How did you find out your dh or dp were cheating?

[Losforwords]

As the title says, I am just curious really as I have a really strong gut feeling but no firm evidence.

My gosh it’s so sad reading all those stories, I hope that each and every one of you lovely girls have managed to move on. I never thought my dh is capable of cheating but what triggered my gut feeling are some changes in his behaviour like picking fights and criticising me all the time, not calling just texting, no sex at all and very distant.
This morning I found a prescription steroid cream used for skin problems with his name on, the date tracing back to when I was away with the kids seeing family. The odd thing is that the pharmacy that he got it from is about an hour drive away from where we live.
i don’t know what he used it for, my first thought was for some sort of intimate infection. He never mentioned it which is really strange.

My phone broke. Asked to use his to check my Facebook. Before I logged him out to log myself in a message popped up so I said you have a message and handed his phone back (didn't look at the message) he went white, read the message, logged himself out and gave the phone back to me. Unfortunately for him he was thick as mince and he hadn't changed his password from when I set the account up for him so I logged him back in, spent a lovely 15 minutes reading about all the things they had done together and how her friend would definitely be up for a threesome with them. Logged him out, gave his phone back, said I was going to get something from my car and drove to my mums.

I had a gut feeling for maybe a year. Was majorly gaslighted until one random day I remembered his old old email address and thought hmmm wonder if it was closed. Because he always used the same passwords for everything it was pretty easy. There was one email received almost minutes before I logged on, a reply from the OW to his email he had sent her minutes before. The email chain only went back a few but stupid moron didn’t delete them out the sent box 🙄 it was all there for almost over a year , emails sent back and forth when I was away, in hospital having our baby, late nights he was working etc . He couldn’t even deny it, it was heartbreaking , disgusting and made me really angry he had told me I was paranoid and I even went on anti depressants cause he made me think I was going mad. If there’s a gut feeling there’s always a reason why

ExH. He was rejecting me constantly, but I felt sure he could be trusted and I honestly didn't suspect a thing until he was showing me something on his mobile phone and a text message came through.

You're a much better person than him

I was a teenager and for some reason I had to find something in his wardrobe
Found a wonderbra and a thong that was just covered in shit-neither where mine and when I pulled the bra out,he went white
I just knew-hed fucked another girl and she'd had a bad tummy and shat herself
Why he hung onto her undies (or why she left them) is a mystery
I walked and found I was having his baby a month later-he tried to claim 'it wasn't mine' and I never saw him again

Years later I'd just had his baby (different bloke!)
I was so pleased he got on with my friend-they really hit it off
She threw us a joint birthday party and they disappeared for about 15 minutes-they claimed they'd gone for a fag
He went off sex-this was a bloke who wanted it 24/7
He suddenly wanted me to go to bed at 10pm rather than staying up all night with him and running on no sleep while caring for his child
He never had any credit-this is when you'd pay per text but his texts where always deleted
They went out to 'buy my Christmas present' together-and just didn't come back that night
They strolled back in the following morning-i lost it and asked where the hell they'd been-she snapped
Beat me up in front of my kids and left hand in hand with him
They dragged me through the courts for access to our child until he lost interest and dumped her-I think the penny dropped that he was shit in bed and a cocklodger but she didn't want to lose face and finish him first
He will have got bored with her and walked once he found someone new and 'better'

Both have tried to come snivelling back via sm years later-he then suddenly went missing and her mum died and she moved away

Both firmly blocked and I hope he's dead

i wasted 10 years with a very abusive cheat cheated more times i can count but fear keeps you there .
Anyhow luck was on my side for once and i went with my gut i just new it again but this time he was messing with someone younger to young she was 14 long story short he was good mates with her parents .
I plucked op the guts to go to the house one night and i was shitting my self she was home alone and i told her what i thought we had a good chat turns out she hated him she confronted him the netx day and called the police as her 14 year old come out with every thing he went to prison for 27 months .
came out and went back with her now have kids together .
Yes he`s cheated on her more than once and she knows about it shes in her 20s now hes nearly 40 constant arguing he controls her like a remote .
her mum and dad disowned them they really tried to talk to her but shes wanted him coz we where all scum brainwashed she now sees what we all tried telling her shes trapped im now 8 years free and karma is real.
He was put on the sex ofenders list .

She gave me I'm not sure where I am in this relationship speech last yr.
Time past. I knew what was coming. So I took this time to plan and grieve.

Then she disappeared for a weekend away with the girls (This was a lie). She came back rather agitated. Then 2 weeks after she asked if I would look after her dog. I said no. Then she asked if I would drop off her dog and pick it up from the dog kennels because she wanted to go away again.
I said no, she got arsey, and we bickered. A while later her phone rang whilst she was in the shower I looked and it was him. She came down from the shower I confronted her she confessed (She actually laughed during the confession). She'd actually been away to the lakes with him. All she could say was, 'Can't I have something for myself'.
That was thee end of the relationship. She disappeared. Then she came back, I had to sit in the house with her for 6 weeks waiting for my new home to be ready. In that six weeks, she was explicit in her requests for sex. I refused.
Even when I left, at midnight she was asking via text, if I was horny. Wtf.

She tried to convince a mutual friend there was no overlap and he was just a friend.😂Mutual friend explained to her she was out of order and to stop lying and have some respect for herself and me.
I haven't spoken to her or seen her since the end of March.
Looking back she told me what she'd done to previous men, apparently, she wouldn't do that to me because I was the one.
The counselor is nearly 1000% sure she's a narc.

To be honest previous to her I was having a great time on apps dating, my life was great. Now my life is great again. No more control, manipulation, and mind games.
It's a relief.

Years ago with my ex. He'd been messaging his ex, telling her how much he loved her etc, he was stupid enough to leave the conversation open before he fell asleep.
I got up with our kids the next morning, went to use the laptop and it was all there.
Fast forward to now I'm happily married to my DH and neither me or my kids have contact with the ex

He started wearing aftershave after saying he didn't like it, and then it was the classic, makeup on his shirt. Knew it wasn't mine so asked what it was and he went absolutely scarlet and couldn't answer. After that it was just a matter of which of two women it could be. Then at his birthday party she was all over him, couldn't leave his side for a minute, and I wasn't the only one who noticed and drew the correct conclusion.

• snooping on his computer where the history of chats were saved - he was messaging 10s of women for sex and I found evidence in the chat of him meeting 4/5 of them. I was able to contact one of the women who confirmed it

• forcing him to answer his phone and put it on speaker after he kept ignoring it ringing multiple times and looking shifty. It was obvious by how they were both talking (him using a fake voice and saying she had the wrong number, coughing, her saying a different (his fake) name and being certain it was him, asking him why he was being odd and then getting pissed off and telling him to fuck off - it was obvious she was emotionally invested)

We didn't live together and after these incidents all the other weirdness made sense. I stupidly forgave him and he cheated again.

He tried to deny it etc. I should have dumped him before I had evidence because he was a shit in so many different ways. I just had low self-esteem and not much else to live for at the time. And I loved him, of course. But he was a shit without the cheating. I have thrived since I left, I never thought I could/ would.

First time - I popped round for something to find his ex wife moving back in. That was 2011 and I could still cry if I really thought about it.

Second time - his 10 year old son let something slip.

That was 2012. I've not had a proper relationship since. There doesn't seem a lot of point!

Checked his phone whilst he was in the shower!

I am so, so sorry. What a horrible monster he is. Utter bastard.

There were many examples of weird things happening with various women but the most obvious was when he came round my house for the weekend, when I kissed him his mouth tasted of another woman. He said it must have been something he ate

He was vile

I went to a nightclub where he worked and the first person I saw when I walked in was his ex,I knew straight away that she was there with him.
She didn't know me and he only realised I was there when he spotted two of my friends.He spent the rest of the night following me around,whining that he'd 'sent her home now'and it wasn't his fault because she'd phoned him and he didn't know how to say no to her.

I just knew. But I got definite proof when their messages appeared on his iPad.

Done to me 3 times. All had lots of little things that rang alarm bells but they had bullshit excuses that I didn't really believe but I couldn't really prove otherwise either. Didn't want to end it in case I was wrong but see now that I was deluding myself. If I ever have another relationship, I won't suppress my own intelligence and intuition.

Last one caught bang to rights though. We had linked Google accounts so we could have a joint photo album. I could also see his location history, not that I used to check it. But then the evidence was there when I needed it.

My friend found out because he bought, flowers, chocolates and condoms (they didn’t use them) in Tesco and put them on the club card so they showed up in ‘my favourites’! What an idiot 😂

Phone records. This was before iMessage so all texts were itemised. The times and sheer number of texts gave it away

Oh my, in hindsight there were so many. He got it a bit easer due to working away Mon to Thursday. I can practically pinpoint the date he met her. I was expecting 2nd child, he was desparate to have. Overnight he changed, snappy, moody couldn't even be civil to me. Ignored our first born. He looked at me like he hated me. I was so naive back then didn't suspect. Put it down to work stress!!!!. Pre mobile phones, was putting baby to bed and overheard him saying I love you to someone. Burst into room, he slammed down phone. Said he was speaking to a male workmate!!. Extremely long story short, OW phoned, he answered and had to rush out, no time to talk. She'd told husband she was leaving him, so that was that. He moved out 6 weeks later. Even his mother told me to throw him out. I'm the happiest I've ever been and Casanova left OW after she caught him on Internet messaging another female. Karma!.

My best friend rang me whilst I was on holiday in a caravan with our children. DH was supposed to be joining us at the weekend so we would have an extra week. My friend was out on her wedding anniversary to a very expensive restaurant DH only took me too three times each year, my birthday, our wedding anniversary and valentine's day. He was there all over OW. My friend and her DH arrived and saw him with OW and left straight away she was so upset. She went home and rang me to tell me. It was a massive shock. I packed up and the next morning drove home without speaking to DH who was at work. When I arrived home our bed stank of her perfume so I had no hesitation in packing up all his stuff and getting the locks changed. I got my sister and BiL to come over whilst I text DH to come home and collect his stuff. He came rushing home banging on the door but my BiL went to speak to him and he left. I think he told him he'd kick his ass if he didn't go quietly. My BiL is a big fit guy. He went to her. They broke up 3 weeks later. Bad luck for him because I wouldn't take him back. I divorced him first then sorted finances out later.

These men

Shifty dirty cheaters and stupid to boot

Many years ago, in my 20s. Serious bf who kept pressuring me to have a child with him. We tried for nearly a year. I went away for a few days and came back early. All seemed fine.

That night in bed I just had an instinct to reach under the bed. It was pitch black but I felt a box. It was a pack of open and partly used condoms.

I've never felt so sick.

Thank god i hadn't got pregnant. Lucky escape.

He was seemed such a sweet boy too but was a total shit who turned nasty when confronted.

He sent me an email he was meant to send to his mum.