Anyone else just happy being single?

[MAREMCKENNA]

I'm 32.havr a four year old, have been on lots of dates, but in reality I don't think I want a relationship. Whenever I go on a date I dread it and feel like I'm doing it because it's the done thing. When I think about my future, I just don't see myself being with someone else. I'd love to have more children but this might not be a reality for me. I hate the idea of sharing my space, having to sleep in the same bed as someone, not being able to travel on my own with my son as often, having to ask permission before I go away for a few days etc etc. I honestly just really enjoy being on my own.

Does anyone else feel the same way? I've been single for 4 years and it has been the most enjoyable, fulfilling 4 years of my life and I really want it to continue.

For me it didn’t require effort. I just grew out of wanting to be in a relationship. I have worked hard on myself all my life, always striving to do better in my job, learn new things, read and think deeply about things. That all culminated in my 40s with a rapidly decreasing sex drive. Now I feel as if I’m the person I always wanted to meet. I’m not looking for someone to compliment me. I am very satisfied in my work life, I exercise a lot and have lots of interests. I am too tired at 51 to do anything much socially in the evenings although I have some good friends that I go out with now and again. but rather than that being sad, it’s liberating. What I need is time to relax, as am always busy. I’m not good at relaxing. But how you feel may depend on your age. When I was younger I really craved male attention. I don’t want a man now after a 25 year relationship.

@Hoppitybobbins i am almost fifty myself. Maybe I just need to give it more time. I have always enjoyed company - both platonic and romantic. I also love sex, so miss that aspect of being in a relationship too.

@occhiazzurri Thank you for your nice comment

I think perhaps you ought to not try and get used to life alone in that case. It sounds as if you’ll be an ideal partner for someone and that you ought to keep looking for a mate. I’m an awful partner because I get bored of the physical intimacy after a short while and will seek out more and more time on my own. I wish I felt like you more if I’m honest. It’s liberating to be like me and easier maybe but life is more enriching if you share it with someone. I don’t aspire to being alone, it has just ended up that I’m destined to be so through my day to day preferences. I have accepted that I need something else, and that something else if financial success and that keeps me motivated and means I don’t really have space in my life to share it.

i feel the same way. I was so happy in my last LTR. When it ended I was utterly heartbroken and I would love to find that type of relationship again ( without the awful break up).

breaking up is difficult at the best of times but I really feel for people who are left bereft and heartbroken. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be having to unravel the mess and staying cordial for children’s sake etc when you are emotionally hurt.

I honestly do not think it’s about feminism at all. In fact I think it’s a wonderful thing to love someone entirely. It isn’t a negative thing or sign of weakness. More about personality perhaps.

it must be the best thing ever to find your match, but I cannot think of a single attribute that I’m looking for in someone. No one will ever be funny enough, handsome enough, interesting enough or rich enough to get my pulse going. But I really think it’s all to do with sex drive which I don’t really have. I like people but not intimately. It doesn’t matter who they are I do not want to share my bed, body or life with them. If I was physically attracted to someone like I used to be in my younger years then that would be different. I can see some men are attractive but I’m not attracted to them. Maybe because I have no need for them and that’s the secret. That you become completely self reliant and that prevents the attraction from occurring?

Like, maybe desire is based on need?

Speaks on behalf of his wife. 100% she’d rather be single and speak for herself!