Anyone else just happy being single?

[MAREMCKENNA]

I'm 32.havr a four year old, have been on lots of dates, but in reality I don't think I want a relationship. Whenever I go on a date I dread it and feel like I'm doing it because it's the done thing. When I think about my future, I just don't see myself being with someone else. I'd love to have more children but this might not be a reality for me. I hate the idea of sharing my space, having to sleep in the same bed as someone, not being able to travel on my own with my son as often, having to ask permission before I go away for a few days etc etc. I honestly just really enjoy being on my own.

Does anyone else feel the same way? I've been single for 4 years and it has been the most enjoyable, fulfilling 4 years of my life and I really want it to continue.

me! I have a 7 yo & I’m just completely content & happy with my life. I would never be interested in OLD & even if I met someone irl that I felt enhanced my life, I would keep it separate from my home & my daughter. Never say never but I can see myself staying single until she leave home.

I will then find a companion at the local book club to go out for meals with! But we will live in our own houses.

Agree. I've always been happiest on my own.

My last relationship ended a few months ago and the day it ended I went and ran a 10k race to celebrate. I don't miss him at all. I don't think men bring out the best in me either - I always get fatter and complacent.

Me too, OP.

I have a friend who dipped her toes into online dating after divorce and after about a year decided if she didn't laugh about her experiences she'd cry. Her big question - WTF is wrong with men?

'WTF is wrong with men?'

This is the crux of it. Something goes wrong somewhere. I teach and I teach a lot of absolutely lovely little boys. Loads of them. Something then goes wrong, teenage years maybe? Because I have not met loads of lovely men.

OMG! THIS.

Yes, I am a better, happier, more content, and more engaged person when I'm single, for sure.

I can't really see myself getting into a traditional 'spend all of your time with your partner' relationship again, and I don't like the idea of moving-in with a partner either.

The way I see it, a lot of the main pressures that push a lot of other women into relationships (financial, desire for kids, desire to conform to the life checklist of marriage, etc) don't apply to me, so of course if you take those things away, the relationship would have to be really, really special to offset the annoying restrictiveness that can actually be the reality of being in a relationship with someone. And let's face it, the vast majority of relationships don't even nearly meet that bar,, so it's not worth it.

8 years single. First 4/5 years I chased sex. The next 2 looked for a relationship.

The last year, happily without. Had fwb, but no more. And I'm really happy not chasing dates.

If it happens, then great, but my life is so full and happy, a man needs to add something very special to my life, and they tend not to haha

I feel exactly the same, I'm 54 I've been single for 3 years now and I love it. I can't be bothered to date, OLD is mostly idiots just wanting sex, or they don't look like their photo!

I own my home outright so I'll never get married again as I don't want anyone having half my stuff. I also don't want to share my bed or home with anyone but my daughter 😊

It has taken me a very long time to be content with the fact that I am better off single. I lose myself in relationships and I think I have never really been that interested in being in one but I had relationships because I felt that was what I had to do to prove to society that there was "nothing wrong with me".
There is an awful lot of societal pressure to have a partner, then get married and have children etc.
That was never what I wanted. I didn't want children even from being young but people kept telling me I'd change my mind. I never did. I was absolutely sure that wasn't for me, but someone I still felt like I had to have a man.
I wasn't happy in my relationships and in my 20s in particular I'd run off the second a bloke seemed to be edging towards being more committed. Of I went, running for the hills!.
In my 30s I had two long term live-in partners and I was so unhappy with both of them. I completely lost myself - especially with the second of them.
Never again.

I've finally accepted this is who I am. I like being single. I can't be arsed with having to deal with some man and their needs. I like my own space and that's the way it is going to stay.
I do get judged by people - both male and female. Women really look down their noses at me because I'm not a proper woman with husband and children (I live in a European country which is quite backward in a lot of ways).
Men either think I must be in desperate need of a shag and constantly make inappropriate suggestions or imply that the reason why I am single is because I am too ugly to get a man.
Fuck the lot of them....

I have trust issues
Therefore it limits the people I build friendships with that have potential to lead to a relationship.

There is one person where I think it's a possibility it could go further but I I've left it up-to the person to suggest a date, as at the moment they are already dating. And personally I prefer them to be single before starting a new relationship.

That said my ex is married but based on first hand intelligence, their marriage is on the rocks due to affairs.

Overall personally it would be nice to meet the special other, at some point.

I dont have a child YET, but will be doing a FET next month.

I feel exactly the same. I miss sex, sometimes, but I honestly do not see myself sharing a life with anyone (apart from my future child).
I am too set in my ways, and I dont see it as a bad thing!

Reading with interest. I'm in my late 40s and have had several relationships with men who were ultimately selfish. I met a man who I thought was different and brilliant, married him and seven years later he's turned out to be as baffling and disappointing as the others and we are getting divorced.

I've had it with men. I'm really sad but can already feel the beginning of new possibilities, the joy of freedom, the possibility of being myself without excuses.

But, and here's the issue. I like sex. and I would like it to be part of my future. Do I need a man for this? Maybe not because let's be honest I can take care of myself more skilfully as my husband could. How do I fulfil this part of life? Any advice welcome!!

That might be true for you, but it’s a little sad that you think most would prefer to be single given the choice - blatantly nonsense.

My wife and I are very happy, and wouldn’t rather be single (having both been single for a good while previously).

I get that.

I am divorced snd definitely don't want to date, ever.

My friends have got the message, luckily, so I don’t get pressured into getting "out there".

I am quite happy in my own company. My kids are young adults and when they fledge, I will still be happy to be single. I spent far too long being absolutely miserable in relationships, better off on my own.

im definitely not happy single was for the first few Years now 6 years later I do miss having a partner and miss sex (fwb are not for me so that’s no an option I would consider)

Very. Men are nothing but energy draining, life draining, gaslighting cheating vampires, and I am sick of them.

@anthurium YOU ARE LIVING MY DREAM!

Genuinely - this was my life plan until the age of 24 when, giving in pathetically to social expectations, I shacked up with the first of two big mistakes.

I never did have the child. I'm not complaining; there are advantages. But it's not unlikely that a deliberately planned pregnancy would've gone better for me. As it turns out, being both child-free and now resolutely single means I've been able to approach old age in full, joyful SELFISHNESS.

I highly recommend it!

Yep. Lone parent since DD was 1 (ten years ago). Happily single since.

Yep, me! One long and one medium length relationship, last one ended when I was 28 and 9.5 years later I have no intention of ever being in a relationship again 😁 also childfree by choice.

As pps have said, I have a full and happy life and home packed with all the stuff I love and zero compromise - why would I throw a grenade into that in the form of a man! (Or a child, though I can see the potential joy in singlehood with your child and no hassle too).

It's been long enough now that very few people are stupid enough to pity me, but do still get some odd responses when asked about husband/wife/kids status when meeting new people!

Agree with this 💯

Me now! Tried for about 5 years with a lot of hope but ended up meeting nice blokes who drained me emotionally in every way because they werent ready/were broken/didnt see me as enough. I stopped valuing myself by this. Its so much easier alone and I now invest in new friendships (largely female) which makes me so happy.

@IAmBreathing could you do casual sex? It didn't work for me when I tried it but my friend is seeing someone super buff (like Magic Mike material) purely for amazing sex. Both are on the same page and she knows he's not her forever man.

8 years single. In my 50's.

Not a chance I'd get into another relationship. I did try one after my long marriage ended. That was the nail in the coffin really.

My life is calm now. I like calm.

Me! After spending the last 35 years in 3 relationships, I'm really enjoying being single. I particularly like making home improvements, or making substantial purchases, without having to 'run it by' my most recent ex first. He was/is a good man, but was always very obstructive about this sort of thing, finding a million reasons not to do it, as he really disliked change and/or spending money. I found the process of 'pitching my idea/negotiation' exhausting, irritating and depressing. I love the freedom, independence and peace a single life brings.

I enjoyed being single too, I did have quite an internal battle when I met now DH as I truly was happy and content before. I think it's a great state of mind to have though, some women are scared of being single and I think it means some put up with terrible men because of this. I know if things turned sour I'd be happy on my own and so have high standards.