutely correct but you'd 'dump him on the spot' for using the word sly? I very much doubt it.

Urgh. I vote for all whiny man-babies to get in the bin, who's with me?

Go to the gig with a friend and have a bloody good time. And maybe start thinking about finding somewhere else to live.

Surely if it’s your birthday, you get to choose? I wouldn’t have kids with him, he sounds like a selfish arse.

Err no she told bf she wanted to go to a concert!!! He then moaned it was too expensive so she tried to look for somewhere in Spain, he again moaned it was too expensive (bearing in mind he didn’t think it was too expensive to go away to meet a friend). Op then looked at a place to stay in blackpool and thought her bf was booking it! Instead he booked her a local hotel with Sunday lunch!! That’s 3 times the selfish little prick has ruined what she wanted to do on her birthday!!!! He KNEW where she wanted to go… but he’s gone out of his way to ruin her birthday! As op has already stated earlier in this thread, everything is on HIS terms! He is a controlling manipulator and only cares about his feelings and what he wants to do!! I’d say he’s gone out of his way to upset op and is now crying because op was looking at other options!!! Awww didums!!!!!

Trust me, I would. It's a horrible word to use about anyone.

What’s his reasoning for not taking onboard any of your suggestions of what kind of thing you wanted to do?

This relationship doesn’t sound like a winner, to be honest. Part company, it all sounds immature.

Go to the gig with a friend and enjoy yourself - anyone would think it is his Birthday not yours! If he is not happy with that then get rid...he doesn't sound particularly nice.

Your birthday, has now become all about him hasn’t it? Whenever you think of it this is what you’ll think of. I had one like this. Any special occasion focussed on me, I could guarantee he’d find some way to create a drama and spoil or diminish it. This won’t get any better. Once they start doing this crap it is pointing to a deeply rooted resentment, anger towards you. So deep rooted that you’d never be able to get him to admit it because he won’t even let himself consciously think it. You should end it and I hope you will but most people don’t the first few times. Quite often they get to decades in before they see the constant low level sly sabotage and then it’s hard to leave when your lives are so entwined.

Do not have children or marry this man, he is not a keeper. You will have a life of misery only doing things he wants to do and never being able to do anything for yourself without being made to feel shit about it. I'd reply to his text and tell him he's pathetic and its over, list all the shit and end it now whilst it's a clean break.

Please don't have children with him.

Your life will be negotiating every nappy purchase, after school club, sports activity etc. You don't need to spend your life justifying your expenditure.

You were trying to collaborate on a decision and taking his wishes into account. He wasn't, he just went ahead with his choice and presented you with a fait accompli which you didn't go shopping with quietly. He was upset and abused you if being sly.

This isn't healthy, whatever the root cause is, I couldn't live in a relationship like that because there's no communication or mutual meeting in the middle.

OP,

Spend some money on figuring out why you want to inflict this unpleasant controlling loser on children?

He's a manipulative twat.

He never wanted to go away.

EVERYTHING is on his terms?

Why would you accept this.

You are walking intona shitshow.

This is not a good guy.

Stop ignoring red flags.

Get pregnant with him and you will see an even uglier side to him.

Dump him before you bitterly regret it.