Anyone else just happy being single?

[MAREMCKENNA]

I'm 32.havr a four year old, have been on lots of dates, but in reality I don't think I want a relationship. Whenever I go on a date I dread it and feel like I'm doing it because it's the done thing. When I think about my future, I just don't see myself being with someone else. I'd love to have more children but this might not be a reality for me. I hate the idea of sharing my space, having to sleep in the same bed as someone, not being able to travel on my own with my son as often, having to ask permission before I go away for a few days etc etc. I honestly just really enjoy being on my own.

Does anyone else feel the same way? I've been single for 4 years and it has been the most enjoyable, fulfilling 4 years of my life and I really want it to continue.

Yes. Planning to leave DH this year and talking to solicitors. Gonna be painful and I stand to lose so much....its almost unbearable to think about how much I could lose with the kids and financially. But the driver isn't finding someone new....its being single. Alone. Except for my kids.

From my dad, to my brother, to every boyfriend and now to my husband men have been selfish, entitled, unreliable, manipulative arses. Sometimes funny, sometimes caring but ultimately only in it for themselves and blinkered to those around them. In a way I just hadn't seen with women. Sure we women ain't perfect but I have no desire to share my home or bank account with a man ever again .

When he's back late...and I cook myself dinner and have a glass of wine and perhaps watch a film...oh such bliss. Or when he's out at the weekend and I do some odd jobs. I'm gonna paint the downstairs loo GOLD. I'm going to be able to go to the supermarket without hearing "oh I wouldn't have bought that" or telling me off for parking in the wrong place

Single. Never ready to mingle.

Other than me being slightly older than you, I could have written your OP! It would take for someone far better than any man I've met so far to turn up out of the blue for me to even consider it. I'm so content in my life that I almost feel bad for it when I listen to my friends complain about various things!

Yes, I love my single life. I have two dogs and they are all the comfort I need. I also have a FWB, and that satisfies my desire for sex, as well as having male company to go out with, cook each other meals then go back to our respective homes. I'm early 50s, financially independent and don't want another man sharing my home. I travel alone, go to cinema alone and bloody love my own space!

I can so relate to your post. Hope it all works out well for you xx

I’m single and not lonely. I have kids, pets, job, uni, decent friends. I definitely don’t intend to live with anyone and love having my bed to myself. I do miss the physical side sometimes but like that there is no one demanding from me on a regular basis what they want and what I can/can’t do. Occasionally I think it would be nice to have a holiday/dinner with someone. But again I can do those things with my friends. I have set my bar high if someone comes into my life they need to be amazing because I’m not settling.

Me!! Ex husband left when I was pregnant, 8 years ago. I’ve had three year long relationships since but after the last one (which I ended as I really couldn’t be arsed with having no time to myself) I am done. And I couldn’t be happier.

the relief I felt when I came to this decision was immense. I can spend my money on whatever I like (mostly my child!) I can go to the pub with friends. Book a holiday where I want to go. I don’t have to worry about walking on eggshells and trying to please anyone but myself and my child. It’s great!

Strangely saw my ex today in passing at the supermarket, yes I'll admit she is one of a kind but to be honest I've not met anyone similar since.

Been around 15 years since we were together, since then I've took part with the odd short lived flings but nothing serious.

At some point I'll meet a Lovley person or at least as close as.

You’ve realised you’re happy so why change it? They say in life there’s only one person who can make you happy and that’s yourself- your decisions your choices , you go for it OP if anything I’m jealous 😆

You really have to wonder about people like that and what their agenda is (and in fact if they are really happy)

You really have to wonder about people like that and what their agenda is (and in fact if they are really happy)

A point made by a few posters the last time she turned up. For some reason she regards people saying they're happy to be single as a deep personal insult to her and her DH. For someone who professedly 'didn't care' that people were happy single she spend an awful lot of time telling us so.

It's probably too early for me to say how I'll feel longer term. I separated from my husband 4 months ago. I'm enjoying my time to myself and with my children. It's very freeing not to have to consider someone else (granted, the someone else I was considering until recently was a narcissistic man child, so my view is skewed!) I have very little free time so I think dating would feel like a chore and it couldn't go anywhere as I'd only be able to see them once a fortnight! I'm content as I am for now.

@Meepme I think that maybe I could TBH. As long as both parties were ok with that I think it might be exactly what I need. I've no idea where to begin though and don't want to put myself at risk....

Honestly i dont know - lots of people use FAB Swingers as somewhere casual. I met someone on a dating site and saw him casually for ages. He was essentially a nice loser and i had low self esteem and enjoyed the attention. I realised after a while that i wanted much more from someone ie the whole package with someone decent and not just casual.

My friend met her fwb socially but even then i can see that whilst it is exciting yet she is still hoping to meet someone decent. I think there can be an emptiness that comes with these things unless you are strong enough to me emotionally detached.

It's all very hard to make a connection these days. I hope you find yours. Im always so good at making connections with women mainly but i never seem to meet anyone decent!

Was the person who insists that all the studies of single/childfree women being the happiest demographic is nothing but propaganda, so all the sad single women can use it as a cope?
😂😁

*was it the person

I think you can be happy single if the alternative is loads of shitty behaviour, stress, abuse etc. But if it were someone decent, kind and normal, then of course, its nice to date. I think a lot of people have had bad experiences and are enjoying their stress free lives!

I also think you can be happy single even if the alternative is a kind loving relationship. I'm not happy being single simply because I don't want to be abused, I just like being on my own.

Was the person who insists that all the studies of single/childfree women being the happiest demographic is nothing but propaganda, so all the sad single women can use it as a cope?

I don't recall exactly but it seems familiar. We're all so unhappy single that we're really saying we're happy to rationalise ourselves out of our misery, sort of thing.

That’s interesting, as divorced woman with married and divorced friends. I would say the divorced ones look much happier than the married ones as a rule. They tend to have less money but they complain less and seemed to lead happier lives. 🤷🏻‍♀️

47yrs old, been single for over 5 years after a short term relationship. My last long term relationship was 10yrs ago!

No way would I welcome a relationship now. I have a job I love, 3 cats, my lovely dd and a little house of my own.

Agree with this. My friend and I go out on a dancing night on occasion (not overly often as your financial point applies), but when we go out, there will usually be a general chit chat of:

Are you two ladies divorced?
We say yes.
Reply is usually, yes we can tell.

At times we have asked, how can you tell. They always say things like, its the carefree attitude, a happiness about you, a certain glow, you take care of yourselves etc etc.

This is not as a pick up line from men, this is usually from other women, who sometimes are divorced themselves and sometimes not. And more than once, "you are the lucky ones" is what they say back.

I did not take too much notice at first, but they are right. I do live more carefree, happier, I do now have time to take care of myself, as I always found to be putting myself last while unhappily married.

Unless some unicorn comes along, I have absolutely no intention of changing this.

im 41 now, been single for almost 5 years. Very happy, happier than I ever was in a relationship.

I'm in my late sixties, divorced for 22 years after a 20 year marriage. I've had a few relationships, and they were okay, but the spark disappeared very quickly. I've been completely single for 17 years and love it! Occasionally I meet someone I think might be worth giving a go, but as they're almost always younger than me by about 25-30 years (I haven't met a man in my age bracket that I feel anything other than friendship for) I change my mind within about an hour! Couldn't bear to actually be with someone who is too young to know who Leonard Cohen is 😉.

You sound like you would feel lost without your wife, I hope she feels exactly the same way and of so I am happy for you both.

*if so