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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stag do anxiety

137 replies

Jane881 · 25/06/2023 13:50

Partner is off on a stag do in a few weeks to Prague. I don't know why I'm overwhelmed with worry about something happening as in cheating.

We've been going out around 15 months and live a bit away from each other. He's never given any reason to doubt him and things are going really well.

I genuinely hope he has a great time away and know this is my issue.
I feel like I'm punching a bit, he very attractive and funny 🙈 I'd never say anything to him about my worries and have been cooler than cool. But it just gives me the fear as to what could happen and if something did I'd never know. Some posts on here aren't very reassuring about cheating either, it seems to happen alot and opinion regarding it aren't positive 😬 x

OP posts:
ConcernedCatmother · 25/06/2023 20:19

Prostitution is legal in prague. There’s a clear reason why they choose to go there, sorry OP…it’s not for the scenery.

Blue2blue · 25/06/2023 20:43

I would dislike the idea too. Mainly due to Prague's reputation.

My husband has said he would look at other women, but not touch them. And although he wouldn't like going into a strip club, he would go if all his mates wanted to go, so that he didn't look like a bellend. I think this is the mentality that worries me, as guys will encurage each other on...

I think that from this I learnt that my feelings wouldn't really matter more than his mates.

Has your partner ever given you a reason not to trust him?

Brightbear · 25/06/2023 20:55

TheoTheopolis23 · 25/06/2023 19:18

I never said my h goes to golf trips or EE stag do's.

Lazy, dumb debating. And so typical of the shit posters on this site.

This site is full of totally insecure man hating women…..

Honestly Herod would be at home here!

Kkyytt · 25/06/2023 20:57

OP. This site is the worst place to get any reassurance on things like this. It’s full of trolls and this thread highlights it.

Just have to trust him. Don’t worry about things that are out of your control.

Brightbear · 25/06/2023 20:58

Blue2blue · 25/06/2023 20:43

I would dislike the idea too. Mainly due to Prague's reputation.

My husband has said he would look at other women, but not touch them. And although he wouldn't like going into a strip club, he would go if all his mates wanted to go, so that he didn't look like a bellend. I think this is the mentality that worries me, as guys will encurage each other on...

I think that from this I learnt that my feelings wouldn't really matter more than his mates.

Has your partner ever given you a reason not to trust him?

I’m not sure why your husband would say he looked at women? Don’t you look at men? Or are you expecting now you’re both in a relationship that you all wear blinkers?

Really? 😂

Brightbear · 25/06/2023 20:59

Kkyytt · 25/06/2023 20:57

OP. This site is the worst place to get any reassurance on things like this. It’s full of trolls and this thread highlights it.

Just have to trust him. Don’t worry about things that are out of your control.

👏

stop with your reasonableness!!

Jane881 · 25/06/2023 20:59

Blue2blue · 25/06/2023 20:43

I would dislike the idea too. Mainly due to Prague's reputation.

My husband has said he would look at other women, but not touch them. And although he wouldn't like going into a strip club, he would go if all his mates wanted to go, so that he didn't look like a bellend. I think this is the mentality that worries me, as guys will encurage each other on...

I think that from this I learnt that my feelings wouldn't really matter more than his mates.

Has your partner ever given you a reason not to trust him?

No he's never given any reason for me not to trust him. Just my own insecurities I guess.

Tbh this threads just made things 100x worse. I had no idea about Prague reputation. They're all pretty well travelled. I have no idea why the stag chose it but I'd be surprised if it was because prostitution is legal. I may be wrong.

OP posts:
Brightbear · 25/06/2023 21:03

Jane881 · 25/06/2023 20:59

No he's never given any reason for me not to trust him. Just my own insecurities I guess.

Tbh this threads just made things 100x worse. I had no idea about Prague reputation. They're all pretty well travelled. I have no idea why the stag chose it but I'd be surprised if it was because prostitution is legal. I may be wrong.

he choose it because it’s cheap flights and cheap beer.

End of!

A lot of man haters on MN.

ignore them.

Bookworm20 · 26/06/2023 14:10

OP, I'd feel the same.

A stag do in Prague. Of course they are only going for the cheap beer. 🙄

Prague does have a reputation for certain types of stag do's and any guy holding his stag there, and every bloke who has agreed to go knows this (or every single one of them is thick as shit, which is very unlikely).
It isn't chosen for its architecture, history and fine dining.

That is not to say your bloke will cheat though. Hopefully he has good morals and is one of the decent ones.

But you and him would be pretty deluded to not realise that although he hopefully won't cheat, he will have plenty of opportunity to do so.

Unless they are just going there for the architecture of course.

I think, have a chat with him. Just tell him you feel a bit weird about it, but that you trust him and make it very very clear how utterly disappointed you'd be in him and would find it hard to look at him again should anything happen (and leave him with the understanding that women always find out........)

I am actually not sure I could be with a bloke who chose to participate in a stag do in Prague though to be honest. Maybe thats over the top, but it would certainly put me off him.

Bookworm20 · 26/06/2023 14:17

I would also add that if my fiance chose Prague as his stag do destination. We wouldn't be getting married any longer.

Its not about trust. It would be about him choosing a place like prague. And then likely trying to sell it as the 'cheap beer' option.

Hmmmm, if 'cheap beer' is more important than the reputation he'll get going there, and more important spending his beer money in a place known for its sex tourism - Just to save a few quid on beers - not the sort of bloke I'd want to marry.

Daisiesandprimroses · 26/06/2023 14:25

Goodness some of these comments. 😱 I’ve been to Prague many a time. I also worked there for a while. It’s known for a piss up destination not a sex location. It’s not amsters. Sure it’s got strip bars, like most other major cities, but it’s also got a shit Ton of night life and cheap beers.

yes. It’s a stag do, yes they will likely go to a strip bar which is common on stag dos in most large cities, be it Manchester or Prague, but that doesn’t mean he will cheat. Most of them I’ve seen are too pissed up on cheap beers to even contemplate it.

Daisiesandprimroses · 26/06/2023 14:25

Bookworm20 · 26/06/2023 14:17

I would also add that if my fiance chose Prague as his stag do destination. We wouldn't be getting married any longer.

Its not about trust. It would be about him choosing a place like prague. And then likely trying to sell it as the 'cheap beer' option.

Hmmmm, if 'cheap beer' is more important than the reputation he'll get going there, and more important spending his beer money in a place known for its sex tourism - Just to save a few quid on beers - not the sort of bloke I'd want to marry.

Um what now? You’ve never been have you?

Bookworm20 · 26/06/2023 15:07

Daisiesandprimroses · 26/06/2023 14:25

Um what now? You’ve never been have you?

Yes, I have been to Prague. Its a lovely city and I'll definitely go back. But there is a vast difference visiting as a tourist and experiencing the city with my partner, than the groups of stags we encountered when we visited the new town (we mainly stayed in old town and lesser town areas).

And I also know of 3 men who have been on stag dos there, separate occasions - not the same stag do. They were not admiring architecture or the least bit interested in sightseeing. And over hearing alot of the conversation around their time there, I have a very different opinion of them all! Some of it was shocking and so no, I would not want my fiance to have a stag do there.

There is also a massive difference going to a strip club in manchester to one in Prague. Which leads me to if he went to strip club ANYWHERE on his stag do, the wedding would no longer be taking place either. 😂
I have no time in my life for men who think women are things to purchase and play with.

Op no one is saying your bloke will cheat. You need to let him know how this is bothering you though. If hes in any way decent he will totally understand where you are coming from and reassure you in whatever way he can.

Daisiesandprimroses · 26/06/2023 15:24

Bookworm20 · 26/06/2023 15:07

Yes, I have been to Prague. Its a lovely city and I'll definitely go back. But there is a vast difference visiting as a tourist and experiencing the city with my partner, than the groups of stags we encountered when we visited the new town (we mainly stayed in old town and lesser town areas).

And I also know of 3 men who have been on stag dos there, separate occasions - not the same stag do. They were not admiring architecture or the least bit interested in sightseeing. And over hearing alot of the conversation around their time there, I have a very different opinion of them all! Some of it was shocking and so no, I would not want my fiance to have a stag do there.

There is also a massive difference going to a strip club in manchester to one in Prague. Which leads me to if he went to strip club ANYWHERE on his stag do, the wedding would no longer be taking place either. 😂
I have no time in my life for men who think women are things to purchase and play with.

Op no one is saying your bloke will cheat. You need to let him know how this is bothering you though. If hes in any way decent he will totally understand where you are coming from and reassure you in whatever way he can.

Ok, I get that, I’m sorry you feel your fiancé would behave similar to these men so have this reaction, but I don’t think you can judge all men on his and your friends behaviour. I’m sure you know full well plenty of men go and have major piss up stags. Also it’s not his stag do. What do you want him to do, decline as some folks on line know men that went for the sex and think their fiancé would do the same if he went.

trust is key in a relationship and if you don’t have that, locking them up or binning them as they go to a mates stag, isn’t going to keep them faithful,

Brightbear · 26/06/2023 15:24

Bookworm20 · 26/06/2023 14:17

I would also add that if my fiance chose Prague as his stag do destination. We wouldn't be getting married any longer.

Its not about trust. It would be about him choosing a place like prague. And then likely trying to sell it as the 'cheap beer' option.

Hmmmm, if 'cheap beer' is more important than the reputation he'll get going there, and more important spending his beer money in a place known for its sex tourism - Just to save a few quid on beers - not the sort of bloke I'd want to marry.

Oh for goodness sake! You’d end your engagement over a stag do destination? You have that little trust?

How controlling.

GreyCarpet · 26/06/2023 17:44

Brightbear · 26/06/2023 15:24

Oh for goodness sake! You’d end your engagement over a stag do destination? You have that little trust?

How controlling.

Why is it controlling?

She is free to set her own boundaries as he is free to set his.

He is free to respect her boundaries or not.

They are then both free to build.a stronger relationship together or find someone with whom they are each more compatible.

I'd rather be in a relationship where each person can be open and honest about their boundaries tbh.

rayro2 · 26/06/2023 17:58

Ugh used to hate this anxiety/fear!! Fears are not always reflective of your relationship but if you’ve been given reason to doubt then get rid- not worth the continual worry.

rayro2 · 26/06/2023 18:05

..also Prague is a stag do destination - doubt it was picked because prostitution is legal unless they are all in cahoots to get their end away which would be unlikely surely!

Continue playing it cool and occupy yourself- if he’s a cheater then you’ll no doubt find out one day!

Softoprider · 26/06/2023 18:10

Listen ladies, the reason these men go to places like Prague and Portugal etc.., is because what happens in Prague... stays in Prague.

Daisiesandprimroses · 26/06/2023 18:18

Softoprider · 26/06/2023 18:10

Listen ladies, the reason these men go to places like Prague and Portugal etc.., is because what happens in Prague... stays in Prague.

Hmm
Brightbear · 26/06/2023 18:22

GreyCarpet · 26/06/2023 17:44

Why is it controlling?

She is free to set her own boundaries as he is free to set his.

He is free to respect her boundaries or not.

They are then both free to build.a stronger relationship together or find someone with whom they are each more compatible.

I'd rather be in a relationship where each person can be open and honest about their boundaries tbh.

If my intended husband said “my boundaries” mean I dictate where you go as I don’t trust you. I’d tell him to
fuck right off!

jesus can you imagine what’s next, you can’t go to a pub, you can’t go out alone, you can’t work with women.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/06/2023 18:38

Bookworm20 · 26/06/2023 14:17

I would also add that if my fiance chose Prague as his stag do destination. We wouldn't be getting married any longer.

Its not about trust. It would be about him choosing a place like prague. And then likely trying to sell it as the 'cheap beer' option.

Hmmmm, if 'cheap beer' is more important than the reputation he'll get going there, and more important spending his beer money in a place known for its sex tourism - Just to save a few quid on beers - not the sort of bloke I'd want to marry.

So it's absolutely about trust
Its not about trust. It would be about him choosing a place like prague. And then likely trying to sell it as the 'cheap beer' option. if you trusted him, you would trust him when he said its the cheap beer and pretty buildings. But if you don't have trust, then it's especially important to have strong boundaries

drpet49 · 26/06/2023 18:47

Brightbear · 25/06/2023 20:55

This site is full of totally insecure man hating women…..

Honestly Herod would be at home here!

This. Either you trust him or you don’t OP.

DeflatedAgain · 26/06/2023 19:32

Don't worry about it, OP.

You shouldn't get worked up over something that's completely out of your control. All will be fine

Squtternutbosh1 · 26/06/2023 21:46

Jesus imagine the cystitis

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