Anyone else just happy being single?

[MAREMCKENNA]

I'm 32.havr a four year old, have been on lots of dates, but in reality I don't think I want a relationship. Whenever I go on a date I dread it and feel like I'm doing it because it's the done thing. When I think about my future, I just don't see myself being with someone else. I'd love to have more children but this might not be a reality for me. I hate the idea of sharing my space, having to sleep in the same bed as someone, not being able to travel on my own with my son as often, having to ask permission before I go away for a few days etc etc. I honestly just really enjoy being on my own.

Does anyone else feel the same way? I've been single for 4 years and it has been the most enjoyable, fulfilling 4 years of my life and I really want it to continue.

I guess that anybody who has survived a divorce knows that a) you can survive everything so don’t sweat the small stuff AND b) that if you could walk out of a major relationship with all the consequences of it, you know you are strong enough now not to put with any nonsense for long! 😁

I love being single. I'm never having a "normal" relationship. I've had some amazing FWBS over the years. All the benefits of a relationship without all the problems.

I’m single for the first time since I was 22 and I’ve never been happier. Or content. I left my mother who was an emotional leech/narc for a man who couldn’t function doing anything unless told in very exact detail, 35 years and possibly half my life wasted giving my energy and own well-being up for others. I have kids and they have SEN but it’s still not the same exhausting level of caregiving. With adults who are meant to be equal or even taking the lead, when they don’t it’s possible one of the most draining experiences you can have.

On the nights the kids are with their dad, I sit with wine and old box sets streaming, and I just think ‘this is bliss, this is truly heaven’. That’s not to say I’d have it every night, I miss my chaotic little ones eventually 😂.

I do miss sex though. That stopped well before I fully ended my relationship and I’m yet to ‘get back out there’. I’m not even sure I want to have any intimacy with a man again but I have (hopefully) many years to work that out.

Excellent point. Being single is for many of us the preferred option out of all other options, not just the ‘better than a crap relationship’ option.

This is exactly how I feel.

I ended a two year relationship in 2013 and apart from a fling with someone much younger several years ago, I've been solidly single.

It's brilliant. Total freedom to do what I want, when I want, how I want. Bliss.

I'm an introvert and a natural loner and at peace with that after years of being in suffocating relationships.

I will never share my space again as there's nothing to be gained (from my experience of living with three different men in my twenties and thirties). I'm unusual though due to being child-free and a high earner, it might be more difficult for those who have children.

Another singleton here. I love my PEACEFUL life. I am aware though that it’s OK for those of us who have had the children we wanted. I love many men and still think the goal is to bring up children together when possible.

I left my marriage when my children were adults so they would have the stability and money they needed when they were teenagers. It was a sacrifice and it was hard.

it’s my time now though. I am so tired after a marriage to a serial cheater and lazy husband . My line is ‘poor but happy’. I love my life. One thing that struck me on here as very true is that older men get advice to get a woman ‘to look after you’. SOD THAT 😄

On ridiculously hot days like this, I'm reminded why I'm happy to be single. Just to decide to stay indoors with movies and an ice cream, without having to consult anyone else!

I predict that there is going to be an ever growing number of very happy 50/60 year old plus single women who will thrive in blissful peace, and an equally increasing number of unhappy 50/60+ single men who will spend the rest of their lives lonely and miserable and blame everyone other than themselves for it. And, they will get no sympathy from me.

DB is recently divorced and like me, probably would have been happier not getting married or having a relationship to start with (except he wouldn't have his kids). He can indulge all his hobbies to his heart's content or do nothing. Just like I do.

Sitting in my pants without exDH thinking, oooh, she's down to her underwear, that means SEX is on the cards! God, in retrospect he was boring.

Oh god sounds like my ex, changing my clothes, getting into a bath, wearing a dress, all reasons for a grope and being treated like a walking sex doll. I still have to mind what I wear when we do child handover as he makes comments that make my skin crawl.

I’ve been listening a lot to the ‘Labour’ song by Paris Paloma and the line ‘just an appendage, live to attend him’ hits hard.

Yep 😅

I’m not but I really want to be which is why I am following this thread. Hoping you lovely people will show me the way!

After a long and emotionally abusive marriage, I left and tried to rebuild my self esteem for a while before trying OLD. I’ve been screwed over by no less than three men in the past year. Each time I thought I had found someone special and each time, I was let down.
The last time is very recent and I can’t face trying to get over another heartbreak.

I'm definitely happier single because it was such a stress with an abusive ex then a series of exes who were nice but had their own issues. I realise now i was incredibly giving of myself whereas it wasnt reciprocated. Sometimes I feel like I do want someone but I think that's a lot to do with being a single parent and in our year (small), everyone is in a relationship. So you end up at parties chatting to lovely couple parents who really support each other and I then feel a bit meh. But I perk up after a while.

I think it’s funny when people are shocked and find me odd for liking being single. I feel as if I have something over them like I’ve been brave enough to debunk the myths and ‘go to the other side’ whilst they are still cowering in their relationship. Idk why but it amuses me. I feel contented, stress free and empowered.

Love love love this !!

I would love to be happy single, but I really struggle with it. I have children and miss adult company in the evenings and when they are at their dads. I’d love someone to go out with for a drink or a meal, weekends away and that kind of thing. I have friends but they are often busy. How can I get to the place where you are all at, happily single? My previous relationships were good ones, no abuse or unpleasantness so I don’t feel any relief at being single, just lonely.

I hugely enjoy my single status after being in one long term marriage and a 3.5 year relationship after marriage broke down.

I love not having to make compromises, not having to take anyone into account, no obligations, unreasonable expectations or stress. Just pure bliss, my house my rules, nobody there to boss me around or dictate anything. Nobody sponging off me or using me and my possessions however they like, pushing the boundaries more and more each time.

Surprisingly, I have not for a minute felt lonely since breaking up about 10 months ago. Busy job, a child to look after and a house to run.

Only I decide how I like spending the little spare time I gave.

That reminds me of my ex turning up at mine and telling me to go and get into character. I look back on my old self and shudder at the shit I put up with. He was a disgusting sex pest and a violent thug,

I spent 1.5 years alone (probably even longer as the rest were short lived relationships). I posted above. The best thing for me about being single was focussing on myself and my friends who made me happy. A partner brings a whole new set of challenges even if they are wonderful eg in law issues. It's hard without sounding condescending but I enjoyed not being concerned with anyone else!

Yes, far happier single.
Never again!

@FuckOffTom

I see this post has been revived from mid last year.

Just hoping that you have been able to see the way now and are in a better place.

No. I'm not happy being single.

I know this is anti-feminist and goes against MN general consensus, but I would love to have a boyfriend again.

I fantasize about having someone decent to come home to, someone I can talk to, and someone just for me.

I fully realise that some people on here have been burned by bad marriages and relationships, husbands and wives.

But I also don't think every marriage and relationship is like that. I think a lot of people of MN and elsewhere are happy with their DH/DW but we don't read about it.

I'd love to spend my time with a nice decent boyfriend. I think that with the right man, I would be much happier than I am right now.

I was thinking yesterday that sometimes I'd love to have someone who thinks I'm marvellous, cherishable and who wants to spoil me; and who says so and shows it. The chances of that, however, are about on a par with me being chosen for the England women's team, and it's a fleeting thought anyway, so no point dwelling on it.

@cassiatwenty I can empathise with how you feel because this is also reflective of how I feel. I just think that at my age (mid 40s) it is just not possible to meet anyone decent for a fulfilling relationship any longer in my case so I am working on making my single life as happy and fulfilling as possible. It is not for lack of trying over the past seven years.