Are all guys cheats given the opportunity?! Rant.

[Buttercups3926]

I had to go away for a conference last week where various offices from across the country got together for a party. Around 100 people attended with the average ages being around 24-40. Let's say it was 50 men and 50 women.... Most of the men there were married/children/serious relationships. There was lots of drink involved. 2 different men tried it on with me at various stages of the evening. A 40 year old with a wife (one child and his wife is expecting in a few weeks), and 27 year old who I've just Facebook stalked and he's in a 10 year relationship.

I mean this isn't all men. It's not even 10% of the crowd. But for some reason it's really got my back up.... rant over.

experiences anyone?

I think many women have had married men come on to them throughout their lives, just as you have. This proves that lots of married men would cheat but it doesn't prove that most would. I bet most of the married men you've met don't come on to you - you're focusing on the ones that have, not the ones that haven't!
But yes, it's too many.

No. You've answered your own question in your first post:

I mean this isn't all men.

I've worked in events for 30 years. I have seen it all. From the quietest guy in accounts, to the CEO who's wife joins him the next day. And women are nearly as bad.
Of course not all men and women cheat but right time, right circumstance, many do.

I read a lot on here about affairs, more rarely about drunken trysts. It's the trysts that are the skeletons in most peoples closets.

*20 and whose 🙄

It does seem to be an uncomfortable fact of life that a minority of men will cheat given the opportunity. I remember my DM talking about different couples she knew & calling the male ‘A Ladies Man’ This was decades ago.
Of course it takes two to tango & the more these creeps are turned down maybe in the future the potentially unfaithful will give up. Somehow I doubt it.

In my early twenties, I worked somewhere in a big office. At one end of the room we're all the admin women. At the other end were all the men in accounts.

The Christmas party came up, I paid for my ticket. The week before the women asked me who in accounts I had my eye on for the Christmas party. I was a bit surprised and said no one- I had a boyfriend.

They all laughed at me. They were all married, as were the men in accounts, but every year they all hooked up with each other for the Christmas party 🤷🏻‍♀️

I didn't go.

I think lots of people cheat and lots of people don't.

Of course they’re not.

People keep saying monogamy isn't a natural state.

Monogamy is very very much a natural state. We pair bond. Women want to secure resources & support for them and their kids men want to ensure their kids are their kids Many also want to provide resources a d aid the survival of their kids. We are wired to paid bond, to form partnerships and family units.

However life long/very long term monogamy is perhaps not a natural state (while serial monogamy is).

Most people are serial monogamists. A minority are not "capable" of monogamy at all. Apparently that's even got a genetic element.

The serial monogamy has a side dish of opportunistic cheating. For a proportion of people, but not all.

It's nowhere near as simple "monogamy is not a natural state.

They all laughed at me. They were all married, as were the men in accounts, but every year they all hooked up with each other for the Christmas party

From a purely practical viewpoint; honestly what's the point with most men? Their sex skills tend to be really lacking and one can only presume most of them have had fakers (who admit to it on every thread on here about sex/orgasms) ruin them.

And they're not likely to make an effort drunk, for a hook up either. So what are the women getting out of it?

A shit, drunk shag and their work colleague knowing what they look like naked a d having a low opinion of them (because men also tend to be very judgemental of women for cheating and having NSA sex while not judging themselves of course).

I read many threads on here about men cheating and their wives/partners are so shocked and thought it would never happen to them.
I'm happily married but very suspicious of everything just due to what I read on here. I've had family 'not blood' offer me money to sleep with them 😮 I declined obviously and kept the dirty secret so as not to blow up a family.
I would like to add that I've been cheated on in the past by a taxi driver. The whole company was at it ! A bouncer too! I always advise everyone not to go near either and my friend would like to add her band player husband was a serial cheat too !

Bouncers, taxi drivers and band members are known to be high risk partly because of the bar,/club/social/drinking contexts they work in. Bouncers and band members also have a status (bouncers from being perceived as string and tough and having control over access to a venue, band members - obvious).

I don't know about the rest of the UK but here, police are also considered a high risk cheating profession. And the and forces have a terrible rep for it too, esp when they're stationed without their partner/family.

It's a cliche but some jobs/professions are cliches for good reason.

*armed forces

Men (and women) in sales. Especially at events.
I suppose you need a certain level or confidence/charisma to be a sales person and this lends itself to building 'relationships' with the opposite sex.
Sales conferences are literally sexfests.

It takes constant discipline not to cheat. Many don't have that discipline and a lot of the ones who don't cheat are only that way through lack of opportunity.

This

*It takes constant discipline not to cheat.?

Does it? Surely all men don't have women throwing themselves at them constantly?

The bottom line is you should never trust another 100%. Anyone is capable of cheating and sometimes it happens due to other contributing factors, so being as things can change within relationships, the possibility is always there, doesn’t matter if you’re man or woman or have a high moral compass, sometimes situations and circumstances make perfect storms and people do crazy things.

Anyone can cheat, even you! (Men are a lot more likely to though compared to women in general)

I am a woman and I cheated on my ex-partner. I never thought I would, or I could but I did.

People are forgetting that men have a whole industry set up for them to cheat. Prostitution!

I'm sure most people (men and women) have done it at some point - even the nice one's. I saw mine as a learning experience. I learnt that if I'm tempted It's because I'm not happy in my relationship and that I need to sort it out.

The people who get away with it and enjoy it are probably very good at compartmentalising their lives. I'm sure they love their wives but don't see sex as a big deal or important.

Lol. Quite.
There's about as much chance of a man needing to excercise constant discipline due to the quantity of offers as a woman needing to due to the quality.

I wish that I was a journalist ! I'm just your average 30 year old. Admittedly, I would like to sleep with someone else purely to see what it's like but I wouldn't want to ruin my family, so I wouldn't. My feelings would also get in the way. It's only natural to fancy other people. I just feel sad knowing deep down others would cheat given the unexpected circumstances. For context, it was a mixture of sales colleagues, marketing and research analysts !!!

Oh and I also realise, if I had sex with someone else, it doesn't mean I don't love my DH. Maybe I've been stuck in the same relationship too long. I love him but I'm feeling so confused

No, maybe 10% or so at most.

It just makes me laugh when people say my Nigel would never cheat. That may be correct but how much interest if Nigel getting? If none then maybe he isn't as loyal as you think.