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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I think I’m in love with my best friend

137 replies

whydoidothistomyself · 17/06/2023 09:06

My best friend is my world. We are so close - closer than I’ve ever been to anyone. He is the most important person in my life. We’re both single and in our 20s. We go on holiday alone together and talk constantly, we hold hands, we laugh hysterically together… the list goes on.

I have always felt like I didn’t really know love until I met him - real, unconditional, selfless love. But nothing has ever happened between us. The other night I just thought - am I being insane? Am I just merrily going along with a friendship with someone who I am meant to be with? I’ve known forever that I love him but it’s not been clear to me exactly what type of love.

We often say we treat each other like partners but we don’t fancy each other which I suppose is true but I wonder if maybe I do fancy him. I don’t know what to do - I could never lose him as a friend and I know I could speak to him because he wouldn’t make me feel bad in any way but I would hate to make things awkward.

All our friends have no idea why we aren’t together. And now I’m also wondering this.

I’m not sure what advice I want from this thread. Either I tell him or I don’t.

OP posts:
MissingMoominMamma · 03/07/2023 21:14

I’m not sure about the idea of increasing the touching. I had a male friend who did this and it made me really uncomfortable.

I would rather he’d have said that he wondered whether his feelings for me were changing, than do it creepily by stealth.

MissingMoominMamma · 03/07/2023 21:16

So sorry- I’ve just seen your update!! Congratulations!! 😃

Snowy2022 · 03/07/2023 21:19

I see the thread was from mid June- sorry missed it and your romantic journey. I LOVE a romantic story which this one truly was.

Seeing your previous update of laying on the sofa- the poor man fancied you rotten but wanted to do the right thing until you where 100% comfortable and bring it up- that's true love from my experience.

All the little favours he did for you- you missed the clues ( ok, I also once missed big big clues until a friend pointed them out and then, I could see everything- took the lead in our convo until I magically made him say his coffee invite was actually a 'date'- It was a proud moment for my skills :)

I am married now and really otherwise hated dating, but I acquired so many skills they are now being wasted.

Annalisea · 03/07/2023 21:22

So how are things now OP?

surreygirl1987 · 03/07/2023 21:23

Awwwwwwwwwwwww love this so much!!

kermitloving · 03/07/2023 21:53

That's so amazing

kermitloving · 03/07/2023 21:53

Was he a good kisser

SirVixofVixHall · 03/07/2023 22:02

So delighted for you both OP !

lemmein · 03/07/2023 22:16

Zoomed through this thread hoping for an update and yayyy - so happy for you OP! ☺️

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 03/07/2023 22:16

Aww this is so lovely 🥰.

OrlandointheWilderness · 03/07/2023 22:16

Awww that's amazing!!!! Perfect update!!! Have you kissed him yet?! 😂

Emmamoo89 · 03/07/2023 22:35

Aww so happy it worked out 😊 x

winteralready · 03/07/2023 22:57

Yay!

IAmSalmaFuckingHayek · 03/07/2023 22:59

I’m so happy I read this today, with the update. Not sure I could have handled the anticipation 😂

Completely not posting so this turns up on threads I’m on….

Amybelle88 · 03/07/2023 23:10

This has made my day 🥹🥹🥹

Need to know if you've kissed now 😂😂

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 23:30

whydoidothistomyself · 03/07/2023 20:11

Update!

So we talked about it today. And we were very honest. And we spoke about how no one makes us laugh like each other, and how no one makes us feel like each other, and how we’ve always assumed we don’t fancy each other, but that we have realised that this isn’t actually true. And the long and short of it is we are now dating!!! I can’t believe I’m actually writing this. It’s so surreal - I feel like I’m in a dream that I’m going to wake up from. I’ve always told myself that I don’t fancy him and that I don’t see him that way but this weekend has proved that isn’t true. And he feels the same. And I can’t believe it.

I am so, so happy.

Omg YES! 🙌 This is the exact update I was hoping for! Congratulations @whydoidothistomyself! All the best to you and your partner/best friend 🤣🥰

FatNoMoreSue · 03/07/2023 23:45

I love this!

Nepmarthiturn · 03/07/2023 23:53

What a lovely thread! 🥰

JFDIYOLO · 04/07/2023 00:26

💐👏💝💐👏💝💐👏💝💐👏💝

octoberfarm · 04/07/2023 06:34

Yay! So happy for you, OP!

TenThousandSpoons · 04/07/2023 06:45

Congratulations OP, lovely update! 🥰

Joystir59 · 04/07/2023 06:55

whydoidothistomyself · 03/07/2023 20:11

Update!

So we talked about it today. And we were very honest. And we spoke about how no one makes us laugh like each other, and how no one makes us feel like each other, and how we’ve always assumed we don’t fancy each other, but that we have realised that this isn’t actually true. And the long and short of it is we are now dating!!! I can’t believe I’m actually writing this. It’s so surreal - I feel like I’m in a dream that I’m going to wake up from. I’ve always told myself that I don’t fancy him and that I don’t see him that way but this weekend has proved that isn’t true. And he feels the same. And I can’t believe it.

I am so, so happy.

I'm so happy for you, so glad you pushed forward and seized your happiness

Yikesno · 04/07/2023 07:05

I love your story and update - so happy for you. As Ann Landers said, "love is friendship that has caught fire." ❤

CatMattress · 04/07/2023 07:06

Hah.i was going to say "fuck him and find out" but it looks like that's redundant!
Hope it was good, OP 😉

EmmaGrundyForPM · 04/07/2023 07:08

Fantastic news.

A similar thing happened to me, although the friendship wasn't as intense as yours. But I had a good male friend who ticked all the boxes except I didn't fancy him. Then one night we got very drunk and slept together. Turned out that we did fancy each other after all.

We recently celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary.....