Are all guys cheats given the opportunity?! Rant.

[Buttercups3926]

I had to go away for a conference last week where various offices from across the country got together for a party. Around 100 people attended with the average ages being around 24-40. Let's say it was 50 men and 50 women.... Most of the men there were married/children/serious relationships. There was lots of drink involved. 2 different men tried it on with me at various stages of the evening. A 40 year old with a wife (one child and his wife is expecting in a few weeks), and 27 year old who I've just Facebook stalked and he's in a 10 year relationship.

I mean this isn't all men. It's not even 10% of the crowd. But for some reason it's really got my back up.... rant over.

experiences anyone?

Honestly, this is the most depressing thread.

Plenty of men have good ethics - ones people fancy.

Just like all women are gold-digging bimbos out to trap men with pregnancy.

So many sexist generalisations.

Look, you already KNOW your husband cheated on you more than once.

This party full of idiots was a reminder.

Your husband is not all men.

Hopefully he's grown out of it. But it's not irrational to worry about your specific husband since he has form for it.

Unfortunately I'd say the majority given the opportunity and knowing they wouldn't be found out, basing this on my own experiences of being propositioned by most men I've encountered when younger despite giving out zero signals.

It appears that men are more prone to cheating than women, though the gap is not as wide as some on here might suspect.

https://fincham.info/papers/2016-infidelity-cop.pdf

Boring. This again. I never have and never would, goes against my principles.

I work in a heavily male-dominated field, with lots of overseas travel. And I agree with this below. It’s based on years of field experience, not just assumption and judgement, depressing and demoralising as it is.

Unfortunately OP, I do think that an awful lot of men would cheat, if given the chance - yes

But you’re going to be inundated with responses from women married to men who ‘aren’t like that’.

I think the answer to the paradox of men blatantly being more vastly willing to cheat than women yet still finding women to cheat with.

Men are gagging to cheat but rarely get the chance, but women who are far less interested in cheating have the opportunity everywhere. If a women has a single crazy moment something will come of it. Men could have permanent desire to cheat and get nowhere.

I've noticed in couples the woman often has had more sexual partners even though he was actively shagging anything that moves while she was being highly discerning and only having sex when a LTR seems likely. Same reason, IMHO.

Right, deleting my account.

If Andrew Tait were a woman he'd be posting this sort of thing.

On Mumsnet men are always biologically determined to be cheats / domestic abusers / rapists.

The trans paranoia now makes sense in this context.

OpenDoors72 · Today 10:00
Right, deleting my account.

If Andrew Tait were a woman he'd be posting this sort of thing.

On Mumsnet men are always biologically determined to be cheats / domestic abusers / rapists.

The trans paranoia now makes sense in this context.”

Quite

Yes.

I used to go to a lot of conferences. I absolutely hated the atmosphere. Yes, lots of men in long-term relationships shagged female conference-goers, who were also mostly in long-term relationships. A colleague of mine shagged a bloke at a conference the week before her wedding.

The moral of the story is don't let your partner go on any work conferences... 😁

I just wanted to ask was it one night stands or a kiss? Trying to work out whether I can get through something similar

No, not all men. Me for example.
I spent many years travelling for work most months, including to some pretty exotic places around the world, but mainly UK.

I am not a heavy drinker and find the whole 'get pissed with colleagues while away' and odd culture - you are my colleague, not my friend. My relationship was valuable to me, my job valuable to me also. I had kids who I felt benefitted from having two of us caring and bringing them up. There was far, far too much to lose by cheating. I found meeting people and travelling fun.

And I found most people do not - they talk about family, about life, and it is clear that they are not looking for an affair.

I did not cheat.

I was cheated on. Because she got pissed at a work do.

So not all men, and women are not averse to it either.

This won't be popular but women cheat too but are often better at concealing it. This isn't to forgive the fact that some men cheat also, but there are people regardless of sex who when presented with the opportunity would cheat. I don't think all men would even if it was on a plate, but yes some would.

Yep, that’s MN for you though a lot of the time. It’s quite sad really how so many people on here seek to view men.

I think some do so to seek validation in their experiences ie I was cheated on but men will cheat on any woman so I feel a bit better about it, whilst others are shaped by their experiences which is human. I think there are elements of being wary of men which are justified and sadly needed. Most recognise that not all men are whatever but that it would be unwise for example to affect a lift off of a random man in the middle of nowhere (not sure when the situation would arise but you get what I mean- you'd apply this knowledge to your judgment of risk which we need to do as women).

A conference has all the factors which is probably why it happens so much there. Loads of free alcohol, time away from home, everyone on hotel rooms, and also often where you might not know anyone (the latter may lead to people drinking more and/or taking more risks). It just has all the components to enable cheating (obviously not just men, as they need a woman to cheat with!!). But yes, definitely to try it on.

Have to laugh at this, don't think taxi drivers have much sex appeal?? 🤔🫣

Its having stuff in common too I think. I went on a lot of conferences, events and overseas visits in my first graduate job and its surprising how much you can get to know people in this environment. Obviously never agree with cheating but agree that its an ideal environment.

That's a good point too. Anything where you then add alcohol and lots of it is just asking for trouble. Plus it's not often you literally have a hotel room right there, it's all about opportunity.

They don't have to be handsome when they're dealing with inebriated, off their face women. Alcohol raises testosterone in women, combined with the reduction of inhibitions it causes; at peak drunkenness (the end of the night) taxi drivers sometimes "benefit" from that. I know of several examples. Women drink, horny, beer goggles- sometimes desperate/down about going home having not met a man/gotten off with a man.

My aquaintance has a good friend with bipolar and regularly has to extract her from hooking up with taxi drivers after nights out (if she stays at hers but she's not out too).

A relative of mine had also hooked up with/shagged several taxi drivers on nights out - she has an alcohol problem and is a text book vulnerable narcissist.

I think all men have the potential to cheat.

I am single after my ex left after 3 years. He was with someone else quickly so I suspect he was at least talking to her before he moved out.

That was a year ago and still grates on me as that woman, tries to intimidate me even now. Constantly looked at my LinkedIn profile and I have no social media, yet she tried, I think by accident to Facebook friend request my mum.

Yet the reason I commented on here. I randomly went on a friendly chat website one evening, as I do not want a relationship as too wounded. Yet this nice-looking man messages me. Then tried for a couple of weeks to get me to meet him. He looked vaguely familiar. He was sending me photos from nights out he was having. In one photo was a man I recognised who lived on my mum's street.

I sent the photo to my old male school friend and asked if he knew the man I was talking to. Right away Chris said, "I am sure he's married Michelle, let me find out". I don't have social media, yet sure as hell he was and a photo of the man I was chatting to with his wife was pinged in my inbox. I even knew her!

I felt so sorry for her, told him what a shit thing he was trying to do, trying to get another woman to meet him.

He then removed himself from the site, I didn't tell his wife as I was not getting involved and she will find out the truth, eventually herself.