Anyone else just happy being single?

[MAREMCKENNA]

I'm 32.havr a four year old, have been on lots of dates, but in reality I don't think I want a relationship. Whenever I go on a date I dread it and feel like I'm doing it because it's the done thing. When I think about my future, I just don't see myself being with someone else. I'd love to have more children but this might not be a reality for me. I hate the idea of sharing my space, having to sleep in the same bed as someone, not being able to travel on my own with my son as often, having to ask permission before I go away for a few days etc etc. I honestly just really enjoy being on my own.

Does anyone else feel the same way? I've been single for 4 years and it has been the most enjoyable, fulfilling 4 years of my life and I really want it to continue.

I thought this post divorce, but now have a new DP…. We don’t live together and likely never will. Both have really full lives.

I would never dream of asking his permission for anything, nor he of me. The right person should enhance your life, not restrict it.

Joining in.

I sometimes get lonely and wish I had someone here with me to share the burdens of life, such as looking at the garden and seeing how much needs doing, or when my car broke down a while back.

Then I remind myself that I just couldn't do it again, not full-time. Every relationship I've been in, I've lost something of myself, be it hobbies, career success, just time to decompress, and ended up miserable as life ended up revolving around everyone apart from myself.

I'm a huge introvert and very happy in my own company, which is in total contrast to my job, in which I deal with large numbers of people every day.

So when I get home, I need time to recharge. I have children (well, one young child, one mid-teen) and I really cherish my time with them just as much as the time I get to myself the week they're at their dad's.

My life is so busy with the kids, work, life admin and my hobbies when I'm on leave that I really couldn't slot anyone in without neglecting a huge chunk of either of those four, and what would be the point in that?

Even if Mr or Mrs Perfect were to walk through my door right now (please no, before getting dressed I look like the stereotypical crazy cat lady) they wouldn't end up more than part-time lovers, regardless of devotion. Living together and marriage are out of the question.

I was perfectly happy being single after my divorce when my kids were smaller, now they are adults and I'm in my early fifties I would like to meet someone. But when I was in the throes of working and raising my two children I really didn't want to have anyone win my life.

Nope I crave day to day companionship, physical intimacy in all forms from handholding, cuddles etc to sex and someone who genuinely cares about me

I feel like I might feel this way once my son no longer lives with me. Suspect I may wish to live separately though 😅

I am happy being single after marriage and then a relationship that didn't work out. I have DS8 so he keeps me busy and when he goes to his Dad's, I appreciate the quiet alone time or doing things with my friends. I don't have time to consider another grown up! I like sleeping by myself and having the bathroom to myself. I can eat what I like and when I like and I can watch what I want to on TV. There's no stress or tension or having to put up with someone else's habits. I would never actively seek out a relationship with a man again but if one comes along during the course of my life and something grows from that, then I would be open to it (can't see that happening though 😂).

it’s a little sad that you think most would prefer to be single given the choice - blatantly nonsense

Do you have any stats to back up that assertion of blatant nonsense? even looking at the responses to the OP it clearly ISN'T blatant nonsense that a lot of women prefer to be single. And what's 'sad' about someone's lifestyle choice just because it isn't yours?

Love, love, love my singledom.

I am 17 years alone now, absolutely through choice. I loved my late DH but have absolutely no desire to ‘start again’

I do what I like, when I like, where I like with whom I like. I choose where, when and how I spend the money I earn and live in a peaceful, calm, environment.

My focus is on family the the fabulous friends who share my love of walking, being outside and travelling.

When well meaning friends start the ‘you really shouldn’t be alone’ conversation I just smile sweetly and say ‘you should try it’

This is not how I expected to live the second half of my life, I expected to grow old as part of a couple, but I am so happy that I had the insight to give singledom a try for long enough to realise just how much I love it.

I've been single for 4 years now and I like it. Have had shitty relationships where I always felt like crap and after my last relationship I promised myself it wouldn't happen again. I've tried dating apps but I just get bored,and to be perfectly honest I just can't be bothered with it! I enjoy my own company, I have a dog and cat, I have two grown up children and friends , I love having the bed to myself, having the tv to myself, thinking about myself only and not worrying about another person. People are always asking if I'm dating or whatnot and seem surprised when I say nope, can't be arsed. For the first time in 45 years I can hand on heart say I'm the happiest I've ever been ❤️

@CherryCokeFanatic I'm the same.

It’s a man.
Men can’t stand that there are women who are single, even worse if they choose to be so. And to be happy about it!
That’s not allowed!

it’s a man.
Men can’t stand that there are women who are single, even worse if they choose to be so. And to be happy about it!
That’s not allowed!

It wasn't hard to guess that. Nor that a man would come on here scolding women for having an existence that doesn't centre his sex and telling us we're wrong and that we can't be happy single (in my case 30 years on).

This is a refreshing thread! Almost all my friends are in relationships and I look at them and don’t feel any envy. Yes, sometimes it would be nice to have someone to share the chores with but I’d rather have my own space and no drama.

I tell people I’m happily divorced! It’s been more than 30 years, and while I’ve had some relationships during that time I always knew I didn’t want to share my house or finances with someone again. The older I get the less, I miss the physical side, but I do have an FWB, we meet up occasionally.

Now I’m in my 60s, I am grateful that I’m not going to have to become an old man’s nurse, I saw my mother doing this. I have freedom, independence, lots of friends, and a great life.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain
@IdiotWhoDoesIdioticThings

I must admit I did have a little smile to myself when I saw it was a man posting that in response to my post. And then I decided it was best ignored. The irony was rather delicious.

When a thread like this starts there's usually one poster who comes on here with a long many paragraph* rant about she doesn't care what we think and how happy she is to be married - she does seem to take 'I'm happy to be single' as a personal insult. Surprised she hasn't turned up.

*I did count. Nine paras last time to tell us she doesn't care.

10 years single and the only reason I'd consider a relationship again is to have someone to go on holiday with/do stuff at weekends. I don't have kids but really enjoy my own company, am independent (live alone) but with a nice bunch of friends who share the same hobbies.

My last ex was a controlling prick and I became a shadow of myself. I haven't met a single bloke since with whom I'd want a relationship - they're either hard work, want a subservient girlfriend, have a wandering eye or are selfish. Or they snore. Friends do suggest dating again but based on some of their experiences it sounds horrific and I'm happy bumbling along alone!

I know the poster you mean Mrs Danvers. For her, and the bloke who responded to mine, I think 'why on earth did you click and open the thread?' The title is literally Are you happy single? So, why as someone who is happily married would you even open the thread, let alone spend an hour composing why all the other responses are wrong.

I think that because we're stepping outside what's regarded as a societal norm of being partnered up, they feel compelled to tell us where and why we're going wrong. Like not having children. We get it a bit on the childfree board.

Some people really can't see past the ends of their noses and accept that people live quite happily in their own different way.

Thanks for this thread!

Might not be a man replying above, it could be a F/F marriage.
Anyway. I am happy right now with my kids, cats and garde . I have loads of friends and a great social life.
I would however love another relationship and to feel cherished again. I just haven't got the time to date because I'm the main parent. Not 50/50 with my ex.
Equally, I'm not prepared to settle for what's on offer to me in the way of men. The apps are a cesspit and I don't want a man approaching his 60s.....Ewww

garden not garde

Yes thank you for the thread. It's interesting too to have a range of ages of respondents on here. I love my single life. Have two teen DC at home, a good job and lovely home. All my friends are in couples and I rarely envy them. The things I do miss are being cared for and loved (though in my relationships that was rarely sustained and men never quite managed to step up). I've had three long-term relationships and the last two were ultimately draining and very stressful. I love my own bed, not negotiating what to watch, choosing my own food and not having to justify myself to anyone. I do fantasize about meeting someone to have dinner, conversation and sex with now and then, but would never want to live with anyone again and have no idea how to meet someone like that as I don't want to do general online. As another poster said, maybe a book group but I've always avoided them! I don't think I will meet random appropriate men in my everyday life. My worry is that I will be late 50s when my DC leave. I think I would prob have more chance now of finding someone but I really feel I am just to busy with DC, friends and work. I've got no space! By the time I do have time, maybe I just won't fancy anyone my age!! The pool is definitely shrinking, if it exists... so my slight worry is that maybe I should act now but I'm doing nothing about it so clearly not very motivated!

What would I want one of those smelly things for,???

On the other hand might be helpful for dealing with tradesMEN - especially since brexit when the honest/reliable competition disappeared

Christ almighty yes! Just having lunch in an outdoor garden tearoom with birdsong and a stream. My ex would have moaned about the cost (as it didn't contain alcohol it's not worth it. Weird reasoning!)

Life's so much better without him moaning.

Me! I'm unable to work now due to disability lived alone for 7 years
Happy in my own company which is preferable to stress and drama
Gave up on men and got a dog
Much better company and pure love