Boyfriend crying because of me,am I really horrible?

[redsblacksoranges]

So today

He's upset cos you've clocked onto him being a selfish arse. Honestly, leave him. You are still young. Don't spend the rest of your life with this whiny self centred manipulative arsehole.

And you’re still planning to have kids with him?

Have you not read any of these posts @redsblacksoranges ? Why did you ring him? If you are that desperate to hold on to him leave him alone. Keep your head down and apologise when he decides to talk to you. Jesus fucking wept.

Don’t let his tears distract you from his half-arsed birthday present and the stinginess. This guy is perfectly happy to spend money on himself and his friends…. It’s you he doesn’t value. Look at how you feel and let him accept the responsibility for making you feel this way. And let him cry when you leave.

It all has to be on his terms and he turns on the waterworks when he doesn't get his own way. That would only ever get worse, not better. Get rid.

Imagine what you’re going through now but it’s your potential young son or daughter wanting to do something just like this for their birthday and you’ve said yes but he has said no and he books something else. Will he call your kids ungrateful? Would he cry to make them feel bad too that their dream birthday was crushed for a meal in the place they already live?

you deserve so so much better than this.

DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS MAN!!!

seriously, he is manipulative, and passive-aggressively gets his own way. That is NOT love. It WILL get worse. You deserve so much more than this you know. Life is too short my lovely.

Op stop trying with him. He's the one being selfish. How dare he blame you.

Go to your gig, take a friend, enjoy it and get rid of this looser.

He wants to go see the foo fighters next year.
I will go with him,even tho I don't know a song

Then you’re a martyr, and choosing a relationship that will make you miserable.

Truth is what he booked wasn’t good enough because it wasn’t anywhere near what you wanted to do for YOUR BIRTHDAY. His tears are a massive manipulation into you putting his needs first or getting in trouble with him through emotional blackmail.

This will get worse with kids. Finish it now while it’s still fairly easy to separate.

Sounds odd to me. He either has something else planned, which you could hold off for to see or just say you feel upset that he’s not taking into account what you want. If he’s not planning a surprise then I’m my opinion he’s being a bit selfish and making you feel guilty for his actions, which isn’t healthy! Ask yourself if his behavior is normal for him, do you often feel guilty and not know why, or does he control situations and not let you have control of the plans often. You mentioned you saw his friends, do you see yours? Just some things to think about as he might be perfectly normal but this snap shot screams controlling and manipulative to me.

Does he shout ranting and raving at anyone else? Just you? Thought so.

You have bigger problems than a birthday meal away. You would be spectacularly selfish to have children with this man. You'd be choosing to bring an innocent baby into unstable emotionally abusive relationship.

He did not even plan it! He just went online and booked something random after numerous other suggestions for you.

You can’t live a life with someone determined to ensure you never get anything you want.

Life gets harder, not easier. I don’t think most men particularly get more emotionally mature.

I really hope you’ll go and do exactly what you want for your birthday. Take a friend or find some other big fans of your favorite band to meet up with. But don’t let him ruin it for you.

He's gaslighting you.

You've done nothing wrong.

"The one thing I have tried to do for you you don't want to do."

Well he's right there, but he's wrong that he gets to feel hurt feelings for that when he knew full well it wasn't what you wanted to do.

Just imagine for two seconds that you do this, you say no to seeing the Foo Fighters, you say no to whatever he suggests instead - and then you quickly book tickets to something you know he has no interest in whatsoever that is almost embarrassingly mundane. A spa day and a trip to the local ice rink perhaps. Then when he decides he's rather not do that, you apparently cry all morning (would love to know where he works that people aren't commenting on this btw) and tell him that his rejection of your ideas "fucking hurts", call him sly, and generally browbeat him about it to the point that he doesn't even know which way is up any more.

Would you do that? Why not? Why is it ok for him to do it?

Also, note in this message “doing what you want” is thrown at you like an accusation. Of course you should be able to do what you want! He better be right that you’re going to do it anyway!!

Go without him, take a friend or family member... its YOUR birthday and YOUR gift from family and you where clear thats what YOU wanted to do, he doesn't get to force you to do something you never agreed too.

Honestly hotel in town sounds crap and he sounds controlling.

He's gaslighting you. He's awful. And selfish. And will only get worse. You will live on eggshells and your children will suffer. You'll eventually become a single parent, but happier for it. Or not- you could leave him now and start a new life and family with someone kind, caring, normal and non-abusive. 31 is still young with plenty of time for those things.

Go to the concert without him. Go with a friend and enjoy it.

Do not have children with this boring, selfish, manipulative oaf! Your wants are perfectly reasonable and it's pathetic that he is crying over it and not getting his own way, seriously yuck. You can do better than him OP 💐

Your birthday your choice surely?

It also demonstrates that he knows OPs preferences and he isn't doing what she'd like for her birthday.

Please tell us you are going to leave this tosser. Your relationship isn't normal.

I think he's one of those people that's so unused to making an effort that when he does anything, anything at all, he expects whoops of applause like a toddler pooing in the potty.

OP isn't playing the game. He's punishing her because he MADE HER A PRESENT and the nasty lady didn't like it. The fact that she didn't want it isn't his fault! She should be grateful because really he's far too selfish and twattish busy and important to lower himself to organising treats for people who aren't him.

Oh he sounds pathetic.

If he truly wanted to do something nice for your birthday, he would have listened to what you wanted to do, not book what he thought you'd like. That's selfish on his part, especially his reaction to it - you don't have to be grateful over something you didn't want or ask for, especially since you gave him plenty of other ideas.

I agree with everyone else - sack him off, do NOT have kids with him as his behaviour will only worsen. Look after yourself and enjoy your life, he sounds like a fucking draining human being.