How did you find out your dh or dp were cheating?

[Losforwords]

As the title says, I am just curious really as I have a really strong gut feeling but no firm evidence.

@TheFormidableMrsC @porkpiesinthepark same here! Do we get to form a club now 😆

I Think we may have been on the same threads at the time and if I’m correct I’ve often wondered how you are, how things turned out for you and most of all how your health is.

@PollyThePixie I'm ok Polly - thanks for asking. Still married. Still an avid mumsnetter!! I think H got the fright of his life and realised what a ridiculous twat he had been and that he had somewhat been downgraded in my eyes. I don't think I will ever feel quite the same if I'm honest. that 100% trust went out the window- but on the positive side, I changed some things, made new friends, stopped my life revolving totally round him and learned to not just go along with things that made me feel uncomfortable in order to appear 'cool' - and basically my view is he likes it or lumps it!!

One thing it has made me is more cynical - that's why I always feel aghast when mumsnetters say it couldn't happen to them as it only happens when there's a problem in the marriage- certainly didn't feel like there was one in ours. Problems with our business yes and the fact his mum was terminally ill- but those felt sort of separate - I do think now though that stuff going wrong outside the marriage can sometimes be a trigger with certain personalities to acting totally out of character.

I found the second phone...

I was blinkered. My sister recieved a message on Facebook saying show your sister, I was on a night out at the time but my sister was so upset she came and got me. It was the thread of messages between him and a women. Utter smut, I told him not to come home. Turned out he'd been leading a double life.
I know of his now wife and he's openly cheated on her, including sex on his stag do. I am so thankful I found out.

Stbxh ended our marriage, everyone I told thr news asked if there was an OW involved.

Stbxh denied this vehemently, I believed him.

Then another friend told me that I should be suspicious, which I then became.

Checked his email, we had eachothers passwords, found email of him and the OW applying for apartments for "them and their two children (ie my DDs)...

Confronted him, he denied it, than eventually caved and admitted it...

But obviously the affair only started after he ended our marriage....

I knew. I absolutely knew for ages and didn't trust myself. He was weird with his phone he bought new clothes he was spending a lot of time 'out with friends' he started going to the gym more and asking me to do things like shave his back.. he changed sexually as well. I knew and I felt like I needed proof but I never needed the proof because it was all right in front of me. The gotcha moment came when I had to ring the Police about some other terrible element of his behaviour and it was awful I wish I'd been able to act before then.

Oh sorry for the zombie thread revival didn't see the dates and the banned poster above resurrected it