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Original poster

Son's grandfather is taking me to court

106 replies

xx200xx · 26/05/2023 20:50

Hello,
So I'm currently in a refuge due to my sons father, we have been going through family court proceedings for a few months now and a non molestration was accepted and now going through child visitation proceedings. Contact between my son and his father is going to be going ahead but when judges decided what's the best approach. My son is 1 year old.

However my ex partners father has just applied for court also to try and take me som. He's accusing me of child abuse ans neglect. His concerns are that he has not seen my child for 10 weeks and he don't know where I am. My sons father and grandfather live together and have definitely teamed up now to try and get my son. The grandfather has said I neglected my son since birth and I did cocaine on a daily basis. This is all lies. They would all tell me how much of a good mother I am.

Social services even said they had no concerns over me. I'm just so worried now because the grandfather is trying to take me son away from me. I now need another CAFCASS interview even tho I'm already going through the proocedings of this.

Any advice please??? I'm so scared

OP posts:
Godlovesall26 · 26/05/2023 20:57

Well the cocaine part is provable by a police drug test. Let them insist on it!
Sorry I don’t know much else, but there’s that.

Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:00

Godlovesall26 · 26/05/2023 20:57

Well the cocaine part is provable by a police drug test. Let them insist on it!
Sorry I don’t know much else, but there’s that.

I admitted to doing cocaine on nights out before, that's been admitted to the social worker but never a daily thing or around my son. He's still insisting on a drug test. Even tho his son smokes so much cannabis a day.

Please not judgement

OP posts:
SophiaElise · 26/05/2023 21:01

Cocaine lasts months in hair, so that bit is easy to disprove.

That aside, with the concerns around your child's father I can't imagine it'll come to anything.

Soubriquet · 26/05/2023 21:02

Then let them do a drug test on you but insist one is done on your ex too.

SophiaElise · 26/05/2023 21:02

Sorry - have just seen your update. Was that after having the baby?

Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:02

SophiaElise · 26/05/2023 21:01

Cocaine lasts months in hair, so that bit is easy to disprove.

That aside, with the concerns around your child's father I can't imagine it'll come to anything.

Can I just ask what u mean on both parts? Sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:03

SophiaElise · 26/05/2023 21:02

Sorry - have just seen your update. Was that after having the baby?

Yes it was. The social worker knew about this because i admitted it to her.

OP posts:
Godlovesall26 · 26/05/2023 21:11

I don’t know about proving low level use tests vs presence or absence sorry. I’d definitely research this
When was your last time ? If it was longer ago, the better for you.

Godlovesall26 · 26/05/2023 21:13

Also, testimonies may help you, neutral people who knew you for the past year as a mum. Coke is as I’m sure you know not the best look, how did your social worker react ?

GoodQuestion01 · 26/05/2023 21:13

Do you still take cocaine on a night out?

Godlovesall26 · 26/05/2023 21:14

By all this I do mean if it really only was on the very occasional night out.

Godlovesall26 · 26/05/2023 21:17

Also if you’re in a refuge, and your case is progressing, I imagine you have strong strong arguments against him.
The social worker knowing previously is good also.

Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:22

I haven't been out in ages and hardly did go out. My last time was end if January.

My social worker wasn't that bothered tbh as it was never around my son. And because my child's father was doing it and never told her she was a little shocked

OP posts:
Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:24

I think a drug test shows up to three months. That's what I have read anyway tbh

OP posts:
boomoohoo · 26/05/2023 21:27

I'm surprised the grandfathers application was allowed to go through.. I thought grandparents didnt have 'rights' to contact, and would only be considered and assessed by SS if they were looking at removal from parents.

Dont worry about recreational drug use, it is so far away from threshold to remove a child.

I would discuss this with the sw and refuge staff, what he is doing is really stressful, harassing and unfair in an already v difficult and vulnerable situation for you and your child. We'll done for getting out 👏

Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:41

boomoohoo · 26/05/2023 21:27

I'm surprised the grandfathers application was allowed to go through.. I thought grandparents didnt have 'rights' to contact, and would only be considered and assessed by SS if they were looking at removal from parents.

Dont worry about recreational drug use, it is so far away from threshold to remove a child.

I would discuss this with the sw and refuge staff, what he is doing is really stressful, harassing and unfair in an already v difficult and vulnerable situation for you and your child. We'll done for getting out 👏

It's concerning especially while I'm going through he courts with his son.
I no longer have a social worker as she didn't see me and issue to my son, she stated on her application for my ongoing court case that the grandfather started acting up when I left.

Just never gonna end all of this. It's so scary!!

OP posts:
Cakeandcoffee93 · 26/05/2023 21:44

Cocaine lasts 3 days actually so you’d be fine. Most people do it on nights out / I don’t like lol
cannabis is 31 days if it’s a one off. If habitual longer
I am sure the grandad wouldn’t have a leg to stand on with him living with father of child

Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:46

Cakeandcoffee93 · 26/05/2023 21:44

Cocaine lasts 3 days actually so you’d be fine. Most people do it on nights out / I don’t like lol
cannabis is 31 days if it’s a one off. If habitual longer
I am sure the grandad wouldn’t have a leg to stand on with him living with father of child

Do they do hair strand tests in court? Because that says it can last to months.
The grandad has been very vindictive in all of this. Just hope this courts over look this one!! No local authorities have ever had concerns over me and the children center stated I went every Monday since my son was 6 weeks old and he was always happy

OP posts:
Crazydoglady1980 · 26/05/2023 21:48

The court can order hair strand tests, if they do this might be in your favour, as they can tell levels of use and how long you have gone without using too. If it comes up just be honest

Snoken · 26/05/2023 21:50

I agree, just keep being honest and don't do it again. There is no way you can prove that you only do drugs when you are not around you child and your ex will try anything to set you up so you need to just stay away from those types of things now.

Wnikat · 26/05/2023 21:53

Do you have legal aid? You need advice from a solicitor

Iyiyiiii · 26/05/2023 21:55

Cakeandcoffee93 · 26/05/2023 21:44

Cocaine lasts 3 days actually so you’d be fine. Most people do it on nights out / I don’t like lol
cannabis is 31 days if it’s a one off. If habitual longer
I am sure the grandad wouldn’t have a leg to stand on with him living with father of child

most people???

(or do you mean, most people who do it, do it on a night out....?? which doesnt really need saying does it)

Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:56

Wnikat · 26/05/2023 21:53

Do you have legal aid? You need advice from a solicitor

Yes I have legal aid and a solicitor. She's not in the office until Tuesday now. My anxiety is sky high.

I can't believe he said I neglect my child since birth, he's said he's contacted loaval authority loads but nothing got done. It's lies !!

OP posts:
SwedishDeathClearance · 26/05/2023 21:56

boomoohoo · 26/05/2023 21:27

I'm surprised the grandfathers application was allowed to go through.. I thought grandparents didnt have 'rights' to contact, and would only be considered and assessed by SS if they were looking at removal from parents.

Dont worry about recreational drug use, it is so far away from threshold to remove a child.

I would discuss this with the sw and refuge staff, what he is doing is really stressful, harassing and unfair in an already v difficult and vulnerable situation for you and your child. We'll done for getting out 👏

Thats a MN myth
I know 2 grandparents who secured visitation rights through the courts.

Original poster
xx200xx · 26/05/2023 21:58

The thing is he's going to be seeing his grandson with my sons father gets contact. He got offered some contact but refused because he wanted over night. They practically live together but the grandfather isn't anyways there only on a night time. So there plan is to get my child to live with them. Hope this makes sense

OP posts: